Is it normal to miss him so much?

[kkm7]

So it's been about 4 months since my ex boyfriend and I broke up. We were dating for 7 years and we are both 21 now. I was such a mess for the first three months. I tried getting my ex back within the second month. I got rejected again. I cried so much to the point where I couldn't breath because the very next day he was talking to another girl. Fast forward to month 3, he is dating her. They are already exchanging "I love you's". When I found this all out, I felt another sting of rejection. Again, I was crying so hard that my family and friends couldn't get me off the floor until a few hours later. It's now been four months, and I cut off all contact telling him that I loved him but that I couldn't just sit and let him hurt me. I told him that it was time I loved myself and that I wished for his happiness in his new relationship(prior to telling him this, he would message me thoughtful songs and memories that we shared through facebook) His reasons for breaking up with me felt like excuses or random reasons to find a way to break up. He did so by picking at my flaws which I know I have. But I'm human and I'm not perfect. He said things like, "you're not beautiful", "you're not housewife material", etc.

It's been two weeks of NC. On the very day I decided to clean my house and room of all his belongings, he happened to call me the same night. I didn't pick up. I let it ring. Now, I feel a sort of regret for not picking it up because I miss him so much than I ever have before. I feel as though he doesn't even think of me. It's been so unbelievably hard. I sometimes cry out of nowhere just because I see something that reminds me of us. Is this normal to miss him so much and Why do I still have this hope that he'll come back even though I want to move on? I thought I was getting over him but I miss him so much since I cut off all contact for three weeks now.

[TablesandChairs]

Yes, it does get better! If you believe nothing else, believe that.

Here are some things you need to consider: You were with the guy for 7 years - you were 14 when you met so he's probably your first love. You're not going to get over that within days/weeks or a few months. It takes time and your reactions are pretty normal. When my first partner and I broke up (I was with him for 8 years, since I was a teenager), I was a mess for about 4-5 months. I didn't eat, lost a lot of weight, couldn't function properly...a combination of grief and depression. Looking back on it now, I can't believe I suffered so much for someone who wasn't really worth it. The whole relationships, now, is a distant memory. Sure, I remember the good things, but I also remember the bad.

Your boyfriend isn't treating you nicely. He's sending you 'memories' which is hurtful; he's dating someone else and probably likes that you're pining for him. He told you you're not 'beautiful' or housewife material (good for you) so the best revenge is proving him wrong. Wait for the pain to pass (it will) and when you start dating again, you'll realise there are better guys out there.

[oceansofpeople]

Ya it's normal. But love your self first before loving someone else. He's not the man for you.

[Ariel]

I feel for you, I really do. Seven years is a huge amount of time but it seems you were more emotionally invested in this relationship than him because he would not have moved on so quick otherwise - he actually sounds rather immature. More so when you consider his reasons for breaking up with you - how rude! Let me tell you this straight, he would not have dated you for seven years if you weren't beautiful to him. I think you honestly deserve way more respect than that - what a horrible and hurtful thing to say. It's going to be tough but we all experience heartbreak, having been through it several times I can promise you that the old-age 'time heals' is definitely true - you may not believe it right now but give it a few months and you will no doubt feel better, you will even reach a stage where you don't think about him any longer.

You need to live life. Be more social. Try dating. Nothing too heavy. It may be far too soon but one date here and there doesn't have to go anywhere. It'll be fun and distracting. And I feel it will build up your self-esteem after that horrid ex. And, you just never know where it may lead...!

[kkm7]

Thank You all. You all have given me such motivation to move forward. Everything you all have said has been what I have been needing to hear. This whole time i've been feeling guilty because he blames everything on me. That I was too abusive, ugly, flirtatious. But I tell you guys, I honestly don't think I did any of this. It does make me second guess myself....like maybe he's right. I am ugly. I am too friendly with other people. I just want to feel better again.