What to do when my wife starts a fight..

[jbruced]

Hello,
This is quite a dilemma for you this early in a new marriage. There are some questions that you can ask to begin to expose her behavior. First thing I want you to do is have a deep compassion and love for your new wife. She is struggling to understand her feelings for you in the new marriage. I caution you from calling her names and focusing on the negative aspects of her behavior. when next you see her just look at her with compassion and sit beside her, do not attempt to get sympathy from her, this is what is triggering her loss of respect for you. To be the man means to hold her responsible for how much she loves you. Here are some questions you can open with when she calms down again.
Ask her:
When you have these moments that you berate me and speak in a mean fashion. What do you want the outcome to be when you find yourself in these moods?
How do you feel about this marriage, what would you like to change in the marriage?
What do you think the real issue is between us, that has brought on this display of aggression?
How would you like to move forward in this marriage now that we have experienced this disconnect between us?
Understand that because the two of you are new to the marriage, this behavior is not about you, that's why it is fruitless to say you are sorry. She came to you with these issues about intimacy and fear of being close. Watch for what happens between you just before she goes into her destructive moods. There is something you say to her that triggers this behavior. Sit with her and just be quiet, do not defend yourself, or say that you are sorry. When you stop talking and just stay close, she will have the opportunity to think about her behavior. Now is the time to sit with her and revisit the reasons the two of you married so young and quickly. If she has abandonment issues with her father, she may be attempting to distance herself from you to protect her heart in case you leave her. There are too many possible scenarios to cover in this brief talk. One last thing ask her how important is it to stay married to you? If it is important to her then she will agree to go with you to counseling if you two want to save your marriage. I wish you the best with your situation. JB

[IndiReloaded]

She's either a bitch or is shit-testing you... which still makes her a bitch, if more due to immaturity than malice.

Respect for self leads to respect for others. I'm going to suggest something different from the others. When she acts like this, absolutely do not tolerate it, as Stung says. But I would stay calm and cold. Tell her that her behaviour lacks class and is only serving to make *her* look bad. You need to attack her self-image but without losing your own face. Say you are prepared to listen to her points if she can make them in a calm and respectful manner.

Then leave. Wait for her to come to you. If she has any self-awareness she will. If she doesn't, you are probably better off divorced. Good luck.

[Boisdevie]

I think you should look on the bright side. At least her family is rich. Can't you get them to buy you a nice Ferrari? And then divorce the silly bitch.

[surfhb2]

A 19 year old rich princess taken for a wife. Im shaking my head!!! Jesus Bro! Did someone close to you EVER bring up the fact that you might want to re-think the situation before the ceremony? Anyone at all?!?!

[TablesandChairs]

This girl needs both the time and the environment to grow into an adult...she can't do that with you running around saying "sorry" on repeat. You're only delaying her ability to mature. She needs to be held accountable for her actions and overreactions, which you are currently not doing.

There are certain challenges to marrying teenage girls...temperamental 'Princess' behavior being one of them. Good luck.

[Boisdevie]

There are certain challenges to marrying teenage girls...temperamental 'Princess' behavior being one of them. Good luck.

I'm laughing my arse off here. In my 49 years on this planet I've made some very very big mistakes. But the OPs mistake of marrying a 19 year old rich 'princess' makes my mistakes seem amateur by comparison.