Is he serious or is he just another jerk?

[SmthElse]

Hey!
I'll try to make it short.
In a few weeks I'll be moving to another country.
Because I didnt know anyone there, I made an account on a dating site, trying to meet a nice guy.
And so I did meet a guy, we've been talking for about a month, daily, although not so much anymore. He said from the beginning that he'll wait for me, that he's not interested in other girls etc. Altough he still visited the site daily.
Yesterday I made a fake account and he immediately sent me a message, I didnt send him a message first! Today I told him I bought my ticket, he was really happy, he said lfinally you bought your ticket, you;re coming!! and that he'll wait for me at the airport.
But this evening he also messaged the other me. We talked for about 2 hours, he was really warm, he wrote hugs and kisses at the end.. although he never wrote me kisses or hugs. And he said he wants to meet me this weekend!
So..yeah I know we're not really together(although today he said we're like a pair) and so he has the right to talk to other girls..but the fact that he tells me he waits for me..but then he wants to date this other girl in the weekend..and that he was so much warm with her than with me..really bothered me..
Should I tell him no thanks, I dont need you to pick me up from the airport? And just forget about him?
Thank you

[Cerby]

You should stop being foolish and realize online dating is just that - online. Once you meet the person for sure then you can go ahead and start worrying about the relationship aspect. Right now he is keeping his options open, and should continue to do so.

Also, having someone pick you up from the airport on the first real date is the opening scene to a horror movie. Take care of the move yourself, and arrange to meet him for coffee if you're still interested.

[Wakeup]

Listen to cerby. You don't even know this guy and you're trusting him enough to pick you up? I hope you have your own place to stay and that you don't expect this guy to sleep with you before you figure out if he's got bodies buried in his basement or not. O.O

Not only that, you don't even know him and already you're being jealous and paranoid enough to be disingenuous with him by pretending you're someone else.

Step back for a moment here and reign in your out of control emotional response to a stranger who has more then likely just been telling you what you want to hear.

Who else can meet you at the airport? Have you told anyone where you'll be and about this guy?

[smackie9]

Tell him no thanks.....there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

[michelle23]

its a stupid idea. tell him your not going-you changed your mind, delete your account (the real and the fake) and if you have given him any details about where youll be staying-i suggest you change your plans. i hope you havnt given him pictures?

did your parents not teach you anything about meeting strangers? did you know youngwomen get kidnapped all the time, drugged and forced to work as prostitutes?

you have been really foish and you need to stop this now. your going to a strange country alone, be safe and take care of yourself

[SmthElse]

He teaches at a university and I saw his picture on the university website, my sister knows that he wanted to meet me at the airport and so on. So I don't think he's dangerous and that you are overreacting a bit, especially Michelle who is talking to me as if I'm 5 years old.
I will tell him that I will take a cab just because I don't want to owe him anything.
But my problem with him was something else..and you focused almost entirely on the airport thing
Thank you anyway.

[michelle23]

because it IS dangerous. i dont mean to ridicule you, i just think you should be more careful. he is a stranger after all.

anyway i think you should forget him coz hes lying to you. he could have been honest coz you havnt met yet and its not a bg deal but he made it a big deal by telling you what you want to hear and filling you up on a load of BS

[smackie9]

He isn't obligated to only be interested in you because you are not even dating so you need to get over this paranoia....this is how people date these days.

Go out on a date and simply ask him if he is actively dating as part of a conversation and see if he feeds you a BS line, then you will know where this guy is at. You can start off by saying how you went on the dating site to meet people because you don't really know anyone, and it would be nice to find someone to show you the area. Do not focus on being in a relationship, it's just a bloody date. And don't limit yourself to this one guy either....just have fun, go out and meet new people.

[IndiReloaded]

I wouldn't see him if I knew he hit on another online profile. But that's just me. I think I'm all that and if he chooses to still chase others -- his loss. Of course, what you don't know... my SO closed his account shortly after our first date. I didn't, and still got messages from men. I didn't actively contact anyone though either.

Don't let him pick you up, agree with the others on that.

[Wakeup]

Okay, now we're going to focus on your obsessionary reaction to a guy you don't even know, even though you think that you're safe, you're not being very smart with the way you're thinking about this whole thing.

Read smackie's post again because you're being far tooooo possessorary. He dosn't owe you anything and by saying "I'll wait for you" it doesn't mean that he's going to be celibate or such like a 12 year or choir boy while he does it. It just means he'll not commit himself to anyone until he's had a chance to see if the online "chemistry" plays out in real time. You've not met yet, remember... To cut himself off from dating others without having never met you is just silly. For all he knows, you might not even show up at in his city. One month of online chats doesn't make a commitment.

Setting up a fake account to shit test someone you've not even met tells me that you're far too invested in this guy who you've never even had a face to face conversation with. Don't let your pre-meeting "connection" trick you into thinking you know this guy more then you really do. You know nothing about the real him... only what words he's used to describe himself and the one's he's told you that he thinks you want to hear.

Have fun but keep it real. You don't even know him except what he's told you. Words without actions are just words.

[michelle23]

yes but sheshouldnt lie about it. he said specifically hes notvinterested in anyone else which is obviously bull. i wouldnt trust him full stop and i defo wouldnt meet him for a date after that

[Wakeup]

Even if he wasn't chatting to other girls she shouldn't trust him. Trust is earned and she doesn't know him enough to even know if he's trustworthy.

[smackie9]

If he was much warmer to the other you, obviously you have a hotter looking alter profile picture. Of course he is gonna throw caution into the wind and go for someone better looking....I sure as hell would too!

Girl if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. Maybe this should be a lesson on how much a guy is interested in you. If a guy is being very flirty, and hot onto you, it's a no brainer he is digging ya more than anyone else. If it's just simple conversation and rated PG rated talk, then it's not an invested thing to them.

[smackie9]

It's just human nature...if there is choice everyone will go with the better looking one. We do it in the grocery store when picking out fruit and vegetables.

[surfhb2]

Pffst! When i was doing the online thing sometime back I was sweet talking 5-10 women at a time. Get a grip on reality OP!

Your fake profile is unbelievably immature