Did he cheat on me with my friend?

[missdt]

I know I asked this in another forum but I wanted a male perspective.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. It has been long distance for most of it (I am Italian Canadian I live in Madrid. He is Italian, he lives in Paris). We met in Paris while I was visiting a friend of mine who lives there. From there it was love and he called me all of the time, came to see me and asked me to be his girlfriend. He always had a slight wandering eye and I noticed he´d mention to his friends that I had an "attractive friend in Paris". I had no idea he thought she was so attractive. He met both of us on the same night so he could have approached her but she was speaking to another guy.

Anyway, he kept making strange remarks about her which I ignored. So I was spending a month in Paris with him last summer and I decided we should all go out and he could set her up with a friend of his. We all go out and the friend is late. So it was the three of us. MAJOR flirting was going on between the two of them. He would smile at her and her face literally turned red. She would touch his arm, and they would essentially speak french to each other even though I asked them to speak English. They went off for 20 minutes speaking alone in french. Finally her blind date came and they danced for a bit and had arranged to meet on a date. It never worked out with them.

I confided in bf that friend had not had sex for three years and he´d make inappropriate comments like he could not believe how SHE could not have had sex for three years. He continued saying he wanted to help her and what type of a friend was I not helping her?

Anyway, After that night I always had a bad feeling about those two. They work just across the street from one another as engineers. I know that they could have run into one another even though Paris is big. I saw her 2 months ago as she came to visit me and she refused to discuss my bf. She did not want to talk about him at all and was really angry with me the entire time.

She has always been extremely competitive with me. I usually got more attention than her with guys and I´ve always had serious relationships. She has always tried to flirt with guys in the past, the only difference was no one gave her the time of day. She also had slept with a married man in the past so..let´s say her conscience isn´t her best attribute.

While my friend was visiting me, she met a guy in Madrid and she decided she too wanted to engage in the back and forth Madrid and Paris deal.
She invited the guy to Paris and the other weekend, while my bf was coming to see me, they were on the same flight. She did not say they were, she just texted me RANDOMLY as I haven´t heard from her in months and said "hey, i´m coming to Madrid I´m at the airport so excited!" I knew that she must´ve seen my bf in order to write that to me.

he said that he saw her from afar but they never spoke on the plane.

He gets out of the plane and the first thing he said was "let´s go". i told him no I wanted to wait for her and see them together I joked.
He and her saw each other, she practically ignored him, we all made small talk and went our ways. My bf was so furious after this ordeal. I asked what his problem was, and he said I was ridiculous. I asked perhaps it was him seeing her with another guy? He went so crazy on me he started calling me stupid in the metro.

My friend returned to Paris on Tuesday, my bf on Sunday. Today my bf called me this mornign and he seemed a bit strange. He told me "oh did u know airports yesterday in Paris were really busy because of a storm? I know this because my sister in law told me" and I thought... why did he have to tell me how he knew? he could have known it from her as she flew back on tuesday. His sis in law lives in Italy and had no reason to check Parisian flights.

He now refers to my friend, who he once loved and thought so well of, like garbage, she´s trash,etc.. and again as I said she refuses to talk about him unless there is any news about our future.

Let me first say that he also kissed another girl while on vacation last summer and also saw an ex behind my back. This was all a year ago though and yes we were exclusive but I can´t shake the bad feeling about these two.

Also, I saw on his phone once (yes I know its bad) that he deleted all of the messages from him and his friend (the one he once set her up with).

Tell me if I´m nuts or reasonable here.

[michelle23]

oh for gawds sake. you are in denial hun. let us know when you snap out of it. You could get 1 million people saying yes hes a cheat and you still wont believe it

[whatwhatwhit]

second to what michelle said. he cheated on you before the friend incident? And you still stayed? Run far far away... don't look back. Maybe it's different in France, but in the States when someone cheats. Its done and over!

[searock]

He is clearly a liar and a cheat. You are very insecure for putting up with his bs for all this time. It's time for you to regain your self-respect. Dump his lying ass - you don't even owe him an explanation. And stop seeing that "friend" of yours too. They are both destructive persons, you don't need them in your life.

[jonnybegood]

I wouldn't talk to either ever again let alone see them.
In my book a kiss is cheating and crossed that line we've done, and from the details you've provided sounds like he went further than just cheating, he may even be still seeing her, and just not be very good at hiding the fact so the only way is to call her black & blue.
Find yourself a nice local lad and find something real.