i declined meeting his family. we're not oficially dating - he seemed hurt.

[shortyrock]

The man I'm currently involved with and I were taking a casual drive yesterday evening. We were still very near my place when his Mom called him and asked if he was in the area, if he could drive her somewhere. I was fine with this, but I was expecting for him to just drop me off at home so he could attend to his business. He wanted me to meet her. I automatically got uncomfortable and requested that he just drop me off, that we could meet up again when he was finished if he wanted. He was very let down that I wasn't willing to meet her.

I was not dressed in a manner to make a first impression. I also didn't think that was the ideal scenario to meet his Mother. I told him this.

We are also, and most importantly, not in a relationship. It's heading towards that, but I'm not all about meeting his family because I feel that is something you do once you've been together officially for at least a few months. I didn't say this, because the situation was light and cheery and I didn't want to be all serious and negative.

I could tell it really bothered him, because he joked about it later on in the evening once we met up again.

He's been wanting me to meet his family for quite some time now. I think he needs to cool it a little.

[toknow]

I think you are right to want to meet them at the right time. Now you have to explain that to him.

[smackie9]

If you showed a little more tact you wouldn't be in this situation....now he has the wrong impression about you. Maybe he is under the impression that this relationship is official while you feel it's not. It»' time to have the "talk" with him. Just calmly say though you enjoy his company, you are not quite ready to be his GF' and want to wait to see where it goes before taking steps to meet each other's family. If you fear saying this will scare him off then you shouldn't be seeing him because you both are not on the same page.

Me Personally I don't see an issue with meeting a date's parents...even if you have only known each other for a short time....what up with that? All I hear is lame excuses. Why is it such an issue with you? Do you fear he is moving way too fast and this is your subtle way of saying "slow down, I'm not sure if I'm, that into you?"

[surfhb2]

Yeah....what you said to the guy was: " I'm not that into you at this point".

What was the big deal? You're not obligated after meeting the parents and now you've put a stain on things. Should have just went along....it even would have been a good opportunity to know a little more about the guy.

You girls think way too much.

[lalalita]

If he really wants you to meet his family, he should make plans to do so, not spring it on you randomly. Meeting a man's mother for the first time is a big deal for a woman if she pictures herself staying with him. He probably didn't think of that and thought it was no big deal, or even thought he was being polite inviting you along. But, I probably would have done the same thing.

[basilandthyme]

I think you totally over-reacted and I can certainly see why he's bothered.

In many families, meeting the parents has zero significance. It's certainly the case with both my and my husband's families. And it's not what you wear that matters, it's how you behave.

[smackie9]

When I first met my SO's father we were like on our third date by then....I was dressed in my club wear...his dad thought I looked hot lol.....and maybe a little dangerous for his 20 year old son.