Bf's best female friend ( They call BFF)

[Hth]

My Main question is that he has a Female Friend from long time ago, as he claimed it was about 10 years, and i see she was all over his facebook. He won't comment or like when i will post stuff to his Fb Wall, even our pictures together, and he won't post a picture of Us together. But he posted many pictures of Her on his FB in the past ( They are away now).

It made me feel uncomfortable and i asked him, he said he does not use facebook a lot which is not true, he would reply if she will post on his wall, not all the time but for me it's a total ignorance. Some days ago i posted a funny cartoon, he seemed to delete it but he did not admit, he only sent me a private msg say it was funny. Then she posted on his fb with a picture, and he replied to it right away, then she said she knew he would like it...

It made me feel like she understood what he likes and she prooves it to my face? I don't know what to think but i wonder what kind of friendship that they seem to be together most of the time, like on her FB all i see is their pictures and some pictures she took with his sister in law, she even made a special picture with message:she is sad because they are away while it should be together - that is what the picture means. They moved to my country together...He had another fb that was created years ago and i check it out, he posted their pictures together or their activities together.

I was mad about it, he told me she was the one to moved to this country ( Which is my country) with him, and that i should understand how it feels to be in a new country n your friend leaves, and as he told she is coming back soon.

I can see that during the years he had gfs, they were always friends- him n his BFF. However, i saw some msgs on his fb ( I know i should not read, but i was curious about Them), the messages seem to be platonic, however, in the past she had sent him some msgs to say thank you him for all the supporting he always gave to her blah blah, i thought he was a very careless person because he did not show that much of a caring person to me as i saw so far, but i think it was new so he was not that invested yet.

Once i asked him about them before we were dating, he told me they mentioned of it, and agreed that they don't want to risk the relationship to lose their friendship....? Does that mean that he liked her and she rejected him?

Now, i don't feel comfortable about them at all, i wonder if this is because i'm creating troubles and i'm paranoid, or you see that there is something between them no matter what? I always see her posting the cartoons or stuff that he likes, and to be honest i don't like the same things as him, even his music... I think lately we fought a lot, so he kinda distant himself from me, i guess they are talking a lot again now, which make me feel really sad. I don't know what to think anymore . Please help!

[basilandthyme]

Hth, if your attraction has died for him and you've got nothing left to talk about it....AND it's long distance..... then it's time to end things. It's Ok to end a relationship which has died a natural death.

The concerns about his female friend don't make any difference really.

[Eldar]

I completely agree with Basil. Long Distance Relationships NEVER work in the end.

[michelle23]

Just break up with him. Hes probably secretly in love with her. Stay away from men who have close female friends. Best of luck

[Hth]

So there is no best friend between men and women? :-?

Can someone share your experience in this please? Thanks.

[Archie]

Girls and boys can't be friends, ever.
It may be different for girls, hence the friendzone myth, but for guys, if we are attracted to someone - that's it, we will want more. Guys don't want to hang out with girls who they are not interested in, if there's even a smidge of something in common between the two, that peaks our interest.

[Calvin]

i've honestly done this before. i dont know what he thinks of her, whether as a friend or otherwise. but i do know he doesn't really want to publicize the relationship you have. take from that what you may

[searock]

Yes guys and girls can be friends, but not "bffs" or anything that close. Things you should look out for:

. they keep in contact every day or almost every day
. they regularly go out on platonic dates with each other (dinner, movie, etc)
. they talk about their romantic relationships in detail with each other
. they regularly keep in contact at night (roughly after 10 pm and before 9 am)
. they regularly share physical contact with each other, even if it's "only" hugs

These are only some of the signals that indicate that the "friendship" is actually more likely a situation in which at least one of the two has feelings for the other person.

Hth, why have you edited out the part in which you talk about the fact that your relationship is long-distance? Is your boyfriend in the same town as his "BFF"? If so, it is even more likely that he is "using" her as a substitute for the intimacy he should have with you. For how long have you and your boyfriend been together before going long-distance? Will you be ending the long-distance anytime soon?

[Hth]

i dont know if we can get together really soon but lately he said it is impossible to please me. And he will always wants to quit talking to go to sleep. He does not response to my messages like before and many times while we were chatting he will quit without talking anything.

I said i wanted to break up, and all he said was ok ok like he was tired of all the explaining! It was really sad, he said bye now, we do have relationship status on FB, i asked him to removed cause i had no PC n he said i must do it because i wanted to break up not him, then he said Bye now. Then the next morning, he will text in the early morning to say he was sick n take care of him then we will make up again.

It seems like she is coming there to where he is Soon, i dont know why she keeps coming to him and he told me she is like a sister in the family and it's gross to think as i said is there friendship platonic? I asked if any of them ever liked each other n he said No.

But before we got together, we were friends by that time and he told me they talked about It once, but they did not want to risk the friendship??!!!!

His family and friends know we are together, i just dont know why he seems not to post our pics or like or comment on anything on my page and stuff i post on his page even if it's sweet... it hurts me! Sigh!

So, i should think of their friendship as not Platonic then? Why didnt they get together for those 8 years so far? I dont get it!!!

[anonymous_a]

His friendship with her does not seem healthy. Best end it, before you get hurt.

[Hth]

NO positive opinion? From males please :-(

[Starnique]

So there is no best friend between men and women? :-?

Can someone share your experience in this please? Thanks.

There may be but I really don't care. No man of mine can have a female best friend because them bitches always have other intentions. I doubt any man of mine would be cool with me having a guy bf. It's not acceptable to me. Next thing you know she telling you your man likes and dislikes, needs and wants. I dont think so.

[michelle23]

just by the way he has been behaving lately-I doubt this girl is a "friend" or a "bff". She pops into his life and all of a sudden hes distant, not responding to messages, not as enthusiastic about speaking to you, didnt care when you dumped him..

Id say this girl is a new lover and he is lying through his teeth pretending he has known her for years..

A friend of mine did that. She was fed up of her ex and she started chatting to this guy from America online. Her bf sussed out what she was doing and confronted her-she lied and said she met him in Florida when she was there a few years ago and they promised to stay in touch-hes just a friend blah blah blah. Turns out she was having cybersex with him the whole time

Just break up with him and this time mean it and dont give him any more chances. The only female he should be this close to is you. Stay away from guys who have close female friends. Men and women cannot be that close without it getting complicated. Its exactly how affairs start and he will dump you for her if you dont wise up and kick his ass to the curb now

And please stop with all this long distance bollox. How can you trust anyone that is miles away.. I would NEVER do long distance

[yellowd]

Ok, I'm not a guy but this situation you're in doesn't sound like its just platonic on his end at least. I have been in a situation where I had friends who were males and to start at least most wanted more than friendship. If I were you I would jump ship on this one and go find a guy who will post pics of the two of you, say sweet things, etc because everyone deserves to be happy and it definitely sounds like you are not.