Really liking this guy but...

[froggy21]

Ok, here's the story, I met this guy I really like, we have been talking and hanging out for about 2 weeks now and he seems to really like me and I really like him too, but he just interviewed for a new job that will cause him to travel ALOT and I won't be able to see him very much at all. So should I slack off on the seeing him and staying with him and talking to him so much and hanging out with him all the time so I don't get attached, or should I just let things run their course? Because if I start to slack off then he is going to think that something is wrong and maybe he will slack off too and start looking for someone else when he told me that he wasn't looking for anyone else. What should I do? He seems to like me, he wants me to meet his parents, and all his buddys and he asked me not to see someone else I was sort of talking to, he seems to into me, but I am so afraid of getting attached and him getting that job, and me not seeing him but a few times if at all a week, and I don't want to tell him that it bothers me that he is/might get that job because I just don't think I should, I need some input. Thanks!

[artyemi]

Let things run its course. If you don't take risk, you'll never know where it's going to go.

Of if you prefer to lose him because of worrying about being attach, it's your choice.

[Tone]

That was a pretty long sentence froggy!

[froggy21]

well ya know how it goes, on and on and on...

[froggy21]

There is about 5 sentences there.

[artyemi]

I sense that you're afraid of getting hurt.

I sense that you're afraid of becoming too attached.

Why?

[froggy21]

because I was in a three year relationship and he cheated on me, and I scared to let anyone in right now. But his guy is a great guy, and I would be stupid not to let him in, I just don't know how to do it.

[artyemi]

i forgot who, but someone posted this once on the forum.

we tend to carry on lessons from the past relationship into the current one.

remember, it wasn't the current person who did it to us.

[whaywardj]

It was froggy, I believe, Arty. This is the other end of the same story. I think.

Froggy: You're trying to think about too many things at once. Sort out the issues so you can get things to a manageable size your mind can get its arms around.

You mention being cautious about opening up again; seeing him only a few times a week; wondering if he'll be faithful when he's not with with you; not wanting to tell him you'd rather he didn't take the job or travel; and so on.

Each one of these things is a different matter and you need to pick one of them at a time to figure out how you feel about it, and it alone, and what you want to have happen around that one BEFORE you go to do the same with next one. Trying to intuit a one-answer-fits-all won't work. You'll just keep spinning your wheels and becoming more confused. DEVELOP an answer for EACH one; one at a time. THEN step back from yourself and see what all those answers together suggest you should do about him.

[clynn]

"but a few times if at all a week"

Ummmm, ?????

That seems like a lot of time to me?