Kissing & Intimacy

**nebulachich** · 30-06-05, 12:00 AM

So I finally got intimate with a guy I've been seeing for a while. He started by giving me a massage and kissing the back of my neck. I turned around to kiss him on the lips. He didn't seem real into it. Later we got into things again and again I went to kiss him on the lips. He kind of tensed up so I asked "Do you not enjoy kissing?" He said "It's just that it's a really intimate thing to me and certain people..." and he kind of trailed off. I said "Certatin people what?" but he wouldn't get into it.

He had told me he didn't want anything more than sex when we started datin. When I offered to get a hotel room later that night he said it wouldn't be the best night bcuz he had some work he had to get done for a presentation the next morning (which I confirmed was true) and would have felt funny getting a room with me for just an hour or so and having to up and run after sex... and expressed concern that it wouldn't be right emotionally either and he'd rather wait and plan for some other time.

???????

Surprised the hell out of me!!!!!!! Why would he care about emotions if he just wants sex?? Let alone the kissing thing!

**whaywardj** · 30-06-05, 12:40 AM

Sounds, offhand, as if he's just being cautious about getting caught up anything either he or you might not want to finish. Also sounds as if he doesn't enjoy sex unless there's an element of romance attached to it. More darkly, it's also reminiscent of the opening moves in a control game. Take your pick.

**marcus23** · 03-07-05, 08:21 PM

I think he doesn't really know what he want.

**Ellynn** · 07-08-05, 02:45 PM

It sounds to me that kissing on the lips is more of an emotional thing to him. And yet sex is just sex. Maybe he has a hard time separating the two....

It sounds to me that he just wants sex.....no kissing on the lips.....just regular sex..... but maybe he realized he can't just do that....when he turned you down. It might have been the original plan but maybe he decided not to follow thru....on just sex.

**Only-virgins** · 08-08-05, 04:39 PM

A kiss is more improtant and more emotional then sex?...now I have heard it all

.

**Ellynn** · 08-08-05, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

A kiss is more improtant and more emotional then sex?...now I have heard it all

.

Well I happen to think that sex is more emotional then a kiss. But there are people out there that think of sex as just sex .....and do not have their emotions involved.

For them I think a kiss could be more intimate..... Then there are some who will kiss you and have sex w/ you and feel nothing......

**Only-virgins** · 08-08-05, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Ellynn

Well I happen to think that sex is more emotional then a kiss. But there are people out there that think of sex as just sex .....and do not have their emotions involved.

For them I think a kiss could be more intimate..... Then there are some who will kiss you and have sex w/ you and feel nothing......

Wierd. I can only explain it this way. I see sex as a running car and a kiss as turning the key. I cant even imagine sex with out kissing and foreplay fun. Its always emotional...an orgams is an emotion...its true I swear..emotion is just a name for something that creates feeling.

**Ellynn** · 08-08-05, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Wierd. I can only explain it this way. I see sex as a running car and a kiss as turning the key. I cant even imagine sex with out kissing and foreplay fun. Its always emotional...an orgams is an emotion...its true I swear..emotion is just a name for something that creates feeling.

Ok, well then the person does feel "something" .......like the pleasurable feeling of an orgasm......but doesn't always mean its something that makes the person emotionally involved with the other person..... Like there may not be feelings there......other then the sexual ones.... Basically I would say its more lust then anything else.....

And yes sex would suck without the kissing and the foreplay. But even with that it guarantees nothing. Alot of people are just out for the fun of it....and theres nothing wrong with that if thats what your into.

**GrkScorp** · 10-08-05, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by nebulachich

So I finally got intimate with a guy I've been seeing for a while. He started by giving me a massage and kissing the back of my neck. I turned around to kiss him on the lips. He didn't seem real into it. Later we got into things again and again I went to kiss him on the lips. He kind of tensed up so I asked "Do you not enjoy kissing?" He said "It's just that it's a really intimate thing to me and certain people..." and he kind of trailed off. I said "Certatin people what?" but he wouldn't get into it.

He had told me he didn't want anything more than sex when we started datin. When I offered to get a hotel room later that night he said it wouldn't be the best night bcuz he had some work he had to get done for a presentation the next morning (which I confirmed was true) and would have felt funny getting a room with me for just an hour or so and having to up and run after sex... and expressed concern that it wouldn't be right emotionally either and he'd rather wait and plan for some other time.

???????

Surprised the hell out of me!!!!!!! Why would he care about emotions if he just wants sex?? Let alone the kissing thing!

no no no... that's not it at all... he knows exactly what he wants... but it's not his veiw on sex...

sex to him isn't something you do in some hotel room...

when he seems to evade and run off and away from the subject.. he just does so caz he doesn't want to say what he really feels...

i think he just wants sex to be special and intimate... not on the cover of hotel hotties volume 9... but then again.. he can't just SAY it.. caz like.. comming from a guy.. that sounds kinda gay.. and i'm shur he doesn't want u to think that he's gay...

but it's the truth... he just doesn't want it like BAM!!! ... done and over... he just wants it to be special for both of you.. and some hotel room offer right in the heat of the moment isn't his idea of special..

if i was you... i could do one of two things...

1. try to find an actual place to have sex...

2. explain to him.. or try to make him comfortable with the whole hotel thing... make him see that it's not about the WHERE so much as the WHAT that makes sex intimate...

i'm shur ur a smart girl... u'll figure things out... but the thing to keep in mind... is that your guy wants to have sex with you just as bad as you want to have sex with him.. and he's feeling the same frustration and it's much worst for both of you when you comfront him.. because he feels that there's just nothing he can do about it... but just try those 2 options...

**artyemi** · 10-08-05, 05:39 AM

why are we posting here? where's nebulachic?

Tone · 10-08-05, 08:47 AM

Probably will never be here again...

but I wanna know where Asip, Hayward, Hussain, and Tommy have been... I know Asip and Hayward are still around, just not postin much lately.. but Hussain and Tommy I haven't seen in a long time and I miss them ; ;

**shh!** · 10-08-05, 01:52 PM

Yeah, I miss Asip's posts...

**clynn** · 10-08-05, 04:26 PM

well, bloody hell, i'm doin' my best here.

Tone · 10-08-05, 10:11 PM

No I like you too clynn >:)

**clynn** · 11-08-05, 09:47 AM

...but...geeeze...it is quite here, eh?

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