Got to get this girl out my head

[Regeneration13]

Hello all, first time poster so be gentle lol

I am a UK based 27 year old guy with a fiancée and a 5 month old baby. The problem I am facing is that I cannot get this girl out of my head, problem being this girl is my fiancées best mate.

The girl in question is beautiful and seems to have a good personality. We haven't spoken much so I can't really judge her too well, but the chats we have had have always been good.

The girl has a fella who is a bit of a pretty boy, in my opinion men should be men and not pretty boys who take longer to get ready than most women. I don't think he also realises what he has with this girl aswell, she could do a lot better.

I some how need to stop thinking about this girl, I know it's just lust and not love. This girl is a bit of a princess and that's not for me at all. I can't just have sex with her as I would never ever do that as I love my family more than life itself.

I fear this may cause problems as I find myself talking to my fiancée about the girl and I think she is getting the impression that I fancy the pants off her best mate.

[michelle23]

Its just infatuation. So what if she is good looking. Get over it. You know yourself that nothing can happen and you don't want to lose your family. Focus on your partner. Is there anything wrong with your relationship? Any issues that need fixing? Thinking the grass is greener can stem from not being fully satisfied at home. If there is anything wrong-talk to your partner and try to fix it if there is.

How long have you had this crush? Is it a recent thing? Maybe you are trying to escape from reality coz you are not dealing very well with all the changes that occur with a new baby?

Whatever it is-you need to focus on fixing it

[Regeneration13]

I know nothing can happen with this girl and I have accepted that. My relationship is good with my mrs, but it's lacking the physical part at the moment. When it comes to the baby I have to admit its tough and takes some getting used to.

The infatuation is probably correct, it comes and goes really

[michelle23]

Thats the problem. Lack of intimacy right now which is perfectly normal coz you have a new baby to think of. It takes time to get back to normal. I think you just need to be patient. They say if she is not fully back to normal after 6 months-then she needs to see a doctor encase their is a hormonal or physical problem. It could just be exhaustion. Do you do all you can to help her to ensure she has more energy for you?

[rafterman]

I know nothing can happen with this girl

Really ? I reckon if she gave you the chance to nail her you would ?

[Regeneration13]

Really ? I reckon if she gave you the chance to nail her you would ?

If I were single with no kids then ofcourse I would in a heart beat, but I have self control and with a fiancée and a child then I just wouldn't even if it was on a plate for me.

[michelle23]

If I were single with no kids then ofcourse I would in a heart beat, but I have self control and with a fiancée and a child then I just wouldn't even if it was on a plate for me.

There is nothing wrong with finding other people attractive. That is normal. However, if you find yourself thinking about her when she is not around-that is danger zone

[Wakeup]

I think it's time you and your gf find a reliable babysitter (either of your parents/siblings perhaps?) and get away for a romantic over-nighter. Bring the focus back to you two as a romantic couple rather then two parents who happen to live together.

Too many young people forget that your partner comes first (aside from the babies physical needs and well being, of course.) and when that happens, one or the other starts finding someone other then their SO pretty darn enticing. Fix this soon, Regeneration.

[michelle23]

Yes I agree with WU. You do need to focus on each other. Start doing date nights also-whatever you can afford (weekly, monthly) and if you have to put sex on the calender to fit it in-do it.

Life changes dramatically with babies. You have to make a bigger effort to nurture what you have and keep the spark and romance alive. Otherwise you will grow apart

[Regeneration13]

I don't feel that it is making a dramatic effect on my relationship at the moment, but I understand that I need to keep this in check.

There is nothing wrong about finding this girl attractive but I just can't let it get out of hand.

If things were different and I was single, I dont think I would stand a chance with this girl, I do have low
Confidence and I don't think I would have the balls the approach her.

[michelle23]

You shouldnt be thinking that way. Your not single. Your planning to get married and spend your life with your partner and raise a family together. Insecure people have a tendebcy to lean towards "the grass is always greener" syndrome. Work on boosting your confidence so you dont take this woman you love for granted.

People with low self-esteem tend to think they are "settling for second best". I hope your not one of them after being with this girl for 7years.

[toyboy]

GEt a girlfriend

[Regeneration13]

GEt a girlfriend

I have a fiancée which doesn't make this situation any better

[Wakeup]

I don't feel that it is making a dramatic effect on my relationship at the moment, but I understand that I need to keep this in check.

There is nothing wrong about finding this girl attractive but I just can't let it get out of hand.

If things were different and I was single, I dont think I would stand a chance with this girl, I do have low
Confidence and I don't think I would have the balls the approach her.

Do you have the balls to take your future wife and the mother of your child out for a romantic overnighter or at the very least a date night out without the baby in tow?

Frankly, whether or not you'd be able to pull this chick if you were single is neither here nor there and why you'd even have the need to wonder that out loud is kinda fkd up.

[Regeneration13]

Do you have the balls to take your future wife and the mother of your child out for a romantic overnighter or at the very least a date night out without the baby in tow?

Frankly, whether or not you'd be able to pull this chick if you were single is neither here nor there and why you'd even have the need to wonder that out loud is kinda fkd up.

The mrs and I are going to the cinema tomorrow which will be nice to spend some time together. I think this all started after the birth of our daughter, the romance side kind of went due to the huge commitment which is understandable.

With regards to the comment about thinking if I could be with this girl being "fkd up" I don't really think it is. Even though I am taken 100% i would still like to remain attractive to other girls, just for a bit of confidence really. I am by no means ugly but I'm no brad Pitt either