What should I do?

[wewillknowwho]

Ok. Let's get into it. I recently started a new job 4 months ago, and that's where i met her. The first time we met we knew there was something there between us. We were constantly flirting with each other, and fortunately we lived very close, so we went home the same way together after work. A few train journeys later, I asked for her number, and we started texting. It was from then, that she admitted she liked me and had feelings for me. Looks like I was about to hit the jackpot, right? Wrong. Soon after, she then admitted to me that she had a boyfriend. I tried backing off but it was too late at this point, i got to know her so well to the point where i found out we had so much in common. Anyway, after speaking to her friends, I found out things weren't, and still aren't going well with her boyfriend. It's there that she dropped the friends card.....She's going away for a year in a months time, so i keep wondering if things would have been different if she wasn't going. Anyway, whenever she mentions us just being friends, she keeps saying "right now," or "for now, we're just friends." What does that mean? She's coming back from her holiday with her partner in two weeks, which is the decider stage. After that I have two weeks to make my mark. I don't know what to do. I wan't to look after her because I actually care about her but I don't want her to think I'm happy with us just staying as friends. The past week has been horrible. I've tried accepting just being friends but it's too painful for me. Also, how can I know if the feelings she originally had for me are still there? I wan't to move on but the way she spoke to me before she told me about her boyfriend is what keeps me pursuing. Again, how do I know if those feelings are still there? She's offered to "hang out" when she get's back and I have so much to say to her but I wan't to let it in gently. I would really appreciate the help since I am so confused.

[4 ratties]

You want to start a relationship with someone that is going away for a year? I could never not see my significant other for a year especially a new one. But ppl are okay with that and military families do it too. If that's worth it to you, then I would tell her how you feel before she goes. You mentioned what she said about you guys but you didn't mention what you have said to her.. Have u told her your feelings? If not thts the first step. I would just tell her everything your thinking. You'll feel much better and at least you tried if things don't go well

[michelle23]

shes taken and playing games with you. shes emotionally cheating on her bf coz she doesnt have the balls to work on their problems or leave him and your just a distraction-an emotional tampon for her to leanon
even if she wasnt g onoing away ere

even if she wasnt going away- theres prob a 1% hance of things working out between you

seen the same situation 100 times on this forum. she will hurt you without a doubt and youll be back here crying in a month

anyway i know you believe shes an innocent vctim right now and want to believe the sun shines out of her ass and will refuse to accept that shes manipulating you but youll figure it out in time

[LoveLife]

Its a difficult one - its either friends zone of more...the difficult thing is if you don't get the reaction you want from telling her you have to break ties (as the pain is to much being friends). Or if your well rehearsed words work then hoorah. But the only thing you hae=ve to be aware of is she is jumping from one relationship to another - and if you love her then she needs that space you both do. Or things will happened too quickly.........good luck