Hearts Broken - Long... :(

[whaywardj]

I agree with the previous post.

[Asip4u]

I agree with the agreeance of the previous post

[Tommy]

I agree with the agreeance of the agree'e to the previous post... Lol i'm lost ...

Well she's hanging out with other guys, went to a club and stuff and I to feel she's just trying to move on. I know she loves me, that's why she won't look at me cuz it makes her cry, I still make her laugh etc... As hard as it is to think, I may just give up and put all her pics, remembrance away and remove her from my life. I'm tired of being miserable and the only why I can get over her is to end it all.... It kills me to think that, but I don't know at this pt. in time.

She's hanging around people who drink/smoke etc which is not like her, and definately not me - I think she's having a midlife crisis even though she's so young, with bills, 60 hour a week job/s etc etc.

I just want to hold on so bad, if there is a chance, but if there is not then I want her out of my life so I can move on and do what I need to do.

I'm not going to give her an ultimatum or any of that shit. I'll just do the NC and wait for her to call me (btw she did call me right when her phone was turned back on, but when the conversation ended, she said she was going to hang out with some Joey kid, I said cool well i'll catch ya later, I told her I loved her and she didn't say it back, but when I was at her house I told her and she said it back). This leads me to believe she doesn't want to love me anymore and just wants to move on, I will let her since I just want her to be happy.

I've applied to jobs etc, and finances aren't really an issue for me but it is the responsibility factor that she's looking for. Also it seems us being different religions (she's mormon and i'm nothing, just believe in God) has played a large roll in our demise.... She doesn't talk, just makes exscuses.

Maybe she's confused and doesn't know what she wants with life, guess we will wait an see, and in the mean time i'll try to better myself and my healing process.

She said she'll call me, so this time I will wait - but only for so long - then I will go to her tell her I love her, wish her well and goodbye (also to her family). I won't be put on a string like a puppet for someone who doesn't want me, and feel that once she realizes i'm truly gone, she will change her mind, but alas it may be to late for her.

Future holds untold promises/trials and pains, just have to see what life throws at me, and beat it back

[Tommy]

Alright no contact period starts now. I'll update for everyday I am on NC - ETA Is for at least 1-2 months. I don't know what to do if she contacts me though? LOL

[No Bodies Hero]

I am in somewhat the same situation. This is what I use to get me through the situation


" If you love something so much set it free, and if it returns to you it was meant to be your's."

[Tommy]

I am in somewhat the same situation. This is what I use to get me through the situation


" If you love something so much set it free, and if it returns to you it was meant to be your's."

I agree - She called me tonight after hanging with one of her girlfriends. They ate at the place we went on many many dates "Wingers" donno if they are nation wide. She said it made her really sad to think she wasn't with me. Was a very good talk, in the end I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me back. She also asked what I was doing tomorrow - said she'll come over and help me do some work around the house and hang out.

I can only hope this will work out for the best, or at least the way we want it to be. I'm really trying to show her that i'm changing my old habits and to be more mature, I think she sees i'm very serious about what i've said, and about my love for her.

I'll keep ya update on what the next couple days bring, hopefully some good news as I love her so much.

[Tone]

That's great man, you're doing this perfectly in my opinion. You're ready to move on, you're not going to allow yourself to be strung along by her, and most important you're giving her space...

The only thing I might suggest is maybe one of these times she wants to hang out already have plans, that way she knows you're not always going to be there for her every second she wants you.

Just keep up what you're doin!

[No Bodies Hero]

Yeah Tone has the right idea going here, make her think that you have already moved on. Because there is nothing more than a person not being able to get what they want. It is like the sign that says do not push the red button. What are people going to do? They are going to push the button to see why not to push it.

[Tone]

Yeah I think then she'll kind of panic a tiny bit and think "maybe I'm taking this too far?" and realize the whole time she's been so focused on herself and I know she won't like the feeling of possibly losing you.

Like the old saying goes, you always want what you can't have... if you're there for her every single time she calls, and available every single time she wants to hang out, that's going to stick out in the back of her mind.. you need to make her want to be your girlfriend again. Cause right now she basically has a boyfriend in you, without having to be a girlfriend back. See what I'm sayin?

[Tommy]

Yeah I think then she'll kind of panic a tiny bit and think "maybe I'm taking this too far?" and realize the whole time she's been so focused on herself and I know she won't like the feeling of possibly losing you.

Like the old saying goes, you always want what you can't have... if you're there for her every single time she calls, and available every single time she wants to hang out, that's going to stick out in the back of her mind.. you need to make her want to be your girlfriend again. Cause right now she basically has a boyfriend in you, without having to be a girlfriend back. See what I'm sayin?

Ya I agree. Haven't called her, waiting for her to call me even though I was in a car accident...

[Tone]

eep are you alright? And did you guys hang out today like planned? How'd that go? Hope everything is okay.

[Tommy]

eep are you alright? And did you guys hang out today like planned? How'd that go? Hope everything is okay.

Other than my ego ya - we were both at fault so we said screw it and parted ways, no insurance or any of that crap luckily.

She didn't end up calling me till 11:30 tonight. She worked from 6am-12 then went home and got ready etc and went to a Kelly Clarkson concert with some people I guess.

She asked me if I wanted her to call me tomorrow, my answer was if you want you can. She said - "K, i'll call you right when I wake up".

She also said previous to that "i'm not doing anything tomorrow" probably expecting me to ask her to do something. Well, I told her I was just gonna be going to gym/working in the basement etc, but didn't ask her to do anything. I'm to the point where I feel it's her turn to try with me.

I love her more than ever, and miss her tons, but i'm not going to be strung around. I almost didn't answer her call at all tonight, but I couldn't stop myself, got to half way through the last ring..... I tried though.

I told her I loved her, she said "i told you, you can't tell me that" I asked why and she said it makes it hard for her. I said "what do ya mean? Like it makes you miss me" and she said ya... So i donno it's kind of a whack situation right now.

Think I should try and get her to do something tomorrow or nah? I would love to but I don't want to make the wrong moves ya know?

[Tone]

Ugh.. listen Tommy... it's been what, almost 3 weeks now since she called everything off?

Now take this with a grain of salt, cause you know your situation best, but I'm almost willing to say you sit her down and say Listen, this is going on for long enough and I don't have time to play games anymore. You want to hang out with me and want me to be there for you, and want me to pretend everything is alright, but it's not. I understand you are going through some things, but please think about my feelings too, cause I don't appreciate being strung along here... do you see a future for us? Do you think you can give me a chance to prove I can change? If not, then please, let's stop seeing each other at all, stop calling, stop hanging out, cause I don't think I can handle just being your friend.

I dunno man... it's just that it's been 3 weeks and she's still not giving you any indication on how she's doing? What is she trying to do? Get over you? I don't think you should be saying "I love you" everytime (actually not at all during the break) but I mean c'mon now.. seems she is being a little selfish with her wanting to break up, then USE you to help her slowly slowly slowly get over you, by still being around you, but taking out little elements (like saying "I love you") slowly at a time to help her ease on out of your life.

I think it's time you make a stand for yourself, make her realize she isn't in control of you and you're gettin fed up. It's a very delicate situation and so please examine it very carefully (I'm sure you have) but really think about it.. how long can this go on? What can possibly come of this current behavior? I just see it as her using you as her crutch in moving on.. it's like she wants to break up, but she's still missing you, so she's keepin you around to try to help ease her way through it, by asking you to stop doing the things you guys normally do.

Tommy, I'm tired, and I don't know if I'm making sense, but I think it's about time to take a stand for yourself. Or at least figure out what's going on with her.. I dunno because the more I think of it this is the same thinking I did with my own situation and it didn't work out.. I made all the wrong moves so that's why it's important you try to look at this as best as possible with your knowledge of her and your guys' relationship.. do you think time is all she needs? If so keep on giving her space, and lessen the contact. For sure stop saying I love you, and maybe just be there as a cool buddy hang out person and she might realize this is where she wants to be...

LoL I know I'm kinda ridin both sides of the fence here, but it's all up to you man. Things seemed great at first like she was just needing some time.. but now it just seems like she is using you to try to help her get over you... as much as I hate to say :(

[Tone]

Maybe ask her out tomorrow on a date.. and do everythin real special. Like buy a bunch of roses, take 1 out and give it to her when you pick her up.. when you get in the car reach around in the back and give her another.. when you get to the restaurant, reach around and give another. Don't mention anything about you guys' breakup or anything, don't say I love you, don't make her uncomfortable at all.. make it HER night.. go see a movie she would like to see.. do whatever it is she would like to do.. then when you go to drop her off at home for the night, after all is said and done, reach around and give her 1 last rose. Walk her to the door, tell her how beautiful she is and how much fun you had, see if she'll let you kiss her.

Then see how things go after a great night!

[missguided.rose]

I think you two sound like a good couple.. It's natural for you to doubt relationships when things are getting stressful *done it* but I think in the end, you just have to be honest, you have to do what's right for both of you.. she needs space, you give it to her, if you need space, she should give it to you. I think the poem/letter/roses are all really nice, but if it's too often and so close after the "space" conversation they might have the opposite effect.

I admire you for the fact that you've stuck around and haven't given up easily, just remember to communicate. About everything.