Standing out from other guys

[Eoin849]

Hey all

I'm going on holiday soon and I want to not just sit around on my own the whole time but socialize (I am pretty shy). The problem I have is that I am going with my good friend who happens to be really social and naturally popular, and I find myself competing wih him in conversations, and lose ... I'm asking basically how can I stand out and be interesting for the girls? I dont want to be the idiot who messes around for laughs, I want to be genuinely interesting to be with, and usually I am okay at this, it is just with my friend I end up silent because he just seems to be funnier or more interesting. Girls, what do you look for in a group convo with a few guys?

[michelle23]

confidence is key. dtop believing hes better than you-hes not

[BackUpOrGetStng]

What have you accomplished? You are either genuinely interesting or you are not. Faking it for the holiday isn't really genuine, now is it?

[Eoin849]

Now I know there are a million and one confidence guides out there, but I am so self-conscious about it I can't tell if I am being arrogant or confident ... a fine line it would seem

[Eoin849]

I guess the problem is that I am an academic and love programming, computers, gaming, investing etc ... I play sport to a high level in badminton and hockey but that's not really something to brag about ... I'm not a rugby/football star or anything, so I kinda feel awkward because no one else really seems to have an interest in what I like. :s

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How old are you?

Sounds like you're 20/21. If I wasn't partying like crazy and selling all kinds of drugs at your age, I probably wouldn't have done so well with girls, because I was kinda like you. You'll have to wait a few years for programming and investing to be interesting to girls your age, but when they are they will be all over you. Trust me. I'm a software engineer, and I was a slow starter, but things picked up in a big way. I suggest you go after the smart girls for the time being.

The common saying is if you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything. I'm of the mind that if you can make her think, it has the same effect.

[Eoin849]

17 actually, but I just don't have an interest in the parties where all the guys stand around one or two girls while every else pretends it isn't awkward/that they are enjoying it. Maybe I am too cynical but having multiple people say just talk about interesting stuff/listen to her doesn't help you when there are other better looking/sporty guys in a group. I appreciate the advice about waiting and making them think though

[dem862]

Well, I think logic would dictate that you attempt to remove yourself from the vicinity of the group, with the object of your desire, if possible.

[michelle23]

just be yourself. theres nothing wrong with just being you. you dont have to prove anything to anyone. girls will see through all the cocky fake bs of your friends and in the end youll win. nice guys always end up with the best wife so dont try to be something your not. sure they may get more attention now off a bunch of naive insecure school girls, eventually there bs will just get them attention whores with a whole pile of emotional baggage and issues. but genuine blokes get the whole package and dont end up with second best