should i dump my girlfriend or talk it out?

**clintbow** · 31-05-13, 12:18 AM

well i stayed at my girlfriends last night and there's a guy she slept with before me who still texts her. she said that last week he texted her wanting her to come over to get together. she said she said no but for some reason her answers didnt match up

so this morning she was getting ready for work and her phone was laying by me. now i don't wanna be that guy that can't trust his girlfriend because i do trust her but well i checked the texts and after he said "lets get together" she said " get at me when your single "

i of course flipped out. she was upset i looked through her phone which i understand but i couldnt believe she actually siad that to him. she said "did i cheat on you? no!" but i said "it sure made it seem like you wanted to"

she said she understand i'm mad and that i should be upset with her

i really don't know what to do

should i talk it out with her or just dump her?

**michelle23** · 31-05-13, 12:29 AM

if it were me it would be over. that is red flag number 1. I wouldn't wait around for anymore

**Emereldess** · 31-05-13, 12:34 AM

I hate to say it but.. You know how she said "get at me when I'm single."? That right there would have done me in. Is she expecting to become single while she is with you? Something is not adding up here for me either. I wish you luck!

**stev123** · 31-05-13, 12:43 AM

dump her she is a sloot.

**clintbow** · 31-05-13, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by Emereldess

I hate to say it but.. You know how she said "get at me when I'm single."? That right there would have done me in. Is she expecting to become single while she is with you? Something is not adding up here for me either. I wish you luck!

she siad "get at me when your single

" meaning him

**Emereldess** · 31-05-13, 12:57 AM

Yes, and therefore that would make me end it right there. How much commitment do the two of you have together? She sounds as though it doesn't matter if you are there or not.. That is what bothers me. I don't know you and I don't know her so perhaps I am mis-reading the situation? But if my boyfriend did something like that to me, it would have ended right there. You cannot trust someone who does not trust your relationship to last, do you know what I mean?

**Emereldess** · 31-05-13, 12:58 AM

OH! Sorry sorry I just re read that for like the tenth time, and that is even worse! Run and don't look back... Sorry to say it but yeah she is not trustworthy at all..

**clintbow** · 31-05-13, 01:00 AM

Originally Posted by Emereldess

OH! Sorry sorry I just re read that for like the tenth time, and that is even worse! Run and don't look back... Sorry to say it but yeah she is not trustworthy at all..

it sucks..i mean she has told me point blank she loves me and cares about me yet she cant tell this guy to leave her alone?

**Emereldess** · 31-05-13, 01:09 AM

Here's a possible option, if you really want to stay with her:

You tell her that you will get over this and be happy with her again as long as she; sits down right beside you, and sends a text to this guy in plain view for you to see, saying that she AND you are not comfortable with him texting her anymore, and that from hereon it stops. Stay with her for at least a couple hours so you can be there to catch his response to it and advise her again on a closure text if need be.

You probably think that's crazy, and yes I can understand why. But if she truly loves you(?) she will do it for you, and it will settle your mind lots. Perhaps just bring up this idea and see what her reaction to it is?

**Emereldess** · 31-05-13, 01:10 AM

If you do take my suggestion, make sure YOUR name is included. I realize it sounds like you are stamping your territory, but in this case I think it is acceptable, no? You basically want to deter him from bothering her again.

**smackie9** · 31-05-13, 01:22 AM

Me personally wouldn't tolerate the fact they are still communicating.....they still are...that means she isn't 100% committed to being in a relationship to you. You shouldn't have to demand, request or ask for her to stop talking with this guy....she should know she shouldn't be in the first place. Your mistake was that since you already knew she was still talking to this guy, you shouldn't have made her your GF

There is nothing wrong with having your own standars or expectations....if she doesn't fulfill them, you have every right to decide to terminate the relationship.

**smackie9** · 31-05-13, 01:23 AM

Originally Posted by clintbow

it sucks..i mean she has told me point blank she loves me and cares about me yet she cant tell this guy to leave her alone?

Actions speak louder than words.....

**clintbow** · 31-05-13, 01:38 AM

obviously it was wrong for me to go through her phone but her blaming it on me? saying i wouldnt have known if i didnt snoop? wow

**clintbow** · 31-05-13, 04:05 AM

Originally Posted by sanctionary

Look i have to take both you sides, I think her response was a jab at him, like "**** you you are in a relationship don't be a pig" but the way she phrased it is WRONG and you have a very real right to be upset.

I don't really know how well you two communicate but definitely at least attempt to talk it out.

so i talked to her...she said it was wrong and she should have told me and that she did consider it but she didnt and she does love me and wants to be with me

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 31-05-13, 04:05 AM

Her response was nothing like what you said. It was nothing short of an invitation.

Dump her. If you really got balls, cheat on her, then tell her about it, then dump her.

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