Same girl broke my heart twice. (because of her mother) need answer to a question.

[whitedragon20na]

I never said it was odd. I tried to find one when her and I were together and I couldn't. I know it's not THAT big of a thing, but I do believe that God did it on purpose to show me that everything will work out over time.
Also, it's not like there are only 5 or even 10 different quarters minted now, there's over 30 and I happened upon that particular one at that very moment. But I am allowed to believe what I want, and that's what I believe.
That was God's way of telling me that I'm going to be fine and she'll be back when she sorts out her life.

[mini696]

So I guess you dont need an answer to your question anymore? I'll give you my $0.02 worth anyway.

I speak from experience. I asked the first person I slept with to marry me. Her mum (who I found out didn't like me -after we broke up) had a lot of influence over my GF. I can pick a few similarities between your posts and my ex.

Except for the God stuff.

My now ex-fiancee and I were together for four months before she decided to rip my heart out last night. Her and I were friends for seven months before that and were together for a month two months before that.

You would hardly know this girl, and you asked her to marry you?

The unique part of my situation is that the first time her mother told her to break up with me. This time, she called and broke up with me after having a 'chat' with her mother.

My GF listened to her mum too much too.... But... It still takes her (your GF) to break it off though. Her mum cant tell you its over.

This time she doesn't even want to be friends.
When I finally did get ahold of her, she said she needed her time and that it would take months if not a full year.

As said above. She is going to use that time to forget about you.

Basically her mother doesn't even know me. She dislikes me based on the simple fact that I don't live in her area.
I probably should mention that I live in Colorado and she lives in Minnesota.

I doubt thats the only thing. How religious is her family? You are obviously a religious person, and a LOT of people are offended (put off) by religion.

First off, I love her with all my heart and under the circumstances we met, there has to be a reason for it.

What are the circumstances?

Also, I gave her my virginity when I told her that I was saving it for that one special person.

Did that myself (I hadn't had intercourse with anyone until I met my ex)... Makes you look desperate, and girls hate men looking desperate. You will also have a special attachment to this girl ALWAYS. Even when you get over her she will still hold a place in your heart. I have a feeling you are thinking with your dick, especially if you use the "I waited for you" trick on her.

Another thing, she constantly kept telling me that everything was going to be okay, that I wasn't going to lose her again and how much she loves me and how I'm the best thing that's ever happened to her and all that.

Thats probably because she does care about you (or did), and is trying to be nice. You seem to be emotional... Are you? Girls dont like sooks.

The crazy thing is we were fine at about 5PM (MST) last night, then when she called me back at 9PM, she did a 180 and told me all this stuff and how she didn't think it would work and all that.

She finally got the nerve (guts) to tell you. It doesnt happen that quick, obviously she has been thinking about this, and trying to lead you on and keep you in check until she could tell you.

God has told me everything is going to work out.

Some clerk gave you a coin? Thats a bit of a stretch, but I admire your devotion.

I tried to find one...

Just so you know I am not a Bible hater or anything like that. I have very strong beliefs (your signiture rings true for me -with the God bit-)
See... You believe in God... I believe you'll find what your looking for. Thats why I believe you got the coin, because you wanted to find it. Understand my dribble?

------------------------------

OK now I have just about picked on everything you said, I want to finish with this.

I said straight up I have had a relationship with very similar issues. When it ended in tears, she asked me never to call her again. So I didn't. Four months later SHE CALLED ME. We got back together.

However I knew after the frist week of being back together that she hadnt changed, and neither had I, and it was doomed anyway, so we broke it off. Again I havent spoken to her since, and dont want to.

So I think there is a chance you might get her back. If she does, she will tell you her mum is wrong and you are right. Hopefully she will mean it.

Mick

[whitedragon20na]

okay, I'll take the time to respond to what I feel I should explain.
a. The first one is that I've known her for over a year, in that time she was my love, then one of the best friends I've ever had then my love again.
b. her mother is too overprotective and overbearing. no one even really knows how religious I am. I haven't been to church since I was 12. I just believe in God very strongly.
c. the circumstances are; she was living in Chicago from January through July that year to save up money for college. I was on the phone with my best friend who lives in Chicago and heard a voice in the background and asked who it was. that was Melissa and for some reason I just had to talk to her. from the first time we talked we had this amazing connection that's impossible to explain.
d. yea, I can be emotional, and I didn't act like a 'sook' as you put it, but I didn't act like a jerk either. You could say I hold my emotions on my sleeve, because I get upset over pets dying, including hamsters, but that's because I care about animals dearly. same with her though of course, but in a totally different way.
e. the virginity thing. I was saving myself for when I was truly in love with a girl. I won't have sex with someone unless I truly love them. that's my stance, it wasn't a line in the least, considering sex is always the last thing on my mind in any relationship.
f. I was saying that I was trying to find one when we were together, for a sentimental thing. I didn't end up getting one until after we broke up, that's why I said I see it as my own personal sign. another sign, which was while we were together, I was talking to her on the phone while riding in the car, she was driving too, a car pulled up in front of us and it had Minnesota plates, at that exact same time a car pulled in front of her with Colorado plates.

A couple more things.
I have already begun the no contact thing, amazingly less than 36 hours after the break-up. Luckily I'm smart enough to realize that this is going to take time and I'm going to give her the time she needs. In that time she needs to sort out everything and I have a feeling she'll realize that she made a mistake. Because of this, right now, I wouldn't take her back if she wanted me to because she NEEDS that time to herself. I do also.
I do know that I love her enough that I will try and deal with her mother, and by that time I'll be living out there so she can't get all upset for me living so far away from her.
I thank you for saying all that, it really has helped and I'm glad you posted it.

[Snibbles]

Dude, no offense, but in that "up to a year" time, she is going to forget about you and move on to another guy. And yeah, to me it seems that her mother is not the one that hates you, but maybe an excuse for something else?

Yeah, and same deal about the church. Not since I was a kid.

[whitedragon20na]

if you think about it, how many people forget about people they fell in love with? you don't just forget that kind of thing.

[whitedragon20na]

this is an email that she sent out to all her friends (not including me though)

Hello everyone,
Im sure you all knew about me dating (in a way) that guy from Colorado.
Well, I thought I would let you all know that we broke up. There were a lot
of bad things going on and I just needed to end it. Im having a real hard
time with it but I am trying to see the bright side of it all.
Thanks for trying to be there for me. I really appreciate it!!
Well, I have things to do today. Talk to you all later. Have a wonderful 4th
of July if I don't talk to you.

With all my love,
Melissa

[Tone]

Okay.





________________

[LoveForever]

Okay, I just split up with my boyfriend a while ago because of distance. He didn't want to, but his mom didn't think it was healthy. It'll be okay. If you guys are meant to be together than it'll happen. Don't try to push it. As for your sign's from "god", well, I'm not much for the belief with those types of things, but if it's giving you hope then good for you. Since you are in love with her and she reciprocates those feelings than it'll be really hard to not be together. You can't do anything about how she feels though. If she doesn't want for the relationship to continue you'll have to move on sadly.

[shh!]

HAHHAHAHHAA! This thread is funny! (Aren't dragons associated with the devil and black magic?) I love these people that think that God has nothing better to do than manipulate their love lives! So entertaining! HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

[whaywardj]

And sad.

(10)

[whitedragon20na]

who said that dragons are associated with the devil & black magic? the only reference to God I made was a good one, because I believe that he has a plan for us all and everything will work out for the better. I believe he sent me a sign, and if that's what it takes to 'keep my chin up' at this most difficult time of my life, then so be it. all I know is that she wants her time and I'm going to give it to her and in time she'll come back to me, if it happens to be just as a friend.

[shh!]

And if she doesn't come back, will God then tell you to hunt her down like a dog?

[whaywardj]

White -- Your signature is at serious variance with your stated faith. Might want to look into that. In fact, on reading it again, I see that your signature is at serious variance with itself.

[whitedragon20na]

nope. I'll let her be and move on. that's part of life and I've been through it once before with her, I think I can make it again.
however I do believe that she'll come back because I know she cares about me and she values my friendship, she just needs time.

[whaywardj]

White -- Your signature is at serious variance with your stated faith. Might want to look into that. In fact, on reading it again, I see that your signature is at serious variance with itself.