plz show me the way

[devd]

hi friends,

I'm a 28 yr old guy..i had never thought that i would need to ask this question here or anywhere else...plz help me decide what to do next..

I'm from India. I have a great job. Life as such is good. Atleast on the exterior.
My girlfriend of 9 yrs broke up with me last year for another guy. It had drifted on to being a long distance relationship n she couldnt adjust. I was in a shock. But recovered and decided to move on. Time went by..i settled down...met other girls..made new friends...none of them clicked me like this girl...i will call her "natasha" in this forum...coz i like the name..

Its been approx 5 months since we met and started talking to each other...I love her...She likes me...she says she needs more time to fall in love with me..i said ok..no problem at all..take ur time..nothing's running away..meanwhile ders this guy who's her brother's friend who wants to marry her and her family is forcing her to marry dat guy...she initially refused...but then she's giving into the pressure and all the emotional blackmail..
one moment she's trying to drive me away by being rude to me...the other she calls me up n cries..i try to support her and say i can take this forward if u take a stand for urself..she says she will adjust to her life..and dats all dats in store for her...she wont love dat guy but will marry him. wen asked abt me..she says plainly " i dont love u...i dont have time now.."

and she's no dumb girl..she's a very intelligent but sensitive girl..

im writing this after boozing for the last 3 days...not knowing wat to do...despite knowing pretty well dat booze wont help..it just lets me drown myself in her thoughts..
but im not a coward...i want to do something abt it...so i have thrown all the bottles out..n i need ur help...

plz help me and tell me wat to do..

thanks..

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Kill the guy, then she will come running to you. When she is begging for you back, it will be easier to kill her and move on.

[samreddevilz]

meet other girls

[michelle23]

you cant do anything. Its her choice. If she wants to do what shes told-then you have to accept that. You cant save her from her family. She needs to stand up to them herself.

Plus she has told you she doesnt love you so what are you sticking around for?

[Ruganzu]

Hey I understand your anguish a bit. This circumstance is stemming from cultural objectivity which complicates things a bit also as being seen from a mostly western point of view. I am from a small country called burundi and have seen parental-pressured marriages. They are part of what makes a culture "unique" and "rich" regadless of whether you or I AGREE with them. Now I see you were in a relationship for nine years and it died Im sorry. I'm glad to hear you moved on and it doesnt plague you anymore... Thats good, Many posts here are dealing with heart break-up including me so Thats good to see yours is not.
You have to understand a few things here though first.

1. Though you may "love" her she doesnt love you (Thats the biggest understanding) I dont know if you consider love a state of person so much so as an emotion or proclivity but dont let it blind you in doing "Right". Love is a product of righteousness not selfishness. If you love her you have to understand and compute that she doesnt love you and that he life is turning elsewhere. Dont complicate her life by overpresenting yourself.

2. Culture. Though it may be diferent then what alot of people may know it still is common in the sense of exactly WHAT IS turning her life away from you. For some its a cheating woman (Like mine) for others its death etc etc. Yours happens to be cultural. Thats life.. It would have been complicated if she had loved you and they were FORCING her to unlove you but that simply is not the case. JUst like you did the first lady of 9 years you will have to be forced to do again. Move on. Enjoy things outside of dating for a while. My friend in life you come out lonely and you die lonely and if being with someone in between is the only thing keeping you happy then you will die very lonely and unhappy. Love you! For it is what is in you that others fall in love with, and get them to a love of themselves! It's hard I acknowledge tht especially in a society that believes being by yourself is "Unconstructive" but sometimes (SOMETIMES) it is what is required. SOme people Love attention... How long did you stay single after nine YEARS of a relationship? How long can you?
Ruganzu

[devd]

Thank you all frnds..thanks ruganzu fr some really gud adv...i like d kill one too..lol..i try to carry on wit my routine work each day..but it's hard to sleep at night..i resort to some heavy drinking n it helps me sleep..i know it's not d solution..i stayed single fr more dan a yr after my break up..
U guys hav perceived though dat she doesnt love me..it could b d positivity in me wen I say this...but I hav been wid her for 5 months..u know a person in just one glance..i know she loves me..but doesnt accept..infact can't say..d way she talks to me..d way she looks at me..a kid can tell..
She called me 20 mins back..it was abt midnight den..she cut d phone wen her dad called her in..she wants to meet me tomorrow wen she's coming to my side of d city...i can't see her...but I know I will see her...i know it wil just increase my sorrow or watever it is..but can't help it..

Love is dangerous..lesson learnt..but still I will keep falling in it...i just wish she has d courage to stand up for it..i can fight d world for her..

Wish me luck friends..to take d right decision..
Thanks again..
Gudnyt

[Ruganzu]

Thank you all frnds..thanks ruganzu fr some really gud adv...i like d kill one too..lol..i try to carry on wit my routine work each day..but it's hard to sleep at night..i resort to some heavy drinking n it helps me sleep..i know it's not d solution..i stayed single fr more dan a yr after my break up..
U guys hav perceived though dat she doesnt love me..it could b d positivity in me wen I say this...but I hav been wid her for 5 months..u know a person in just one glance..i know she loves me..but doesnt accept..infact can't say..d way she talks to me..d way she looks at me..a kid can tell..
She called me 20 mins back..it was abt midnight den..she cut d phone wen her dad called her in..she wants to meet me tomorrow wen she's coming to my side of d city...i can't see her...but I know I will see her...i know it wil just increase my sorrow or watever it is..but can't help it..

Love is dangerous..lesson learnt..but still I will keep falling in it...i just wish she has d courage to stand up for it..i can fight d world for her..

Wish me luck friends..to take d right decision..
Thanks again..
Gudnyt

Let me know how it goes, Praying for you my friend

[devd]

Let me know how it goes, Praying for you my friend

I guess its d end of d road for us..she says she loves me..n will always do..her marriage is jst going to b a thing she has to do n can't marry me...
I told her lets giv it a break..if after dat u dont hav d courage to marry me..its gonna b gudbye tym...m I ryt???