If someone was honest about their past 100%, what is a deal breaker for you?

[searock]

Why is my character low?

She explained it to you: because you think that all women who have been raped have emotional baggage.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

She explained it to you: because you think that all women who have been raped have emotional baggage.

That's not what I said. I said the deal breaker for me would be the fact that shes not a virgin anymore.

Having emotional baggage, was another user's deal breaker.

[searock]

That's not what I said.

Here's what you said about women that have been raped:

I doubt anyone could heal from something like that.

UnderTheMoon said that your character is low because you think that no woman who has been raped can heal from it.

[Eng.Jackadmans]

Here's what you said about women that have been raped:



UnderTheMoon said that your character is low because you think that no woman who has been raped can heal from it.

That was my opinion. Doesn't make it a fact. I am entitled to an opinon.

However, the fact that she lost her virginity from being raped remains.

[searock]

That was my opinion. Doesn't make it a fact.

This was never in discussion.

I am entitled to an opinon.

As is UnderTheMoon.

However, the fact that she lost her virginity from being raped remains.

It is irrelevant to the current discussion, and also not necessarily true (she might have been raped after having already lost her virginity).

[michelle23]

You could say I was an addict in the past because I was borderline alcoholic so I was addicted to alcohol. Now I don't touch the stuff and think I'm a much nicer person. So is it right that some people might judge me as not being worthy because in the past I was a tit and now I'm trying hard to be much better than that? Fortunately I told my GF on our first date that I no longer drink and I explained exactly why. Fortunately she's generous of spirit and didn't tell me I was a bad person.

Well done for turning your life around. i wouldn't hold it against someone or think they are "unworthy" because of it. But I have had my fair share of dealings with alcoholics and it really isnt something I want in my life. It almost tore my family apart and for me it is a deal breaker. I dont want to marry my dad. Sorry if that offends you. Im sure your a great guy. So is my dad. He has a heart of gold and has always been there for us, worked very hard and I forgive him for his alcohol problems but I dont want to go through that again.

[michelle23]

I know a woman who was raped when she was 16. She has no emotional or psychological problems. She healed from it and is very strong now. Shes in a happy relationship, has a good job, a son, got a degree in psychology and has moved on from it. It prob still upsets her sometimes. Its not something anyone could ever forgive or forget and it is a huge trauma that will prob never go away BUT they can live a normal happy life if they are motivated enough to heal and move on.

One of my friends was abused when she was 12. She has her problems, seasonal depression but she is also in a happy loving relationship and is trying to make the most of her life.

To answer the question though: I would not like to date a guy who had a traumatic childhood, or very traumatic experiences or came from a very destructive family. Family is important to me and I prefer someone who has a good relationship with his family and a healthy outlook on relationships and family life.

[TablesandChairs]

People don't have to date anyone they don't want to date. It's pretty simple. If you've gotten to know them and feel they have issues that you don't want to deal with, then there's no obligation to continue.