Guys! Plz help me.

[julie111]

I met this guy on match and he seems to be a funny and a great man. He texted me one or two days and next day he asked me to meet him quick for a tea or wine. We went to a nice restaurant and sat there for 2 hrs. It was fun. And then we went to a bar and drank and had fun. Then he asked me to come to my place and for some reason, I guess we both felt comfortable and went to my place. We had wine and talked a bit and then we went to bed and made out, a lil bit of playing etc. no sex. He wanted to but I didn't. And he slept here and left in he morning. I made him some coffee. He talked a lil in the morning. While I was drunk I told him he has to be exclusive he has to date me and nice etc. While we slept he really hold me and hugged me etc. he kissed me in my head which I feel as a very gesture. And he sad see you when he left. I am a very open minded person. So next day I asked if he slept. He said a lil and I asked if he wants to come for coffee to a coffee shop as I was going there. He said he is tired and will work which I understand. I saud ok and said I miss holding him already. He said haha. And then I sent him a nice pic of me and asked him to send me one which I took. He didn't respond. I didn't bother. Next day I just sent a nice pic. No response. I don't like to bother guys if they don't like me. But in this we went a lil farther fr a first date. I am just curious what he might be up to? He is active in his Facebook posting picture. But can't reply to me - so busy is not n option here. But he is a good looking guy and I am a gorgeous athletic body girl. I m super smart and good job and highly educated etc. then what's the problem? He has 2 kids btw which I didn't know until he told me. Which s ok. I like him and I can work on it. I want to know what s this means? It's been 2 days. I am not dying here but I don't like games either. Should I stop contacting at all? How does a guy want ? Is there any sign that he liked me? Or just not interested at all. What should I do guys? Tell me plz how your brain works here? Thanks a lot. We are both in our 30's.

[michelle23]

hes not interested. Sounds like he just wanted some fun or else maybe you moved too fast for him. Forget him and learn from this experience. Be a little harder to get in future and dont get so drunk and start talking about exclusivity on the first date. Also dont bring a guy back home on the first date. That is rule number 1.

Best of luck

[smackie9]

He was just looking for some sex. It doesn't have to be wham bam thank you mam type sex. Some men do enjoy the intimacy that goes along with being with someone, even if it's just for a night. As soon as a guy suggests heading over to your place or his place, you should know by now what they might be expecting. Getting a bit tipsy or bombed should be avoided, especially if it's someone you have just met. Not only does it not set a good impression about yourself, but what you did by having him go to your place could have yourself up to be raped. You need to date a little smarter and take your time getting to know someone before hoping or hopping into a relationship.

[julie111]

I understand that. But he said this is his first time like this. He didn't even have a condom. The way I see is that he must have felt something and same for me, we went to my place. We got attracted to each other from our very first talk. He was telling me how his roommates sleep with 2 new girls every week. He said he just wants a good girl. He doesn't care about the looks. He sounded genuine.

Anyways, I am happy that I didn't have sex. But we just talked and cuddled. Not more than that. Should I ask him? Or just leave this door open in case he thinks about me if I don't reach out to him ...? I am not a very negative person, so I think apart from sex (which he can get here so easily), I think he must have liked me but right now he wants to date more. But I like to give chance to every one and I think I can here as well. So from a guy's point what should I do? Should I text something about it was a bit crazy idea but we must have felt something to have done this. .? Plz don't tell me lessons learnt.. I know that!! have been dating and I never feel this way. With him it was easy and comfortable. He is nice not like rapist. He has 2 beautiful children's and he is a good dad.

[Valixy]

From a girl's point of view...don't text him anymore. You should be spoilt with attention and not asking for it. If he decides to ignore a good looking open minded girl like you, that's his loss.

[smackie9]

My point is, people can tell you anything to manipulate the situation. Anyways how do YOU know he felt something? Did he call you back to say that he did? No so stop acting desperate. Your imagination is getting the best of you. You already showed interest, now leave the ball in his court to ask for another date.

Tip: men ( not all but some) will do and say anything to get the trust of a woman to take advantage of them. He may say he's not a player, but what proof other than his words do you have that he isn't?

[michelle23]

Tip: men ( not all but some) will do and say anything to get the trust of a woman to take advantage of them. He may say he's not a player, but what proof other than his words do you have that he isn't?[/QUOTE]

Exactly OP ^^. That is why you need more than one or two dates, you need to meet his family, friends, talk about past relationships etc etc. You cant do all that in one date and you need to stop trusting people too fast. You know nothing about him so stop sticking your head in the clouds and open your eyes. Maybe he is genuine, maybe hes not-either way it takes a lot longer to get to know someone properly and see their true colors and you shouldnt trust a bloke you just met and invite him back to your place. You met him on the net. He could have been a rapist, serial killer, narcissistic etc etc so be much more careful in future. Some people are very manipulative and good at telling you what you want to hear. He could have been bulls**ting his way into your knickers so stop being so naive.

[julie111]

Guys I agree!!! You know one of those time we take chances and some risk to test our luck? Guess it was it. I don't know him, I can't say if he is some psycho etc. I just went with my instinct - he seemed good. Later I did check him out on FB etc and he seems decent. I won't text him anymore. But here is the thing - in my opinion -

1. Stay positive as you never know he might be the one. He may be just not sure yet.

2. He may be interested but not sure. He wants time and will buzz back if he think he should try it out.

3. He just playing games - trying me to get him. -- I can't do that as I don't feel comfortable chasing someone without knowing how they like that. I like him and I think I kind of conveyed it by my follow up texts. His turn for sure.

4. I hate to say this but he is a complete asshole. Who takes a girl to her place on a first date? If you know you won't date her and you know the girl is looking for her soulmate. He said I am crazy - yes I am. I want a man who can love me like a princess. I am smart and I don't need anything than love honestly. He knows that. And if he still he did the for fun and to see me naked - how pathetic human being this man could be.

I don't believe it's 4th. He is a sweet and funny and open minded guy. Only time will tell.

So you guys suggest don't text right? I am ok with that. There are other nice guys want to date me too. I told ths person that if he dates m I won't date others and he should not either. I will give him a week time and then I have no choice but to move on. I really liked him.

Don't you all agree? I really like to hear opinions as I can open up here more than my friends. Although I told my gf about him and he suggested give him time too.

[michelle23]

love isnt a fairytale and no man is gonna whisk you to some castle in the sky and treat you like a princess, sorry to shatter your illusion. i suggest you stop reading bs stories like twilight coz it aint gonna happen love.

your too easy and you scare men away. im not talking about sex- im talking about emotions. your so in love with the idea of love that you think you can magically click your fingers with a guy. it dont work that way.

you need yo slow down and take your time getting to know someone before you start talking about love, feelings, relayionships, exclusivity. give the guy some time to suss you out before clinging to him like a vine.

thats where your going wrong

[smackie9]

OMFG you only had one date with the guy.....give it a rest. It's possible he has other dates lined up this weekend, who knows, stop checking your phone and go out and do something.

[michelle23]

yes your obsessive. try to be cool. have some mystery. you already f**ked up with this guy so good luck with the next.

smackies quote is good here-stay calm, just chew your arm off lol. your racing ahead and it comes across as CRAZY.

stop scaring men away and chillax.

how can you really like him? you met him once! seriously girl get your head outa your ass and wake up.

[Paul07]

you are not crazy or obsessed

having a hot night on your first date happens and thinking too much of the girl/guy after that is common too but it's not always the best start.

if you'll see this guy again don't forget how he treated you this time and play your cards differently since he hasn't valued what happened the same way you did. it might have nothing to do with you if this doesn't work out though since you haven't lied, genuinely liked him and been yourself.

keep in mind that people are not always what they seem, be more cautious in the future and let a man work harder to get you.

[julie111]

Thanks Paul nd all of you. I am not in fairy tale. But I believe in love. And it will happen!! I am not easily available either. I might have been easy for ths guy - only because I felt comfortable. I understand what you all saying though. But I hope and prey that dreams come to true. You got to believe it. I am not looking for castle either - what I mean by princess is to be in love, care for each other.

Lets see. I wish you all good luck. Just prey for me that I do meet the love of my life. That's the only wish of my life. I have everything else in my life. I wish he just be a good man. I believe in it guys. I have not read twilight either.... muah to all, bye!

[julie111]

Pray!! damn typo from phone!