Feel nothing when kissing...

[Chrisso]

Hi, so I've recently been starting to sleep with one of my friends on a 'non-dating basis', I guess we are friends with benefits. I have a problem with kissing. I feel literally nothing from it while she absolutely loves it and says she gets the tingling feeling and warmth. The only time I have ever had that feeling was the first time I kissed. It was actually with this same friend years ago and we kissed for literally over an hour. I couldn't get enough of it, it felt amazing. But ever since then, I've never been able to get the feeling back. I just assumed that only your first time felt that way because it was new but apparently some people get the feeling with every kiss !

Because I don't get that nice feeling, it makes me a less passionate kisser. So my question is, what can I do to try and get that feeling back? CAN it come back?

[kristenjersey7]

Yes! Try tease kissing... about to but pull away, playfully kissing. Not a heavy kisd...plus ear playing at same time helps some people..good luck!

[Chrisso]

I think that may be part of the issue, not building up to kissing. We just get straight into it. I'll get her to slow things down next time and see how it goes

[Ariel]

It could just be because you are friends. This may be why the kissing doesn't incite any feelings of ardour on your part.

[W.E]

Quit porn and the feelings will return.

[smackie9]

Hi, so I've recently been starting to sleep with one of my friends on a 'non-dating basis', I guess we are friends with benefits. I have a problem with kissing. I feel literally nothing from it while she absolutely loves it and says she gets the tingling feeling and warmth. The only time I have ever had that feeling was the first time I kissed. It was actually with this same friend years ago and we kissed for literally over an hour. I couldn't get enough of it, it felt amazing. But ever since then, I've never been able to get the feeling back. I just assumed that only your first time felt that way because it was new but apparently some people get the feeling with every kiss !

Because I don't get that nice feeling, it makes me a less passionate kisser. So my question is, what can I do to try and get that feeling back? CAN it come back?

No it can't come back because years ago you were a stupid young kid that never kissed before and it was just new and exciting. You are not that kid anymore.

Go find someone else to sleep with, and stop leading this poor girl on....even tho you call this FWB, she is starting to have feelings for you.

[beetlesales]

Just imagine her lips are the opening of her vagee gee. Then go for it.

[4 ratties]

No it can't come back because years ago you were a stupid young kid that never kissed before and it was just new and exciting. You are not that kid anymore.

I disagree. I've wondered this question before too and people said this same
Thing, that you only feel it your first couple times. And yes I didn't feel it for years after the first time, but now I'm with my boyfriend of 9 months and I still get flutters in my stomach and a whoosh feeling when we make out. It is possible but u have to be highly attracted to that person and love them

[michelle23]

The reason she gets the tingling feeling is coz this is NOT just sex to her. She is developing feelings. If you are not interested in a relationship with this girl and just want to f**k her-I suggest you leave her alone and find someone else or you will hurt her

[Chrisso]

The reason she gets the tingling feeling is coz this is NOT just sex to her. She is developing feelings. If you are not interested in a relationship with this girl and just want to f**k her-I suggest you leave her alone and find someone else or you will hurt her

No it's just sex. She's looking for a boyfriend too and I've told her that once she finds someone to just let me know that it's over. We've been friends for over 7 years and now that we are having sex, things are still the same as always. It's actually working out pretty well and I made it clear to her that if either of us developed deeper feelings for the other, then it's time to end our fling. We know we won't end up being together and we're both fine with that. We still snuggle and everything but it isn't really leading to any deeper feelings since we already were good friends. If we had only been friends for like a year then it would definitely be different. She even told me she was glad we didn't do this earlier or else it would have been different and ruined things because we wouldn't have already been close.

But I agree that we can't keep doing this for months. If neither of us find someone in a few months, we'll probably stop just so it doesn't turn into an accidental relationship.

[michelle23]

whether you want to or not. sex makes you bond emotionally. You may not even realize it until you stop having sex and then become jealous, possessive about her new bf. Experience withdrawal, symptoms, start craving her..

It may not happen that way but most likely will. Just bear that in mind

[namemyname]

Hookers don't kiss their johns either.

Sex can be a very detached act, but for most people, kissing is pretty intimate.

You don't really care for this girl, nor are particularly attracted, so that's why you don't like kissing her.

Sticking it in her is like masturbation for you.

When you're with someone you care about and who actually turns you on, you'll enjoy kissing again.

[Chrisso]

I totally agree with you Michelle about becoming emotionally attached to her. I really, really liked her years ago but my 'lust' feelings for her have subsided a lot and now I love her as a friend more than anything. We both agreed to stop if it affects the friendship.

Hookers don't kiss their johns either.

Sex can be a very detached act, but for most people, kissing is pretty intimate.

You don't really care for this girl, nor are particularly attracted, so that's why you don't like kissing her.

Sticking it in her is like masturbation for you.

When you're with someone you care about and who actually turns you on, you'll enjoy kissing again.

I think you're right. Like I said before, we have a long history and I think the 'old me' still likes her but the 'current me' doesn't feel the same way. So I feel conflicted being with her. I think maybe I'm subconsciously trying to reignite my feelings for her through sex but they are either dead or coming back very, very slowly. She definitely isn't unattractive, lots of guys pay her attention so the 'not feeling anything when I kiss her' must be from a lack of deeper wanting of her.

[michelle23]

We both agreed to stop if it affects the friendship.

Dude your friendship is already over. You are having sex with her. Do you honestly think if both of you find a bf/gf that the two of you can just go back to being best friends? Dont be delusional. Once this f**k buddy thing between you ends-your friendship will have to end too coz it would not be fair on a new partner to keep her in your life.

People do not think these things through...

[jonnybegood]

How many people in relationships can truly say they stayed friends, my big relationship ended and we said we would, never saw her again, too hard with feelings etc and certainly not fair on any future partner.
I felt nothing during kissing for a long time in that relationship, I think that's the tell tale sign that its just not working, I moved on to another relationship and again it just felt like I was going through the motions, I started dating a new girl now and we can't get enough of each other the kisses are intense gets my whole body tingling and I know it does hers too I can clearly tell her temperature rises, her breaths quicker and her whole body begins to react. I'M NEVER SETTLING FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN ELECTRIC AGAIN!
Move on find a girl that makes you feel that way even if it is a purely physical thing, you are just going to break this poor girls heart, and the long you carry on the worse it will be for her. Think of her not your Johnson!