Feelings for my ex? Help please :(

[Derrik]

I am a virgin, and so was she, and I liked that a lot about her and we both wanted to wait til marriage, but we broke up because she wanted me to change, or she was leaving, and if I wanted anything to change, I was called self centered, but that's besides the point, she kissed a lot of other guys before me, but she was my first kiss, she was my first everything, we were both Christians, but we still did do some sexual things, some of which she had done before (like feelings, hand related stuff), but I let it go, and still did some of those things, I was the longest relationship she ever had, and she was my longest too, we were together for 1 year and 10 months, and a few days ago would have been 1 year and 11 months, but seeing as she was my first for a lot of things, I feel like I have a bond with her, that she doesn't have with me, and its stopping me from being able to put her out of my mind, and she stopped doing stuff with me in public shortly after I started going to the same school as her, because for the first part of our relationship, I was at a different school, I asked her out the summer before, and then after that school year, I got swapped into her school, and then she broke up with me shortly before school ended, saying it wasn't permanent, and now every time I call her, it rings once or twice and shoots me to voice mail, and she and her mom both deleted me on facebook. But I still feel like I have a bond, and she just... doesn't care, some of the things that happened in our relationship weren't fair, like if we went for a walk and she brought a friend, she would walk next to her friend and I would have to walk behind, and even after a day when that happened, I was still nice enough to go and buy her dinner and bring it back to her house, and she wouldn't even answer the door to get it, her dad answered. If she did stuff like that to me, but still called me selfish, and kissed me and hugged me and held my hand at the beginning of the year after we started going to the same school, and slowly stopped and then stopped doing anything, why do I still have these feelings? I mean like, the last time we held hands was on Halloween 2012, and I still wanted to be with her, I understand not wanting to do stuff in public, but I don't understand why she would slowly develop that feeling, and I can't get the image of me showing up to church one night and her having a new boyfriend out of my head, and I have the fear she's gonna kiss him and stuff and leave me to think that I was just ugly or something, how do I rid myself of these feelings? I also cant get rid of the thought of her losing her virginity to another guy, or enjoying sexual things and moaning and stuff with other guys being the cause of the pleasure, its like its killing me on the inside, what do I do? she was my first real girlfriend too.

[Valixy]

She was never so much into the relationship as you were and she stopped being interested some time ago but you didn't want to see that. Many people keep hoping that they will succeed to make the other one fall in love but if it doesn't happen in a few months, I think it's time to let go. You don't have a bond with her or she would respond differently to you. What you have is unrequited love and the sooner you accept this you'll be able to let go and move on. She may have been your first girfriend but she hasn't been the right one for you and you should try to forget her. Go out, try to meet other people, do things that you enjoy and since you might be a religious person, I'm telling you to pray whenever you feel down and have faith, because there is no bigger power that can uplift you, heal you, give your joy back and put you on the right track.