Why would my older boyfriend (12 yrs older) want to know every man that contacts me?

[Wakeup]

Sweet, talk to him and get your answers from him. There is little to no sense in just telling you to leave him. When you love someone it's often hard to see the forest for the trees so you (the general you) need to figure out that you're doing the right thing on your own. No matter how many people who don't even know you tell you to just leave him, you won't until you've satisfied yourself that you're better off without him, then with him. You are'nt someone who has ignored things for half a lifetime just to come here and vent but stay. You are someone who knows what they want and if you're not going to get it then I think you're smart enough to not settle for crumbs the rest of your life. If you are, well best learn to deal then because if after you talk to him and he doesnt' make an effort to change it up and be more attentive then he never will.

Think smart and logically and you'll be looking after your own interests (for a change).

[sweet42]

I guess I am just trying to understand him. I actually tried to go and talk to him last week, but he was so sick that I saw him for a few minutes and had to leave. I know exactly what I want, I guess I just don't know if it is fair of me to make such demands.

[michelle23]

your nor demanding anythin. your simply just telling him what you want and need out of a relationship. he doesnt have to give it to you if he doesnt want to. then you decide whether your staying or going. simple

[sweet42]

so I send him an email and asked if I would be seeing him soon, here is what I got:

"Leaving here Friday afternoon. I have a wedding Sat. I'm not sure of the weeks schedule. When I get back and look hopefully there will be some time during the week"

I said I understand and asked him if he really wanted this relationship.

[Wakeup]

What? He didn't eveninvite you as his escort to the wedding? Have you even met any of his friends or relatives?

[sweet42]

no, he is going with his older daughter as it is her friend who is getting married. I am sick of this crap. I want to tell him in person what I think, but I don't know if I can wait until next week until he can pencil me in.

[Wakeup]

Have you met any of his friends or family?

[sweet42]

I have met a few of his friends.

[michelle23]

girl hes married. im telling you. your his bit on the side. ring him tonight at 3am-see if a woman answers. have you googled him? do you even know where he lives?

[sweet42]

Yes, I do know where he lives, etc. I am feeling like a complete fool right now.

[michelle23]

he does sound v dodgy. i think you are worth more than a guy who puts you on his "to do" list. even the emails you get from him are formal and unnerving

i think you need to take a close look at yourself and ask yourself why you think so little of your self that you will settle for this crap.

[Wakeup]

Do you know where You live? lmao

[sweet42]

well, I just responded to him and basically told him he needs to truly tell me if he means it when he says he loves me and I am important to him. I also said that I have been feeling like I come last in his life lately and the last thing I want to be is something to do in his spare time. I am truly tired of this. I don't know why I think so little of my feelings, etc. I am an intelligent, good looking, stable woman. I am just too nice, that is the problem and agreeable. That is exactly how I felt, like I was being put on his to do list. I told you sometimes he sends these very formal emails and other times he will be more caring, etc. I don't like it. I don't talk to him that way. I am always sweet and nice. Well, this last message I sent was not very nice, but basically I told him I feel like I come last in his life.

[smackie9]

well, I just responded to him and basically told him he needs to truly tell me if he means it when he says he loves me and I am important to him. I also said that I have been feeling like I come last in his life lately and the last thing I want to be is something to do in his spare time. I am truly tired of this. I don't know why I think so little of my feelings, etc. I am an intelligent, good looking, stable woman. I am just too nice, that is the problem and agreeable. That is exactly how I felt, like I was being put on his to do list. I told you sometimes he sends these very formal emails and other times he will be more caring, etc. I don't like it. I don't talk to him that way. I am always sweet and nice. Well, this last message I sent was not very nice, but basically I told him I feel like I come last in his life.

Why do you keep chasing your tail? Dump him and move on for f uck sakes. There problem solved.

[sweet42]

I dont know.