What is going in his mind? Has he stopped being into me?

[Alisson]

He is younger than me by 4.5 years and we met in our theater classes a few months ago. He made me pay attention to him through the way he approached me and treated me. We soon became intimate but only friends. We had long lasting conversations and non-ending hugs as well when we met alone. We developped an incredible chemistry between us and he overpassed the touch-barrier. It was obvious that we had a crush on each other, it was more than social interest.
However, he wouldn't take the initiative to talk to me or prospose me a date or text me. He would wait to be asked by me for spending time together. He would never do something that would reveal disrespectful thoughts (I consider it would have something to do with the way he was raised and his family's realtion with religion).
It gets really on my nerves though, because it feels a lot like indifference; he is always surrounded by so many women and friends, so nice with everybody that it seems that he doeas not have the time to talk to me, unless I go towards him and speak to him.
I have stopped keeping in touch with him the last week and I am thinking of keeping this neutral and a little scornful attitude towards him. If he asks me what's wrong, I will explain that if he lets it fade away, I will let it too. If he does not, I am thinking of telling him on my own at a time he does not expect it. Besides, he has turned me off...
I tried to be concise and I am really looking forward to reading males' opinions and advice. Thank you!

[michelle23]

hes not interested in you but when you hand it to him on a plate-he doesnt say no. dude sounds like a player who pretends to be a nice guy. bet hes shagging one or two of those female friends too. i know im not a man but thats what it sounds like to me.. hes too many women around him which is a red flag. just forget him

[smackie9]

What do you mean by intimate?

[Alisson]

hes not interested in you but when you hand it to him on a plate-he doesnt say no. dude sounds like a player who pretends to be a nice guy. bet hes shagging one or two of those female friends too. i know im not a man but thats what it sounds like to me.. hes too many women around him which is a red flag. just forget him

His general behaviour would never give away that he is a PLAYER and nobody would ever think of him as one. But I am afraid you are right. This perspective changes entirely the image of the character he is supposed to have. Do you think I should tell him though my thoughts for him? I could stay cool and tell him "Hey, you are not such a nice guy after all. Better we spaced out a bit."
I forget him, 'cause I really do not need careless people in my life. Thank you!

[smackie9]

I don't know why you guys would make him out to be a bad guy......you even said yourself he socially interacted equally with everyone else pretty much. You are just jealous and pissed because you felt you were led on and turned out to be just like everyone else. If he was such a player he would have led you to a bed somewhere and you were vulnerable enough to do it, am I right? Guess what, you got friend zoned....rare for a woman because it happens to guys mostly. And there has been a lot of pissed off heart broken guys on here to prove it.

[michelle23]

he has many female friends. Most the guys here will tell you that is a red flag. OP did you have sexual contact with him? If not, then yes you probably were friendzoned as apposed to being used which isn't so bad.

I still say forget him and move on

[Luvs9399]

No relationship should be a one-way street, and he's not focused into you so just leave him alone but giving him attitude won't change anything either but just make you look bad. So, just learn from this and move on...

[michelle23]

ya in future let him chase you. dont make the first move and make him work hard to impress you - that makes you look like the prize-not him

[Alisson]

Well... I have stopped any communication with him and I saw that he felt a little confused. I don't care romantically in him anymore, because I can tell now that he is a little coward and this is not the behavior that turns me on. Anyway, I feel though that someone has to make him aware of the definition of "friends" and where their limits are -in simple words. I asked him at some point he talked to me, when he would be available to tell him something I wanted, but he suddenly appeared really busy at the point - "full time friend" duties, I suppose, hahaha!!! Whatever...
Anyway, if I am given the chance to let him know that I felt let down and that any kind of relationships must be maintained by both sides, I will seize it. I think all of us should try to communicate our feelings and be honest about our thoughts; neither is anyone entitled to expect the other to guess what happens in their minds. Yes, I do feel disappointed, but disappointment is one of the possible side-effects of any association, right?

[michelle23]

if you dont want to be with him romantically then dont bother being his friend either. its a waste of time. just move on with your life. you can still be polite if you see him but you dont need to be best mates

[Boisdevie]

It was obvious that we had a crush on each other, it was more than social interest.

Of course you were hot for each other dear. That's why all those endless hugs ended in sex. Oh, wait.

[smackie9]

Just looking for validation.....makes me wonder if he is gay.....the opportunity to get sex was right there.