Vaca w/o the other half?

[lostone8]

Would you let your other half go on vacation without you?

I won a trip, filled out his info for my guest, and his background didn't pass. They offered me a chance to take someone else, so I wouldn't have to do it solo.
I decided it would be the best and less..messy if I took my sister. Not a girl friend or a guy friend, just my sister.
Well needless to say, this was not okay with him. To him, I should have forfeited the trip. It is selfish for me to go and leave him here by himself.
He has told me that he may not be here when I get back.

Is it usual for adults to go on girls trips or guys trips?

To me it always was. To him it isn't right, for some reason. He says that people don't do that sort of thing.
I have gone back and forth for months on weather what I am doing is right or not...
Decided to finally get an opinion. Please let me know what you honestly think.
Also it is only 3 days!
Thanks!

[Ann S]

It is not your fault that his background didn't check out. I'd say, go on the trip and if he were a stand up guy, he'd tell you to go, have fun, and bring him a present! And if he is manipulating you by suggesting he, "might not be here when you get back," I wonder if you really want to be with a guy like this who threatens to leave the relationship if he doesn't get his way. Very controlling in a passive aggressive way, I'd say! GOOOOOO on your vacation and have a blast! Ann

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell him to make sure he doesn't leave anything behind on his way out.

[searock]

I think you should go on the trip. And seriously reconsider your relationship with a guy as controlling as your boyfriend. He won't let you go on vacation for 3 days... that's just crazy. There are some serious trust issues in your relationship. Have you cheated on him, has he cheated on you, has he been cheated on in the past? I mean, why does he have so much trouble trusting you?

[michelle23]

Ya I agree. As long as you trust each other-there should be no issues with you or him going on a trip without each other

[4 ratties]

This is not okay. And I'm sorry your even considering it to be okay. Your boyfriend is being very non supportive and HE is the selfish one. He's threatening you too, which is always nice. You could find someone way Better than this.

[michelle23]

ya someone whos not banned from planes hahaha

[vashti]

How does one's background not pass for a free trip?

(I think he sounds like a supreme asshole... a decent guy wouldn't expect you to miss out because HE has a bad history.)

[lostone8]

It was just a bad check. To be eligible to go you couldn't have any misdemeanors or felonies.

No, I haven't ever cheated on him. I've never given him a reason to think I would. In the past I was always the one who got cheated on. I don't believe he has cheated either.

[michelle23]

if hes that paranoid-it could mean he doesnt trust himself. Is he possessive in general? Controlling in other ways? Jealous?

[Am I crazy?]

where is the trip to? just a general answer not looking for the specific hotel or resort.

[Am I crazy?]

I just checked back and see you have not responded yet so I will just tell you where I am going with my question. First, if you are going on a trip with your sister and he has a problem with it, he either does not trust your sister, trust you, or the both of you when together.

Second, this may seem off the wall but sadly this is the way a lot of guys think. Simply, if you are going to warm weather destination where you will be able to flaunt your body in a bikini without him around to play "beach police" he may have huge issues with you being seen. It could just be a severe jealousy/ insecurity issue on his part and if that IS the case? you need to decide if that's what you really want to be with. Now, not trying to be in the gutter here but if the destination has topless or nude beaches it would further explain his ultimatum about not being there when you go when you get home. For some guys the thought of another guy seeing his woman's boobies is a deal breaker if they cant feel like they can be present to make sure nobody looks too long.

If you think this is the case I say go anyway knowing that he might not be there when you return. have a great time and if he gets nasty about it before you go send him a nice picture of yourself while on the trip in your bikini, but mostly a top shot taken just high enough so he cant tell if you are really wearing a top, lol. and tell him how much fun you are having without him.

[lostone8]

Yes he is controlling and he is really good a flipping things around and making me feel bad about them. Very jealous when it comes to anyone else taking up my time.

Its for the Marlboro Ranch.

[Am I crazy?]

well..... Im guessing that blows the second half of my theory away. Maybe he does not like cowboys? or is afraid you do.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dump him. Take all power to manipulate you from him, and watch him squirm like a bitch.