I upset my girlfriend with stupidity

[Simpo]

Last night Me and my girlfriend and a couple of friends went out on a double date. We had an awesome time and my girlfriend was looking really hot and wearing some shorts that really showed off her legs. A couple times she told me to feel how smooth her legs were and when I run my hand along them it was kind of turning me on. After we had finished the date I took my girlfriend back to her flat and possibly did the worst thing possible. Note that I had been flirting and complimenting her all through the night and paid for her meal and other things. She basically said "you should get home since you have work tomorrow" (11:00 at night and had 30min drive home) but I basically said "Can't we go into yours and have sex?" or something along those lines WTF was I thinking!!!

At this point she got really upset with me and looked pissed off and pretty much stormed out my car and straight into her flat without even a second look. I text her once I got home saying how sorry I was and that I am a dick for saying what I did but still haven't heard from her.

Don't get me wrong, I am clearly in the wrong here and got mixed signals but not sure how to make it up to her. I am trying to give her some space but at the same time want to tell her how sorry I am and that I am not just using her for sex which I'm clearly not since I love her more than anything.

Note: We've been together 6 months, had sex before and only reason I asked was because she looked hot and if im totally honest I was a bit horny

[searock]

I don't understand what you did wrong. The only thing I can think of is lack of subtlety. Maybe she got upset because she felt like you only went out with her in order to get sex in the end (it would annoy me too, especially after 6 months and not 6 days or something).

[surfhb2]

Yeah....maybe your were a little uncouth but Lack of subtlety or not, your GF is a bitch for acting this way. Leave her now before it gets worse.

Unless Im missing some important info I dont know what you did wrong?

[Simpo]

Yea, subtlety went straight out the window and under a bus tbh. I think I asked

Me: "Can we go back to yours?"
Her: "You not want to go home its quite late?"
Me: "No, I would like to go to yours"
Her: "Well it is really late, is there much point?"
Me: "I wouldn't stay long just an hour"
Her: "Nah, no point"
Me: "But I really dont mind going to yours"
Her: "You want sex don't you"
Me: "Kind of, you look really hot"

Then she went silent and looked pissed off, I pulled up and then she just got out and never said a word.

The whole point in going out was to meet up with a friend I haven't seen for a while. It was an awesome night and had a great laugh, but as soon as I took her back to hers it went bad. I personally thought sex would kind of complete the night and make it an awesome night but I obviously thought wrong.
She text me saying she wanted to see me tonight but no sex so I can't really blame her but at the same time it sucks

I have a feeling that one of her previous relationships, her boyfriend did kind of just use her for sex and she was really involved with him and it was going on for 9 months until he revealed that he had been sleeping around for the last 2 months of that relationship.

[michelle23]

6 months together and she is withholding sex? Need more info here please? Are you an official couple? Are you exclusive? When did you first have sex? How often do you have sex? Does she make you feel guilty every time? Are you afraid to make a move on her in general encase she reacts badly? How many times a week to you see her?

[searock]

Here's how the conversation would have gone between me and my boyfriend:

Him: "Can we go back to yours?"
Me: "You don't want to go home, it's quite late?"
Him: "No, I would like to go to yours"
Me: "You want to have sex, don't you? :-)"
Him: *kisses me and nods with a smile*
Me: *kisses back and laughs* "Let's go then :-)"

With my ex boyfriend, it would have gone the same way you described. I didn't really want to have sex with him most of the times because he would *always* push for it. Do you always push for sex, i.e., do you want to have sex EVERY TIME you see each other?

I think the issues she had with her previous boyfriend are getting in the way of this relationship. She needs to realize that you are not the same jerk that she used to date. I don't think the problem is you.

[michelle23]

^^^ so what if he wants sex with her? seriously? id be worried if my man didn't push for it-not that he needs to coz hes well taken care of.

OP sex shouldnt be an issue at all. You should be at it like rabbits, your both young and in love and its obvious you are not using her. Sex is part of a healthy relationship and if she makes you feel guilty about it-she is not worth it. Shell crush your self-esteem, make you feel like some sort of perve and in general just f**k you up coz she acts as if the problem is you. It isnt you. Your crazy about her and you think shes hot. Its only natural to want to bang her as much as possible.

I think the problem is her

[HeartIsAching]

Agreed... so what, dude?

Agree with Michelle and Surfhb - there's something seriously wrong here, and it ain't you.

[FlaCooln]

Simpo, you did nothing wrong. You could have been a bit more subtle, but honestly 6 months together and you guys have already had sex I don't see the issue with what you said.

I basically did the same thing the other day to my GF of a little over a month. I got off work early and we were going to meet for lunch during her lunch break. I asked her if she would want to meet at the lunch spot to eat or for me to pick it up and bring lunch to her house. She asked what would I prefer? and I said hers, she said great me too. Basically, she knew I wanted sex. I knocked on her door and wammo great sex, then lunch. Thats the way its suppose to be.

You shouldn't have to beat around the bush and shyly or in around about way ask for sex. I can come to hers after getting off work (she sometimes makes me dinner) and by the way I kiss her she knows whether I want sex before or after dinner. Funny thing is though she warned me that if I kiss her like that I better be ready for sex right then and dinner will have to wait...lol. Good thing my GF is just as horny as I am.

[HeartIsAching]

^^^'zackly.

There is no subtlety between my wife and I... I said "Baby, I'm horny"... or I do.

[michelle23]

^^ haha same here. Im never subtle about it. Neither is he. sex is part of the deal and a great part at that

[searock]

^^^ so what if he wants sex with her? seriously? id be worried if my man didn't push for it-not that he needs to coz hes well taken care of.

That's the point - he shouldn't have to push for sex. If he is pushing for sex, it means they are not sexually compatible.

I think the problem is her

Me too, that's what I said. He is not the problem, she and her previous boyfriend issues are.

[basilandthyme]

Agree that Simpo did nothing wrong. Girlfriend sounds like a game-playing tease to me.

And lack of subtlety isn't a crime: "are you horny?" generally works for me.

[smackie9]

Your GF acted like a twit and you could have shown more tact ....oh well things will cool off and you two will be lovey dovey in no time.

[smackie9]

Tact or Tactful: 1. a sense of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others, so as to avoid giving offence or to win good will; discretion