your definition of cheating??

[confusednow]

no it began over 6months ago. i asked michelle for advice and shes beenreally helpful trying to reassure me too. she recommended i get more advice off others just to get different perspectives

[stev123]

*looks for No. 6 Cast Iron frying pan* lol

Ah yes, run back to the kitchen eh?

[sparklypandaz97]

my definition of cheating is when you sneak around and sleep or make out with the other person. a quick peck on the cheek could mean nothing. they could be a cousin you never know. a hug is nothing thats what you give your friends

[confusednow]

in general we have a great relationship, get on really well, communicate effectively, resolve issues quickly, lots of great sex-loads of affection, intimacy, we make each other laugh, have the same morals and values and life goals. we really are a great team, best friends, closer than two people can get. everyone always says they can see us getting married and having a family. i can see it too. i think i love him too much and i think thats the only thing that could split us up-cheating an thats prob y it scares me so much.

we have a dog and when the 3 of us are curled up on the couch it really feels like we are a proper family lol. hed love to have a baby but right now were not in a good enough place financially and im not emotionally so i gotta work on my issues before we do anything like that

[Wakeup]

Ah yes, run back to the kitchen eh?

lolzz, Touche.

Confusednow: I suggest you stop reading stuff that fuels your fears and rather start reading stuff that will get you over your fear of separation because basically, i think anyway, is exactly what you have. You're afraid that someone or something is going to cause you to have to separate from your boyfriend.

Here are some links about separation anxiety. See if it resonates with you. Sometimes knowing what ails us is the key to getting over it.

http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/types/adult-separation-anxiety

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443995604578002352537833908.html

[confusednow]

i think im just overwhelmed, prob scared to lose him and worrying about all the ways that could happen. im not scared of pain though or heartbreak. i know i can survive it so its weird. i cant explain it

[stev123]

Confusednow: I suggest you stop reading stuff that fuels your fears and rather start reading stuff that will get you over your fear of separation because basically, i think anyway, is exactly what you have. You're afraid that someone or something is going to cause you to have to seperate from your boyfriend

pretty much this.

[confusednow]

thanks wakeup

[dem862]

I would say you have an irrational fear. This is properly classified along with the anxiety behaviors. I believe cognitive behavioral therapy is the selected method for dealing with it. Sometimes there are peer-support groups in a community, you might look for one of these in your area. You should look for a support group that deals with anxiety. You need to be constantly challenged on your irrational fears, and develop coping mechanisms to deal with them on your own. If you are overly dependent on your boyfriend (or any single person), it might become overwhelming for them.

[Wakeup]

thanks wakeup

I added another link, CN.

[confusednow]

thanks for all your help everyone. any more ideas more than welcome

[stev123]

thanks for all your help everyone. any more ideas more than welcome

Go and spend time with your boyfriend and get off here :p

[smackie9]

Feeling this way for 6 months isn't healthy.......how about communicating openly with your BF about it might help release this anxiety.

[confusednow]

ive already done that and feel better right now. just afraid something else will trigger ocd and ill start resrarching again like a nutcase.

his friend is working abroad and came home yesterday and was telling us what some of his married colleagues get up to out there. thats what triggered me today and i started researching like crazy again

[lalalita]

To me, cheating is anything you would not be comfortable doing *IN FRONT OF* your partner.