im glad i stayed with her

[clintbow]

i made a thread few days ago about my girlfriend texting a guy that seemed like she was considering cheating on me

well i decided to stay with her and im glad i did. we talked it out and lats night we got together and everything was great.she truly does love me and i'm happy with her. i wanna say thanks for the help, and it wasnt easy but im glad i made the right decision

[Wakeup]

Well, I'm glad your glad! One question though (so that you have better odds of staying together) What boundaries have you and her put in place, Clint: Is she still chatting with the guy she boinked or has she said she'll stop all that flirting with the guy and cut off contact?

[clintbow]

Well, I'm glad your glad! One question though (so that you have better odds of staying together) What boundaries have you and her put in place, Clint: Is she still chatting with the guy she boinked or has she said she'll stop all that flirting with the guy and cut off contact?

well i didnt set any boundaries. to be honest she never contacts him first, he always texts her, and its not like an everyday thing

for instance when i looked through her phone he had texted her like 1 day a week. i felt putting boundaries would show i dont trust her when i do plus she has 100% trust in me. i have had girls text me and she never gets upset

[lalalita]

Not to put a bee in your bonnet, but if she was well aware that you didn't like her talking to him, she could have very easily deleted the majority of the text messages to make It seem like they don't talk much before showing you.

Without boundaries, this will happen again eventually. Whether it be with him, or someone else.

[smackie9]

well i didnt set any boundaries. to be honest she never contacts him first, he always texts her, and its not like an everyday thing

for instance when i looked through her phone he had texted her like 1 day a week. i felt putting boundaries would show i dont trust her when i do plus she has 100% trust in me. i have had girls text me and she never gets upset

Remember the boundaries that you set are the ones that you are to follow as well so it's not about trust, this is about respect. All you are doing is letting off the hook....since there hasn't been any consequences for her actions, she is going to see you are a push over and knows she will get away with it again.

[smackie9]

**You should be firmly asking her why she has a need to have this guy contacting her. She's giving you the switch around by saying he contacts her first....so what...it's the fact she is still letting him do it AND she is still responding to him. Ask her why she needs this guy to be still in her life....what purpose? Just in case your relationship takes a dive?

[michelle23]

OP she likes the attention. i was goin out with a guy when i was 18- after i dumped him hed text me at least once a month. hed start off just being friendly, then ask am i seeing anyone, then wonder if we could get back together. it was always the same conversation and always the same answer "NO" i was too nice to just tell him f**k off. anyway when i met my bf-my ex continued to text me sometimes and in the end i did tell him to f**k off and got a new number.

if she wanted to get rid of him, she would have. trust me

[amandabrooke]

^completely agree. if her mind was only on you, she wouldn't even want to deal with this guy. he's not just a friend. she has history with him. she should be concerned with how her continued contact with this guy is coming between you and her, causing problems in your relationship. if she really respected you and this relationship, she would stop. have you point blank asked her to stop talking to him? if she refuses, this is a huge red flag.

[klink]

The question is: How does she have that guy phone number in the first place?