Got to get this girl out my head

[Wakeup]

Finding her attractive is not what I find to be fkd up. What I find fkd up is you doing that kind of wondering when you've come here because you can't get her out of your mind. Wondering if you could pull her is hardly conducive to you banishing her from renting free space in your brain.

Have fun on your date, make a point of going out together alone at least once a month. Change thoughts of this other girl when they pop into your head instead of day dreaming about being good enough for her (or not). In other words, consciously change the subject of her to someone else, like your wife (or something else) and loop your thoughts on her instead.

[rafterman]

If I were single with no kids then ofcourse I would in a heart beat, but I have self control and with a fiancée and a child then I just wouldn't even if it was on a plate for me.

Ok so whats the problem then ? Its almost like you're wanting us to give you the "green light " to pull a swifty ?

[VerticalMoon]

I'd work on trying to keep the romance alive with your fiancee. Try to spend some alone time together going out on dates or just making love at home. If you have anybody you can leave the baby with, don't be afraid to take advantage of that.

Being attracted to other people when you're in a long term relationship is fairly normal. Just make sure to keep your distance from your fiancee's friend. Don't spend any alone time with her. Keep reminding yourself of how she's too much of a princess. That way nothing will be likely to happen. Promise yourself not to hide anything from your fiancee. If anything starts to happen, you'll let her know right away. That should scare you out of allowing it to happen.

As long as you continue to give your fiancee the attention she deserves and don't cheat in any way, that's what matters. You can't always help how you feel, and sometimes just trying to stop the feelings makes them that much stronger. But just makes sure it remains as feelings and nothing more.. If you try to remind yourself of her bad qualities and focus more on your fiancee, that can help redirect those feelings to your fiancee as well.

[michelle23]

this is one reason why id never date an insecure guy ever. needing validation from others or attention-just not worth it.

tell your partner you want more sex. say you understand things are different now with a new baby but you dont want "us" to suffer as a result and risk growing a part. tell her we need to focus on more intimacy, affection, romance, sex as its important to keep you both close to each other.

if your not happy with something-man up and spit it out. i doubt she would hold back if she had a problem. you need to communicate and resolve any issues asap to avoid you craving someone else.

you should be happier than you have ever been-new baby, fiance, future. you have everything. stop wanting more and put all that energy into your wonderful family. plenty of guys would cut their arm off to have what you have. do you know how many people never find love and would do anything to have someone special? a lot.

perhaps you should start thinking "what if she were having the same thoughts about some other bloke? what if she left me tomorrow? what if i came home to an empty house and she is gone? what if i never find this type of love again? make yourself worry about losing her and that will take your thoughts off the other bird.

[Regeneration13]

Well we went to the cinema today, I know not the best date place but we both enjoy it. It was nice spending some couples time together without the baby, it felt good and comfortable.

I think the infatuation with this girls kicks in when times are tough, when stress is high etc. it's my escape I guess where I wonder what life would be like with this girl.

As I sit here now typeing this, I am happy with my little world so the infatuation isn't there. I am a man and I can be an idiot.

[Wakeup]

It's not just men that can "be an idiot." It's important that you keep the emotional connection between you and your wife going strong. DO get away regularily with just you and her and make your times with her your zen.

[Regeneration13]

It's not just men that can "be an idiot." It's important that you keep the emotional connection between you and your wife going strong. DO get away regularily with just you and her and make your times with her your zen.

I know not all women are angels and not all men are saints. The mrs and I will never loose out emotional attachment, she is the girl who chased me around the play ground when we were young.

Before I hooked up with the mrs, I had very few experiences with other girls, again through lack of confidence and shyness. I sometimes wonder if I should have explored a little more. Not to say that I'm not happy.

[michelle23]

stop thinking the grass is greener. it rarely ever is. find a better way to escape from reality such as a sport, hobby, hanging out with a male friend.

banging more women oesnt boost your self esteem-that comes from within you. actually if youd banged 50women your ego would prob be even more fragile. the guys who come on here with a rep like that are usually the ones with the biggest insecurity issues especially when it comes to trusting women. it doesnt fix them-normally just makes them worse