Change after "will you marry me?"

[Pandora90]

Maybe I am being high strung and over dramatic, but I have noticed a change in my fiancé since he proposed. It has been gradual...

He used to be very affectionate and lately he's not. He says its because he is tired.

Although he has never been one to give random gifts, he seems to go out of his way to avoid spending money lately. We do live together and money is tight because I'm not working at the moment, but it feels deeper than that.

He's not as thoughtful. I graduated college yesterday and he didn't even get me a card or flowers. He didn't even say "hunny I'm proud of you".

He never helps around the house and when he does (after being asked) he does things half-way and I end up redoing it.

We do still have tons of fun together and I love him to pieces. Is my marriage doomed??

[michelle23]

Dramatic changes in behavior can mean there is someone else or that he is losing interest.

When did he propose? How long have you been together? It does sound like he is having doubts-possibly for financial reasons, stress etc How long will it take you to get a job? Are you trying everything you can to contribute financially?

[Boisdevie]

He used to be very affectionate and lately he's not. He says its because he is tired.

Tired? That's just a crap excuse. So you're not shagging as often? Why has he lost interest?
Does not sound good.

Oh, and if you graduated from college yesterday you should know that the word 'hunny' is actually spelled 'honey'.

[michelle23]

can you be more specific OP? how has he changed besides being affectionate?

is he irritable, cranky? avoiding sex? picking fights? no cuddles? or kisses? turns away from you to sleep? coming home late?

give specific examples so we can help you figure out whats going on

[basilandthyme]

It's called "Bait and Switch". Now that he's got you, he's stopped the act which lured you in the first place.

[Am I crazy?]

Just a hunch but it sounds to me like he was not really ready to get engaged and maybe he was prodded or pressured into proposing by you. If you want to make somebody behave differently, just make them do something that they may not want to do. It may not be that he doesn't want to marry you, it may just be the timing with you have no income.