your definition of cheating??

[confusednow]

Okay, so if I'm in a relationship and she's not around and I jack off to porn is that cheating...honestly? Or if I flirt with other women just for the fun of it, is that cheating? Please I think you're nice Michelle, but I guess something must have happened to cause you to be this insecure, did you just break up or something?

im not her. dont no y u think that? iv bin feeling insecure for awhile. i guess i just dont want to lose him
id consider the flirtin cheatin but not jacking off

[stev123]

im not her. dont no y u think that? iv bin feeling insecure for awhile. i guess i just dont want to lose him
id consider the flirtin cheatin but not jacking off

I think you need to let that go, It's human nature to have a bit of fun. But it's all down to your partner, and when someones cheated - you will know believe me.
Do yourself a favor, don't be so up into feminism and whatever, focus on yourself and only give time to guys who are decent, there's always someone out there for us and there's no need to get depressed about it, and make threads like this
which only reek of insecurity.

Having a serious relationship with someone and flirting with someone is fine, taking my cock and shoving it into her vagina is a completely different thing.

[confusednow]

i dont agree that flirting is ok. i think that would upset most people and its kinda keepin ur options open. but evryting else you said makes sense so thank you. i know i gotta let this go. right now im workin in a petrol station for min wage so i cant realy afford counselling but im workin on getting a better job. i have a degree in business so just need to focus on that for now and hopefully i can get one or 2 sessions - they would prob help me a lot right now

[stev123]

i dont agree that flirting is ok. i think that would upset most people and its kinda keepin ur options open. but evryting else you said makes sense so thank you. i know i gotta let this go. right now im workin in a petrol station for min wage so i cant realy afford counselling but im workin on getting a better job. i have a degree in business so just need to focus on that for now and hopefully i can get one or 2 sessions - they would prob help me a lot right now

can you just admit you're michelle, it's pretty obvious you know.

[confusednow]

im really not her i swear. i just came here a few weeks ago for advice. i dont know where else to turn. all this is really getting me down. michelle doesnt have any trust issues (she doesnt come across that way anyhow) she sounds pretty secure and confident to me thats y i confided in her coz im such a mess right now and she just seemed to know her stuff. shes given me a ton of advice. weve been private mailing back and forth for 2weeks we agree on lots of things and i just find that support helpful rite now coz i dont want family or friends to no how i feel

[UnderTheMoon]

thank you for ur response. its good to know someone shares my view on things. i no its irrational and its all in my head. i dont no how to get bac to normal and feel like me again. i hate worrying so much and bein paranoid. i was never like this before. i got some really good advice from michelle. i pm her 2 or 3 weeks ago and she said something like we cant control what others around us do, we can only control our own behaviour and if someone hurts us, we can hold our heads high coz we aint done nothing wrong and just walk away and find someone better which makes a lot of sense. im not afraid of getting hurt. its living a lie that scares me and not knowing the truth. i can handle pain-just dont wana be lied to

We all hate being lied to, putting our trust in someone completely, and then being devastated, I know because it's happened to me and MANY others. That's where you get the understanding that no one is perfect and you never put someone on a pedestal. My girlfriend was 8 months pregnant and told me on my birthday that she found out her boyfriend cheated on her the week before and I sat there consoling a soon to be mother who was heartbroken on that betrayal. I told her this though, and what he did was beyond repair to many, I told her do you stay because of baby or do you stay because you still love and want him to remain a part of your life? Or do you leave still being strong and yourself and carry on? I mean I told her, from what she said to me that he honestly made a mistake, that he had a selfish moment and was scared and of course he can never make that up, but if you want to be with someone, and they want to make it up to you, and earn that trust back then fine, if you can forgive, then do it, if you can't then move on. I couldn't forgive that, but she decided she could and that's been over a year ago. The fact why I understood what she did though, was because he was HONEST with her despite what he did, he came and told her because she deserved the truth. We can all say, "if he did love you, then he wouldn't have done it to begin with." But sometimes we do things that we don't even understand why we do it ourselves. We error because we are so human and forget to care for our fragile selves. I think he is still a good guy to be honest with you, I have a hard time trusting him for her too but he is good, and he carries the weight of his deed every day as he should. He treats her the same and from what im told, they talk about it sometimes without fighting and just as I said, he didn't know why he did it, he just did, no lame excuse for it, and she accepts that as is. I know though I wouldn't forgive, me and baby would have left and never looked back. Period, but I guess you have to be the better person and do some soul searching to decide that kind of thing. Everyone is different.

[confusednow]

ya id leave too 100%. i couldnt deal with that. but good luck to your friend