Small guys are better off dead.

[bob the brave]

one thing you guys need to learn. women who stay with men who treat them badly have issues. maybe they got no attention off daddy or he was a bad role model,
maybe they have low self esteem/insecurity which makes them thing they cant do any better, maybe they were bullied or abused or maybe they think if they can be the one to tame him it makes her special.

its funny how guys like you lot chase girls who want a bad boy when those bad boys would prob cut their own arm off to get the type of woman only you guys can get.
they are settling for the damaged, insecure women coz healthy, confident women dont give them the time of day..

Yea, I have heard these theories before. They make sense and probably are true, but that means there are very, very few well adjusted, confident women. (Obviously, few well adjusted men as well.) I am good guy that can deal with issues. But I never get the chance. I could help, but I never can.

What I don't get is in my case a girl rejected me making short jokes, yada, yada, then hooked up with a married player who is at best less than an inch taller (though he's got me by 30 lbs) and is the most immature db I have ever seen. I thought fine and let them be. Then she got hurt and came running back to me. I declinced, not because she ****** another guy or rejected me, I could get beyond that. It was her choices that I believed showed a lack of integrity that simply couldn't be overlooked.

Well, now she is married (not the player) and pregnant. She dropped all her bad habits (gutter talk, drinking, smoking all gone) and appears to a great person and very happy. The player couldn't care less as he got what he wanted. I was so hurt, I work with these people everyday and haven't said a word to either of them for a year. I had to sit at a table with her and her 6'1" 230 lb husband for my boss's daughter's batmitzvah. For me this was horribly painful and very ackward. No one said anything. I played a lot of napkin hockey.

All becuase of my size. I mean what else am I to think? She ran off after she asked my height and made short jokes. You can say this girl is mean, maladjusted, her marriage won't last, I dodged a bullet. But the truth is I bet her husband was never shown the same girl I was. He knows a different girl than I did. I am tired of girls trashing on me and showing me a bad side they don't show others, becuase of my size. These guys would have no idea of what I am talking about. It is like I live in a different world and it is not a pleasent one.

I am a good guy, gregarious, outgoing, open-minded, adventureous, yada, yada. I don't like being alone. I am tired of carrying the pain of episodes like this, while others and included and happy. I have thought of suicide many times. But, to date, never have for one reason: the injustice of one having to take their own life just seems too wrong.

I have recently quit my job due to this. I am a trained fighter and I am seriously thinking of beating the **** out of the player before I leave. He instigated a lot of the Pee Wee insults and came braiging to me in private when he ****** her just to hurt me and stroke his ego. I love the bosses and they me, so no problem there. Although I don't wish to create a work issue for them to deal with. Both the player and the girl knew what they were doing was wrong and hurtful. I could see it in their eyes. They are nice to others, but because it was me, it's ok to act this way. I just want people to understand the injustice, the pain it causes and I don't think they will get it any other way.

[michelle23]

hun karma is a b**ch. they will get what they deserve-dont you worry about that.

you should have reported those two for their bullying and harrassment.

anyway who the f**k are they? two messed up damaged people with no morals or integrity. two v small fish in a huge pond who should not breath the same air as you.

you gotta get over this hurt, get her out of your head. so one girl you had a crush on was mean to you? shes prob a narcissistic b**ch who you couldnt possibly have a healthy relationship with even if you were over 6" and had arms the size of my head.

i think if you manage to get over this rejection than you will be in a healthy place to meet the right woman but your not gonna find her if your head is in the clouds as you feel sorry for yourself over one nasty cunt.

most women are not like that and you did dodge a bullet here. you should be grateful for that

[HeartIsAching]

YC, I honestly am still confused about what to do. The exact same thing happened to me. Girl at work, everthing going great then she asked my height right out of the blue. After I told her she avoided me like the plauge for weeks and made short jokes. I know your pain and frustration.


What about the person inside? Does this mean nothing? The girl at work new I was a nice guy, she said so herself as a compliment. But she chose a married db player. He would call me pee wee and make other insulting remarkes about my size. She saw him do this. He evenutally hurt her and she returned to me. By then I had no choice but to decline. The whole thing is stupid, painful and a loss for both. Only the player got what he wanted, while two others are left a broke heart and a lost future that may have been very promising for both.

But here is what I don't understand. Didn't she, like the girl you were talking to, already know your relative height. What kind of girl wants a number? And the player is, at best, only and inch taller then me, though he does have me by 50 lbs. But, I am solid muscle and get approached by people on the street for training advice. The player is fat. Do we give off such negative vibes when asked about our height that it turns girls off. I just don't understand.

I have heard people say women instinctively look for protection and providing ability. I have seen so many women attracted and stay with 'big' guys even when they treat them like crap. They know this, they know the little guy next door would be the perfet guy, but decline. I can even see the sadness on their faces some times in doing this. It's amazing. This hypnotizing effect of height often hurts both women and small guys because the true valued qualities are overlooked and ignored. What are we to do? I just think it is very sad.

BTW, I lived in China for 2 years. (No not to date Asian women lol). Despite the hype, Asian women are EXACTLY the same, at least Chinese women, Janpanese women may be different. What I found was that they liked American men BECAUSE they are TALL and RICH. If you are small, they figure they can get that at home without all the complexities and they pass just the same.

The thing to realize in those situations is that that particular girl has an issue with your height - not GIRLS. Quit lumping 'em all together, quit *gasp* being sexist. If a particular girl isn't interested in you for *whatever* reason, shrug your shoulders and move on to the next candidate. Don't take it personally.

Hey, I'm a good-looking guy, I'm 5'10" and 168Lbs (so not terribly big/muscular OR effeminate). I also have a beard and tattoos. I don't drive much if at all (bicycle mostly), and I smoke/drink too much. I'm NOT every woman's cup of tea. So what? Personally I don't give a shit.

I got lucky, I found my one-and-only, the one who thinks that I'm not-perfect-but-perfect-for-her and vice-versa... but I firmly believe that if you keep looking, you'll find yours. You do have to look, though, in the places where you have a SHOT at finding your dream-girl. Meaning you have to have some mutual interests and activities. Maybe it'll be on an internet forum about collectible Hot Wheels or Star Wars memorabilia... or maybe it'll be kite-flying or cross-country skiing, or kayaking or bird-watching or what-the-hell ever, but you have GOT to be looking in the right places. I met mine at a historical re-enactment. We share a similarly bizarre sense of humor, a love of cooking, and a love of athletic, frequent and often kinky sex. We DON'T see eye-to-eye on music, though we're both learning from the other, and the same for movies and books.

I know this has been a bit long-winded, but I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that you've GOT to keep looking, and DON'T stereotype if SOME girls don't think you're what they're looking for - others will.

[bob the brave]

Ok, thanks everyone for your advice. It has helped al lot. I will stop beyotching now, canvas Star Trek convetions and see what happens. To HeartIsAching, I'm glad it no longer is.

Cheers!

[HeartIsAching]

canvas Star Trek convetions and see what happens.

Yes! This sort of thing. Go with friends... make costumes. Have fun, talk to girls.

[rafterman]

canvas Star Trek convetions

maybe a woman will beam down....Scotty ?

[Kromat83]

why should height become a factor of someone wanting to like me ?
I'm only 5'7, 165-170, but I don't let that determine my personality.

I'll use what I got to attract someone, it's all about confidence and if you like the person that you are, they'll respect and appreciate your company.

[namemyname]

5'9" isn't that short. Most guys who say they're 5'10", are actually 5'8".

I've dated guys from 5'9", to 6'5". My ex whom I lived with, is 5'9". I'm 5'6", btw, and wear heels all the time.

Cut the defeatist attitude. That's what is killing your action - not your height.

[JoeyFromFriends]

i am a little over 6 ft andi never have trouble getting a girl. i would hatte to be veryshort it sounds likea diffcalt life

[basilandthyme]

Ok, thanks everyone for your advice. It has helped al lot. I will stop beyotching now, canvas Star Trek convetions and see what happens. To HeartIsAching, I'm glad it no longer is.

Cheers!

I went to a pop culture expo a couple of weekends ago. Absolutely chock full of young, geeky women who love pop culture. Knock yourself out! Even better, find one who likes cosplay ;-)

[Philip123]

Agree with this 5'4 and below is where men maybe start to have an issue, I'm 5'6 never, some times in life had my height mentioned but it's not the biggest hang up, plenty of women below my height.

Man is not measured by their height, but by their Heart.

[avine]

Agree with Eldar, your height is not important to the chemistry of attraction. I am 5'8" was seeing a guy 5'4" and he was one of the most attractive men i was ever with and not once has his height bothered me.

[Kromat83]

Why would height bother anyone ? it will make it harder to dance, but you just have to adjust.
If your mentality makes you think this way, that is the expression that you'll portray, and no one wil like you.

I'm only 5 foot 7, and i'm tall enough, and don't need to be 6 foot.
Stop bitching, and show them the person that she can have fun with.

[YoungCosmo]

Agree with Eldar, your height is not important to the chemistry of attraction. I am 5'8" was seeing a guy 5'4" and he was one of the most attractive men i was ever with and not once has his height bothered me.

Height is a huge problem since most girls subconsciously AND consciously think of dating in terms of Darwinism and natural selection. Women are so "empowered"today but rather than learn to defend themselves, they pick men to date and give sex to in exchange for a free bodyguard (and other things).

[YoungCosmo]

5'9" isn't that short. Most guys who say they're 5'10", are actually 5'8".

I've dated guys from 5'9", to 6'5". My ex whom I lived with, is 5'9". I'm 5'6", btw, and wear heels all the time.

Cut the defeatist attitude. That's what is killing your action - not your height.

Notice that not a single man 5'8 and below factors into your dating history..