Should we Stay or should we Part?

[PJ999]

Hi, I'm 33 and my girlfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 years now living together. We love eachother a lot and we never argue/have problems. I feel we're not just partners, we're also best friends if that makes sense.

The thing is, she has an gotten an opportunity to go study abroad, something that will get her from low minimum wage to a high middle class salary. This is a big opportunity for her and not something that I want to take away from her. But if she will take that opportunity it will mean I will not see her for at least 4 years, and who knows what will happen in that time.

I know she is sometimes hoping that I will tell her to stay with me, but my finances aren't that great either at the moment so I'm not really confident that I can support us both. And I'm also thinking "what if we break up in the future?" Then I will have ruined her opportunity for a better financial future...

The reason for me thinking "what if we breakup?" is because I lost sexual interest in her for the most part. I'm still horney, just not for her. I know maybe that sounds bad, but it's only the sexual part. I still love her very much, that has only increased as our relationship and mutual trust solidified over time...

I don't feel in anyway that I want to break up with her by the way. I'm just thinking about the future, because I'm not sure if having no sexual desire towards your partner is healthy, and if it will work long term or cause problems.

I don't know what to do really. i know that if she goes I will miss her A LOT. But I'm scared that if she stays that maybe our relationship won't last, and then she is left with nothing. No career and no love.

Please advise. What do you think? What should I do? Please share your insights

[surfhb2]

Hi, I'm 33 and my girlfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 years now living together. We love eachother a lot and we never argue/have problems. I feel we're not just partners, we're also best friends if that makes sense.

The thing is, she has an gotten an opportunity to go study abroad, something that will get her from low minimum wage to a high middle class salary. This is a big opportunity for her and not something that I want to take away from her. But if she will take that opportunity it will mean I will not see her for at least 4 years, and who knows what will happen in that time.

I know she is sometimes hoping that I will tell her to stay with me, but my finances aren't that great either at the moment so I'm not really confident that I can support us both. And I'm also thinking "what if we break up in the future?" Then I will have ruined her opportunity for a better financial future...

The reason for me thinking "what if we breakup?" is because I lost sexual interest in her for the most part. I'm still horney, just not for her. I know maybe that sounds bad, but it's only the sexual part. I still love her very much, that has only increased as our relationship and mutual trust solidified over time...

I don't feel in anyway that I want to break up with her by the way. I'm just thinking about the future, because I'm not sure if having no sexual desire towards your partner is healthy, and if it will work long term or cause problems.

I don't know what to do really. i know that if she goes I will miss her A LOT. But I'm scared that if she stays that maybe our relationship won't last, and then she is left with nothing. No career and no love.

Please advise. What do you think? What should I do? Please share your insights

My first question is what so special about studying abroad? I seriously doubt there are no options in a country with the finest education institutions in the world. Explain how she will miraculously go from minimum wage to$ 100k a year??

[PJ999]

Oops I forgot to mention this, we live in the Philippines. The wage there is very minimum.

[smackie9]

I have a feeling that she is throwing this at you to see what direction your relationship is going. And since you are not planning drop to on one knee to stick a ring on her finger (which she is really hoping for I can bet money on it) I feel it's only fair to just step back and call her bluff.

[PJ999]

No I don't feel it's like that. She asked me sometimes "what if I stay?"... And then my reaction was always kind of iffy - in the sense that could not respond with full confidence that we should stay together and that everything would work itself out if we do. The reason for that is what I described before - about not wanting to take away her opportunity. Because what if I tell her to stay with me and then in a few years we break up? She will have lost her opportunity for nothing.

P.S. she was already planning and organizing this before I met her, so it's not something new.

[smackie9]

This is only one opportunity....who's to say there can't be more?