I love her but lust for others

[RyanThe]

Hello everyone, Ive been dating my GF for over 2 years now. We started dating junior year in highschool and have been together since. Before her, I had never hooked up with any other girls, I had had some relationships that were silly and short lived, and had kissed a few girls in some situations, but never anything sexual. She had had a few more serious relationships and has done sexual things, everything except for sex. We hit it off and have been together since. Our sex life is great and we are a very good couple. We share interest and joke around. We enjoy the same sports team and are majoring in the same subject. There is some things we disagree on and often argue about, but that is to be expected in most relationships. I love her and I know she loves me back. I have never cheated on her and she has never on me, I can tell. We go to different colleges around 4 hours away. She is at a university and i am at a local college, still living at home. She does party up there, but does so at a minimum, which is nice. I see her roughly once a month, although visiting is difficult. We have had rough patches of fighting, here and there, and just got through another one. We have taken small "breaks" where we do not talk for a week or two weeks on three different occasions.
My problem is simple...lust. I cannot deny it, i am sexually attracted to other females and fantasize about being with them sometimes. Girls have flirted with me before and i have never reciprocated, although I cannot say i didnt enjoy it. I think about that life of hooking up with random girls and living unchained and think it would be great. I am no dummy, and know that i would miss my girlfriend, and I know this is 'the grass is always greener" syndrome, i KNOW it. However, I fear I will never get that true college experience, trying crazy things and being with different woman, and I fear that will be on my mind for the rest of my life, and that scares me. I am transferring to a university after one more year at CC, where there will be ALOT more parties and alot more woman. I fear this feeling will never go away, and while I know anything can happen over the course of a year, we could even be broken up for some reason by then, I fear this feeling will only grow and grow. I just am not sure what to do. I have considered getting with another girl if we ever take another break from each other, in hopes this will purge me of that feeling....but I know i will feel guilty afterwards, and I know this might just make it worse. My girlfriend is not very understanding in this way and if I told her my true feelings, she would be heartbroken, even if she knew I loved her and the feeling had nothing to do with her. I feel as if I had had experience before her this feeling might be lessened. I am at loss as to what I do. There is no specific girl that I lust after, and I am not talking to any girls or thinking of any in particular, it is just a very general feeling.
Thank you for any advice

[basilandthyme]

Hi Ryan, to be honest, I think a lot of what you're feeling is largely due to the distance. Your relationship isn't meeting your physical needs. Not just sex, but cuddles and kisses and holding hands. And at your age, wanting lots of sex and physical contact is pretty normal.

I also have to comment on the two of you often arguing about the things you disagree about. Mate, as much as you like to think it's normal - truth is, this doesn't belong in a good, healthy relationship. You see, in a good relationship, you'd get it sorted out once and for all and quit fighting about the issue. If it was something you'll never agree on, then 'agree to disagree' is a good answer. But either way, rehashing the same old shit isn't good.

Have you considered that the grass may actually BE greener? It's Ok to recognise that sometimes the person we are with simply doesn't suit us. This is especially common when we're in our teens and early 20's. You'll change heaps and your outlook and what you want from a relationship will change too.

I'm not telling you to up and leave. But please do sit down and really think about the pros and cons of being with this girl. You've mentioned some great strengths, but if this relationship was really perfect for you, I doubt you'd have this itch to scratch. Give yourself permission to question whether or not this really suits you.