Is this normal or is he a "player"?

[RJ2222222]

Hi Everyone--

I am hoping for your opinion about my situation.

My significant other is the perfect man in many ways--he's very intelligent, fun, great in bed (and I mean GREAT), has great taste in music, etc. We've been together a year and were friends for a year or so before that.

He is also very social and has a very large pool of friends, many of whom are female. I am typically not the jealous type, but he seems to have several very close relationships with a few of his female friends--two of whom he chats with online nearly every night. He also took a trip to Canada to visit one of them who lives there, though he assured me that they are just really good friends.

Now, part of me wants to believe him and trust that there is nothing "romantic" going on between him and these female friends, but another part of me thinks that it is not really "normal" for a man who is in a serious relationship with someone (me) to have this sort of extensive contact with other women. Am I being paranoid and jealous, or do you think that there is some truth to my suspicions? Is he a player or is the problem on my end (my inability to trust him fully)?

I am not sure why he would seek out further romance elsewhere as our sex life is completely hot and we have a lot of fun together. We are also very intellectually compatible and share the same political views. From all that I can see, he enjoys being with me and cares for me as much as I enjoy being with him and care for him.

However, I still have these nagging doubts and do not know what to think of his relationships with these other women.

[HeartIsAching]

Um... the trip to Canada... were you not allowed to go? If so... then you need to run the **** away.

[Wakeup]

I am not sure why he would seek out further romance elsewhere as our sex life is completely hot and we have a lot of fun together.

Well then I'll tell you why: Because players like to play and you could be bouncing off the chandelier thrice a day and he'd still want variety. By "variety" I mean in women, not positions or places to do it.

Call me unreasonable all you want but there is NO WAY IN HELL that my SO would be taking a trip to another city/town/country to see another woman without me happily by his side.

You, OP are what players are looking for. Someone who is too afraid to tell a guy that what he's doing is inappropriate and disrespectful to you and that if he goes, it's a deal breaker for you.

so.. ya, reread, HeartIsAching's post again.

"Is It Normal or is He A player" My vote is it's NOT normal and Yes, he is a player.

Question: How long have you been together?

[stev123]

Hi Everyone--

I am hoping for your opinion about my situation.

My significant other is the perfect man in many ways--he's very intelligent, fun, great in bed (and I mean GREAT), has great taste in music, etc. We've been together a year and were friends for a year or so before that.

He is also very social and has a very large pool of friends, many of whom are female. I am typically not the jealous type, but he seems to have several very close relationships with a few of his female friends--two of whom he chats with online nearly every night. He also took a trip to Canada to visit one of them who lives there, though he assured me that they are just really good friends.

Now, part of me wants to believe him and trust that there is nothing "romantic" going on between him and these female friends, but another part of me thinks that it is not really "normal" for a man who is in a serious relationship with someone (me) to have this sort of extensive contact with other women. Am I being paranoid and jealous, or do you think that there is some truth to my suspicions? Is he a player or is the problem on my end (my inability to trust him fully)?

I am not sure why he would seek out further romance elsewhere as our sex life is completely hot and we have a lot of fun together. We are also very intellectually compatible and share the same political views. From all that I can see, he enjoys being with me and cares for me as much as I enjoy being with him and care for him.

However, I still have these nagging doubts and do not know what to think of his relationships with these other women.

Sorry to be negative but guys don't really keep close 'female friends' unless they are really bad with women (which I doubt he is) or they want the thing in between their legs. But then again, there are exceptions, you know him better than us - but from a male perspective that's behavior you see in a guy who has lots of sexual partners.

[michelle23]

trust your gut instinct. that nagging feeling that wont go away is telling you something so listen to it.

everything you said would be a dealbreaker for me. you should dump him. id be running a mile