All of the sudden he rejects sex!?

[Kaetey]

I met a guy in Feb. It all started off as a sex-only thing and was well good, no complications etc.
In April I realised I had developed a bit of a crush and asked him how he felt and if there was potential for more - he wasn't sure blah blah. Ok, I got it - he didn't want more.
So, I said to him that a sex-only thing didn't work for me anymore and stopped contacting him.

He went on holiday and texted me from holiday - of course, I missed him and replied and we started texting back and forth again. I thought about it and I felt ready to see him again as my crush had calmed down a little. 6 weeks after he said he wasn't sure about a relationship we finally saw each other again last night.

We had a great evening (always got on well on a personal level!) and I took for granted that he'd stay over like we used to in the past and we'd have sex. Since he said 6 weeks ago that he wasn't ready for a relationship I assumed that we'd continue that same thing.

All of the sudden, however, he announces that he'd leave as he had to get up early. He asked me jokingly if I had a bike (as he lives a bit far) and I responded "no, but I have a bed" and he rejected the offer!!!!!! :-O

OK - so, I thought it was all on a "just-friends-level" and was kind of disappointed but then: HE ALL OF THE SUDDEN GIVES ME A KISS! And leaves....

I don't get it!! ??????????????????????????

Could a man please explain to me what this behaviour is supposed to mean? To me it just doesn't make sense!

Thank you, guys!

[basilandthyme]

In this context, it makes perfect sense: it means he's confused. You agreed to FWB. Then you wanted more, but he didn't so you said "no sex". Then you offered him sex. He doesn't know if you're coming or going. And he's scared of you getting feelings for him again if FWB starts up again. You didn't say what type of kiss it was, so I can't comment on that.

Honestly, it sounds like it's all gotten far too complicated. I suggest you move on and find yourself a proper boyfriend

[Kaetey]

oh no ( so it does make perfect sense?

I was kind of hoping with my female naivety that it might mean he slowly develops feelings for me

There's so much chemistry between us and the kiss was very romantic and full of feeling - nothing wild or sexual or just a kiss between friends....

Yes, I guess moving on is the best thing to do even though it's hard especially now that I'm left so confused....

Thanks for your response, basilandthyme!

[searock]

Well, he already told you that he doesn't want a relationship... It sounds like you still have feelings for him, so I suggest you tell him that it's best if you don't see each other anymore, unless it's to go on proper dates in view of a possible relationship. Otherwise it's just going to confuse him and hurt you.

[Kaetey]

yes, that's what I did but then he was the one who started contacting me again!

If he doesnt want a relationship - then why no sex, but this kiss???? That's what doesn't make sense to me.

If he was scared that I would fall for him then he could have just left without kissing me.

[searock]

When he contacted you again, he didn't say it was to start dating in view of a relationship with you. You should make sure that is what he wants, before you see him again.

[michelle23]

stop taking whatever scraps you can get from him. have some self-respect. grow a freaking backbone and stop being so damn easy. its your own fault hes not interested in you.

move on and in future dont bother with all this fwb bollox. its all or nothing. if you want his respect and want him to think your a catch-then you make the chase a little bit harder for him

girl you have a lot to learn

[basilandthyme]

yes, that's what I did but then he was the one who started contacting me again!

If he doesnt want a relationship - then why no sex, but this kiss???? That's what doesn't make sense to me.

If he was scared that I would fall for him then he could have just left without kissing me.

As you say, it was a kiss between friends. And friends frequently kiss when leaving.