"too jealous" is a bad thing - what about not being jealous at all?

[michelle23]

*I* don't bat an eyelash at a sexual advance from another man towards my wife... why should I? I KNOW where her interests lie, I TRUST HER. If a guy makes an advance, I take it as a *personal* compliment as well as one towards my wife. Yep, she's cute. She's devoted to me, why should I worry?!

I know for a fact that if a man walked up to my wife - any man, and said "I'll give you a million dollars to sleep with you." she'd say no. I know that because I trust her.

If a stranger in a bar grabbed her ass or tried to force her to kiss him, what would you do? My bf would kick his ass

[HeartIsAching]

If a stranger in a bar grabbed her ass or tried to force her to kiss him, what would you do? My bf would kick his ass

If a stranger in a bar grabbed her ass, she'd slap him. If he tried to force her to do ANYTHING, I'd knock his punk-ass out.

[dem862]

Do you people really condone violence? I worked in a jail and I saw a number of men who went to violent extremes for a woman. The sad part was, the woman wouldn't even take their calls after they were incarcerated.

I wouldn't take a woman to a bar in the first place.

[michelle23]

I wouldn't take a woman to a bar in the first place.

sexist much????

[dem862]

sexist much????

It has nothing to do with sexism. I don't go to bars either. It just isn't my idea of a good time.

[michelle23]

It has nothing to do with sexism. I don't go to bars either. It just isn't my idea of a good time.

ok fair enough sorry.

[dickriculous]

Do you people really condone violence? I worked in a jail and I saw a number of men who went to violent extremes for a woman.

I can't speak for everyone else but I consider women to be a stupid reason for men to fight. Not surprisingly, they are among the most common reasons for men to fight.

The only way I would ever get violent over my girl is if I had no other choice but to throw myself in harm's way in order to protect her - as in she's in real danger and the only way I can get her out of danger is with my fists. Resorting to violence for any reason other than that just makes you a dumbass. Sorry but if you'd risk giving yourself a criminal record because some guy did something that made you jealous it doesn't tell me anything about you as a boyfriend other than you need to get your shit together.

And like I said, the farthest I've ever had to go was telling a guy that I'm her bf. There were no consequences to this of any kind, and it was the easiest solution to a problem I've ever had. I'm curious as to how anyone would justify the notion that assaulting him would've been a better solution.

[confusednow]

Its prob different as you get older. You learn to be more rational I assume. However, young men my age-would punch anyone in the face if they upset his girl *most anyway* Id hate my bf to get in a fight over me but at the same time Id be like "wow hes so passionate about me"

[dem862]

Its prob different as you get older. You learn to be more rational I assume. However, young men my age-would punch anyone in the face if they upset his girl *most anyway* Id hate my bf to get in a fight over me but at the same time Id be like "wow hes so passionate about me"

And you would be equally passionate about serving his six months of imprisonment for assault and battery, since the fight was "over you", correct? Actually, that kind of response from a male usually has more to do with his own ego being bruised than about passion.

[lalalita]

Can I ask you? Does he have a good relationship with his family? Especially his mum and other female relatives? Does he like animals and children? Does he respect women or did he used to sleep around a lot? Does he have a close group of male friends or is he a loner?
Good luck

He has an absentee Father, but he is very close with his Mother and Aunt. He also has much younger sisters, which whom he is *very* protective. He is wonderful with children and one of the most respectful men I have ever met. The amount of respect he has for woman astounds me every day. He's definitely one of those men who was brought up putting women on a pedestal. He's an all around great guy who would make a great Husband/Father.

He's a very "peaceful" person, if you will. We've been involved for almost a year and I've never seen him loose his temper or even come close.

- - -

For the sake of the post -

Any of the advances that I have informed him about, have been men who just don't take "no" for an answer. I suppose I was turning to him to "handle the mater", since in past relationships this is how it was usually handled.

He's made comments that "There's a million things I could do...but we won't go there." He is a trained UFC fighter, and when he was younger, he was definitely more hot headed and "wild" from what I've heard.

I'm not expecting him to "go after" someone, but it makes me uncomfortable when he reacts in such an...unreactive way. I would feel a lot better if he even just said "He said what to you? He needs to leave you alone or I'm going to need to speak to him."

[Wakeup]

He has an absentee Father, but he is very close with his Mother and Aunt. He also has much younger sisters, which whom he is *very* protective. He is wonderful with children and one of the most respectful men I have ever met. The amount of respect he has for woman astounds me every day. He's definitely one of those men who was brought up putting women on a pedestal. He's an all around great guy who would make a great Husband/Father.

He's a very "peaceful" person, if you will. We've been involved for almost a year and I've never seen him loose his temper or even come close.

- - -

For the sake of the post -

Any of the advances that I have informed him about, have been men who just don't take "no" for an answer. I suppose I was turning to him to "handle the mater", since in past relationships this is how it was usually handled.

He's made comments that "There's a million things I could do...but we won't go there." He is a trained UFC fighter, and when he was younger, he was definitely more hot headed and "wild" from what I've heard.

I'm not expecting him to "go after" someone, but it makes me uncomfortable when he reacts in such an...unreactive way. I would feel a lot better if he even just said "He said what to you? He needs to leave you alone or I'm going to need to speak to him."

My goodness you live in the US of A where women are their own person, where women don't expect "their men" to fight their battles or get into fights over them period... at least not the mature and put together one's don't expect that. Now if your wellbeing were in jeapardy, then certainly we would hope that he would step up to the plate to defend us.

You have a peculiar mindset about what role your bf should be taken IMNSHO. Its up to you to shut these men down so that they DO take no for an answer. PERIOD. There is no such thing as 'they wouldn't take no for an answer' unless you're dealing with an harassing, stalker.

[confusednow]

And you would be equally passionate about serving his six months of imprisonment for assault and battery, since the fight was "over you", correct? Actually, that kind of response from a male usually has more to do with his own ego being bruised than about passion.

that makes sense i suppose. ive never expected a man to rescue me or anything. i can fight my own battles and well able to say no on my own and even slap him if necessary but i do think its normal for a guy to be protective and even a little possessive if hes in love. women are too. its natural instinct to hold onto your mate and get rid of the competition. dinasours fought to the death to protect his mate and they were monogamous creatur-apparantly they behaved a lot like humans with family being the no. 1 priority which is why they survived for so long. same as wolves

[Wakeup]

I have a feeling of deja vu

[basilandthyme]

that makes sense i suppose. ive never expected a man to rescue me or anything. i can fight my own battles and well able to say no on my own and even slap him if necessary but i do think its normal for a guy to be protective and even a little possessive if hes in love. women are too. its natural instinct to hold onto your mate and get rid of the competition. dinasours fought to the death to protect his mate and they were monogamous creatur-apparantly they behaved a lot like humans with family being the no. 1 priority which is why they survived for so long. same as wolves

What's the point in debating *normal*? If you are happy with how he is, then stay with him. If his lack of jealousy bothers you a lot, then dump him. It's really that simple.

[dickriculous]

Its prob different as you get older. You learn to be more rational I assume. However, young men my age-would punch anyone in the face if they upset his girl *most anyway* Id hate my bf to get in a fight over me but at the same time Id be like "wow hes so passionate about me"

I'm in my 20's and I still wouldn't risk giving myself a criminal record just to make you horny