I'm mad because my boyfriend shaved his beard

[kimhotcake]

So about a week ago, my boyfriend finally got a job after over a year of looking. For it, he had to shave his beard. We've been dating a little over a year, and the beard has really grown on me. I played with it all the time. I was also very supportive of him while he was unemployed, and listened to many nights of him feeling depressed. I also did some other stuff to help him advertise himself.

But as soon as he got the job, he acted like it was all him. And he shaved his beard, which he knows I loved, with no warning at all. I feel like he wants me to be around for all this support, then the moment he has success, he doesn't think of me at all. I have not been physical with him at all since he got the job, and I don't know what to say, because obviously getting mad over a beard is shallow and stupid.

He finally got fed up and yelled at me today. We haven't been sleeping together, and if I don't do anything, I probably won't see him for days, which a part of me is fine with. He's too much sometimes.

How should I approach this?

[basilandthyme]

If him shaving his beard is the worst problem you two have, then you are very lucky to have such a good relationship.

[surfhb2]

So about a week ago, my boyfriend finally got a job after over a year of looking. For it, he had to shave his beard. We've been dating a little over a year, and the beard has really grown on me. I played with it all the time. I was also very supportive of him while he was unemployed, and listened to many nights of him feeling depressed. I also did some other stuff to help him advertise himself.

But as soon as he got the job, he acted like it was all him. And he shaved his beard, which he knows I loved, with no warning at all. I feel like he wants me to be around for all this support, then the moment he has success, he doesn't think of me at all. I have not been physical with him at all since he got the job, and I don't know what to say, because obviously getting mad over a beard is shallow and stupid.

He finally got fed up and yelled at me today. We haven't been sleeping together, and if I don't do anything, I probably won't see him for days, which a part of me is fine with. He's too much sometimes.

How should I approach this?

You cant possibly be that lame can you?!?

[CleanCut]

Jeeze, must be tough Let the man do what he needs with HIS beard.

[searock]

He did nothing wrong IMO... I also like my boyfriend's beard, and I don't like it when he shaves it off completely, but hey, it's HIS beard and he can do whatever he wants with it. It's like if he got angry if you got a haircut or got your nails done or something. Seriously, it's not a problem and you shouldn't be mad. Are you sure there aren't underlying issues and the beard is just a scapegoat for your frustration?

[4 ratties]

You sound really controlling. It's his hair. Would u need to ask him if you could get a haircut? I really hope the answer is no. This is rediculous.

[TablesandChairs]

You're a control freak and now that he's no longer unemployed and down, you're not liking it. Is it really just about the beard? If it is, you need to change of you'll lose him to someone without your temper.

[michelle23]

You have to be willing and able to adapt to changes in a relationship. People change. He's gonna lose his hair at some point to.. can you handle that? Can he handle it if you have a baby and it takes a year to lose the baby weight? If not, then you dont really love each other.

I dont think this is about the beard though. I think your pissed coz hes not dependent on you anymore and your scared his new job will finish you. If it does then you were never good together in the first place.

[michelle23]

haha ^^ good one

[Am I crazy?]

Op, so.... if you decide to make a change in your appearance do you need to confirm that is ok with your BF first? or do you just go with it. Without knowing what type of employment he just got, if shaving the beard was part of the job requirements to look professional then you have no beef. Would you rather have a man with a paycheck or a beard?

[NotToday]

I absolutely agree with Michelle23. The beard isn't what this is about...you two should talk, preferably in a calm and mature manner.

[Boisdevie]

If you like beards so much can't you grow your own instead. Or buy one of those false beards?

[Rowen]

If him shaving his beard is the worst problem you two have, then you are very lucky to have such a good relationship.

Agreed...unless their relationship consists of picking apart every tiny bit of everything.