Im about to cheat and I need help.....

[daredevil]

Greetings to the good people of this forum. I dont post regularly but I need help... Thus ive come to you with my dilemma. Ive been with my girlfriend for over two years and we both love each other very much so. We lost it to each other at 17 and she was my first real relationship as well (I didnt date much in the years before that and maybe went on 1 date before that hah). She loves me dearly and shes been with alot of guys before me with up to 8 or 9 previous flings/boyfriends (now i know what youre thinking and yes im 100% sure she lost it to me as i broke her hymen).

The main issue that arises is this; I cant stop looking at other girls... I cant stop thinking, fantasizing about sleeping with as many women as possible and I feel like these feelings are only exacerbated by the fact that she was my first. I feel like theres alot out there that im missing out on and pretty much feel tied down so to speak. On the very wonderful flipside of the coin is that I love this girl and would protect her from anything and be there for her no matter what if she ever needed me. Ive never been able to talk to this girl like I have with any other girls and shes quite beautiful and constantly gets attention from other men. Deep down in the rational depths of my heart that I wont be able to find anyone like her and I really want a future with her...

Ive talked to her before about my issues with attraction to other women... weve gone through almost absolute hell with the fights, trust issues, arguements and countless almost break ups. Its funny how ive always sworn to protect her and destroy anything that harms her but ultimately ive caused more harm and pain then anything I ever could have protected her from. Now lets get to the reasoning behind why im planning to cheat and how I really need you guys to help me with your take on this.

Im about to cheat because I feel like if I dont ever go out and experience what I need to when im younger, ill be alot older with more responsibility and commitment towards her. This will lead me to look back and resent the fact that i couldnt explore when i was younger and horribly enough go out to resent her for this.... I know she deserves a guy who can stay with her and treat her right and I feel like if I do the exploring on my own in discretion ill be able to get over this stupid itching desire/phase and be the man she deserves..... If that makes any sense whatsoever... help

[miki036]

Oh just a friendly advice.. Do break up with her first., Don't cheat on her to explore..
Explore without commitment.,.
and when you finally satisfy that, then ask her if she would like to be with you still..
What would you do if she finds out that you've been cheating on her while you were together? It might end up worse than if you'd break up with her first..

[michelle23]

dont cheat on her. its not worth shattering her confidence and self esteem. i was cheated on at 17 and its the worst feeling in the world. it took time for me to be able to trust people again-i pushed everyone close to me awy, any guy who tried to get close for 2years was pushed away and i felt not good enough for anyone. if youlove this girl you wont want to do that to her.

and a relationship that is built on a lie is a sham and id rather know the truth than be with someone who is lying to me.

you need to break up with her. if you want to be the man she deserves then end this relationship now. go and see if the grass is greener or not. if you two are really good together-you will find your way back to each other

[Empty Road]

when you finally satisfy that

It won't happen. Trying to satisfy his lust for women by having more sex with them isn't going to do it. He'll settle down when he realizes he is getting old and girls aren't as responsive, but he'll still continue to fantasize about them. Just ask any honest married man.

[miki036]

What I mean is his curiosity.. eventually, he'll feel lonely..
without real love, his heart ought to be empty

It won't happen. Trying to satisfy his lust for women by having more sex with them isn't going to do it. He'll settle down when he realizes he is getting old and girls aren't as responsive, but he'll still continue to fantasize about them. Just ask any honest married man.

[michelle23]

some men are not built for relationships-wanting to shag as many as possible. thats an ego thing for insecure people-plenty dont feel the need to do that.. he may never feel secure enough to settle down.

[rylege]

DO NOT CHEAT!!!! It is worst thing you can do to a significant other and can have emotional ramifications for years to come. In addition, instead of being looked upon as a trustworthy and stand up man, you will be looked upon as a pitiful and cruel. You do not want these things.

If you are insistent on exploring, then be honest with her up front and break up officially.

I will also add, that if you feel this way then I question your love for her. Caring about someone is not the same as deep feelings of true love. Try not to confuse the two. It sounds like you have feelings of familiarity and friendship and not those that rise to the level of true deep passionate feelings for her.

Think deep and hard on this before making any decision. BUT DO NOT CHEAT! EVER!!!!!!!!!

[michelle23]

ya its true. its not just woman who wont trust a cheat. men dont either. one of the guys my bf works with is a cheat and all the lads at work couldnt stand him and were really wary of him around their gfs.. if you want that kinda rep with nobody trusting you again-go ahead. remember once a cheat always a cheat. when people talk about you in future thats all they will say.

[lalalita]

this happens to a lot of people who get into serious relationships at a young age, without getting to "explore" before hand. before you break up with her, be prepared to sleep with another girl and completely regret it and come running back to a girl who may not give you a second chance. if you love her like you say you do, you need to think about what is more important to you. your love for her or getting your dick wet.

she deserves someone who is going to want her and only her.

[bcgirl]

Daredevil is very young. At his age he shouldn't be tied down to a relationship. Do go out and explore and meet/date/shag other women. This is what your youth is about so that way you have experiences to know what you want out of a life partner. Anyone under 21 should not be planning their weddings. However don't cheat on her. Allow her to explore as well...later down the road you'll be thankful you did

[Hawkeye]

Alright I see the big dilemma. Sometimes doing what is right is the hardest. I wouldn't cheat, if you guys are separate go have some fun. Idk just my two cents. Best of luck

[sadbunnyface]

Take a relationship time out, be honest why with your gf, let her know it IS about you, and nothing she has done to make you want the break or want you to cheat/stray. You will hurt her by telling her this, but you will still keep her trust because you were man enough to be honest and say you do love and respect her in your own way, you have your own issues thou apart from her. The other way you go out and cheat you hurt her and you lose her her trust, one imo is better than the other if you are set on cheating. Because she will eventually find out that you cheated if you lie, it always comes back around, karma.

[dickriculous]

Ive talked to her before about my issues with attraction to other women... weve gone through almost absolute hell with the fights, trust issues, arguements and countless almost break ups. Its funny how ive always sworn to protect her and destroy anything that harms her but ultimately ive caused more harm and pain then anything I ever could have protected her from. Now lets get to the reasoning behind why im planning to cheat and how I really need you guys to help me with your take on this.

This paragraph makes it sound like the relationship is very close to being done for no matter what you do.

You're constantly fighting, you're had countless near breakups, she doesn't trust you (she doesn't have "trust issues" btw, you've given her every reason not to trust you)....that's a relationship worth maintaining?

It sounds like a clean break would be the best thing for both of you. You get to fukk around while you're young, she gets to find someone who legitimately wants to be committed to her, and neither of you have to put up with all this bullshit.

Relationships aren't supposed to be like this. Obviously there are hard times even in a great relationship but ultimately they are supposed to be enjoyable for both partners and when it gets to the point where the drama and negativity outweighs the positive by a wide enough margin then it's time to go your separate ways. I mean, you don't even have kids or a house payment to worry about and already things are this strained? Yeah, I'd say the long-term compatibility test has come back negative. Sorry bro.

[daredevil]

Completely agree with your take on it, have had the ol' "things would be perfect if I had just found her 10 years later..." Will definitely do that thank you.

[daredevil]

Yeah ill definitely man up and say that the issues are from me, I fully take that responsibility. Alot of what you say echoes in truth man..... it really does.