Same girl broke my heart twice. (because of her mother) need answer to a question.

[Tone]

You mean she told you what you want to hear.

Tone - just so you know, I'm saying this to keep myself up and to keep from totally breaking down. it's keeping me from hurting so much.

Might I suggest you take a different approach... cause I really think you are setting yourself up to be extremely disappointed and more hurt when it doesn't happen. I mean who knows, you guys might end up back together and that would be wonderful... but what if you don't... you'll be even more crushed, it will feel like getting dumped all over again.

So rather than take the "Everything will be okay (cause it WILL, trust me) and we'll be back together" think of it as "Everything will be okay, I learned a lesson, I HAVE to move on". You can be open to getting back together with her, but save yourself the pain later on if it doesn't happen. There are TONS of great girls out there, don't hang yourself up over one who dumped you. Don't think that creating this false future of you 2 getting back together and living happily ever after is the only way to keep yourself cheered up and out of pain.

[whitedragon20na]

Well, all I know at this point is my best friend just gave me the best advice I could have gotten in this situation.
She knows the whole story, from begining to end and knows us both well enough to give that advice.
she knows us both and said that if it continues like this it's just going to be an on again off again relationship and that I'll go through this every time we break up...
she said that with the time apart, we should both get some counselling, which Melissa already is and then IF we get back together to get couples therapy.

[Tone]

Yeah and I bet if I told you "whitedragon don't worry she will come running back to you in no time! You guys will get together, I mean, how can you not after the QUARTER TOLD YOU SO!! My advice to you would be save yourself for her!! Hold onto her and you get ready little buddy cause she's going to be yours again faster than you can say 'aint that a sumofabitch'" you would go around and say "This internet person just gave me the best possible advice I could have gotten in this situation!" too?

I think your friend is just telling you what she knows you want to hear since you're so sad about it, to spare your feelings... I'm just trying to be straight up and honest with you now and save you a lot more grief later on if things don't work out.

[whaywardj]

WHOA! Did I just see "restraining order"? Tone -- you might be right. Stalker in the making.

[Tone]

hahaha I know right!

BTW just curious white - but this person that gave you that great advice and knows the relationship best - did her voice come from inside your head? Just curious.

[whitedragon20na]

let's say that right now, I still do want her back in the future but with my mind running through everything, I've yet realized more again.
Hey, she's gone and right now there's nothing I can do to make sure I get her back. She broke up with me, she didn't want me. I was relying on her to make sure my life was going to work out, that was bad, I need to make sure my life is going to be okay before I get into a relationship again with anyone.
I've got my friends, I've got my music, I've got my hobbies, I've got so much and I just need to build on that without her, then if she ever does talk to me again, she'll see what she gave up and I think by then I'll be able to tell her, "I'm not going to let you put me through that again."

[whaywardj]

::cruel, Tone. cruel.:: lol.

[Tone]

I know, I'm mean =/

[whitedragon20na]

hey, I don't care that you said that. It really was my best friend, who's name is Beca and she lives in IL, and she is how Melissa and I met. she gave me advice and I began to realize that she's right, if we were to get back together that it would just happen over and over again. so f*** relationships, f*** her, she broke up with me, she didn't want me, there's nothing I can do about that. I'm just going to live my life the best I can and maybe later in life I'll meet someone who I'll be able to say is better for me than Melissa.

[whaywardj]

Uh...other than what someone theirself might offer, I'm not sure I care to know any names or locations, actually.

[Asip4u]

whay, Tone...LOL...

so f*** relationships, f*** her, she broke up with me, she didn't want me, there's nothing I can do about that

That's the spirit, soldier!

[Tone]

Wow. You went from attached, creepy, obsessive, stalker to "**** her and **** relationships" pretty quick.

Although I'm glad you're opening up to moving on and getting things right with yourself to be ready to have relationships with other girls.

[whaywardj]

In all seriousness, White, it's gonna be a roller coaster ride for awhile. Wait at least 48 hours before you decide to act on ANYTHING you might feel. Then, if you decide to act on it, wait ANOTHER 48 hours. Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's real. Mystical quarters notwithstanding.

[whitedragon20na]

forget the quarter, if anything I'm taking it as a sign that there's someone out there who's better for me, that I need to stop wallowing over someone who DIDN'T WANT me and thought I wasn't good enough for her.

[Asip4u]

forget the quarter, if anything I'm taking it as a sign that there's someone out there who's better for me, that I need to stop wallowing over someone who DIDN'T WANT me and thought I wasn't good enough for her.

Is this for real? Say what you mean, mean what you say. Don't play around, you might go cuckoo.