Should I be FWB?

[sarahgl19]

Hi, my name is Sarah, I’m 19 and I truly need some advice, so could you help me?
The thing is, I like a friend of mine, a lot. We know each other since high school, we are both in college now, in different universities, so we talk most of the time by Facebook, and we talk a lot.
In our chats we always say stuff that makes me wonder if he likes me or not, well I argued with him a few months ago, and he said that he knew I liked him, but he did not wanted a serious relationship and he thought that I wanted, so even though he had feelings for me (his words) he never said anything because he did not wanted to hurt me. Well, I do not want to date him, it’s a little complicated, he’s a good friend, but he is very silly, and it is fine for me, if he’s just a friend, but not as a boyfriend, the problem is that somehow I can’t stop liking him.
We are talking again, and since I told him that I liked him, and that I did not wanted to date neither, he said that we could have other kinds of relationships, then I started to talk about sex, and he said that FWB was a kind of relationship if I was talking about that, and I was, but then, I said that I was a virgin he did not believed me at first, but I explained why I’m a virgin and he understood.
We talked about that later, he said that he was a little concern about the fact that I’m a virgin, but if I wanted to be FWB he would go for it, then he asked me if I had really thought about it. And I said that I would give him an answer later, that was two weeks ago, and I never said anything about it since, and he did not ask so far.
The problem: I really want to have sex, I want it bad. But I never dated before, I never been kissed to be honest. I'm very shy. I do want to have sex, I would like to have sex with him, because he cares about me, he is a good friend, and I want to lose my virginity but not to anyone.
I’m afraid of getting hurt, because I like him, I do not want to date him, but I would like to be with him. And I think that if I start a FWB relationship later I may want a real relationship and he may not, and I would not know how to deal with it. So what do you think should I go for it? Or should I stay as friends?

[namemyname]

I vote no. You sound too vulnerable.

I waited to lose my virginity until I was 19. Not because I had some weird sense of morals, or wanted to wait until I was in love...I just saw a lot of my gf's in high school get messed up from losing their virginity to guys that used them. I wanted to wait until I felt I could handle whatever emotional fallout came afterwards. I ended up losing it to a guy that I was dating and I just felt like it was time, and I wanted to get it over with. lol

Why don't you date at all?

[kirsy]

I absolutely vote NO
congratulations I'm proud of you for being a virgin and no I'm not making fun of you lot's of girls these day lose their virginity at the age 14 honestly you should wait for the right guy some guy who wants to be in a serious relationship with you not friends with benefits.... because at the end of the day your going to regret it you may think he would want to be in a relationship with you but he doesn't might as well consider it being a F**k buddy because that's what his going to think of you.The difference between us guys and girls guys think with their dick girls think with their heart your going get really really hurt just wait for your prince charming his right around the corner somewhere

[Bo]

NO NO NO. Keep your vagina zipped up, you are not ready for this kind of relationship.

[miki036]

Goodness, it is not that you're young.. it is that you seem to be curious and vulnerable..
have some respect for yourself girl..
you only give that up to someone you love and loves you back..
and no, he does not care for you, because if he does, he would have courted you and not agree on that kind of agreement..
stop this nonsense and wake up

[michelle23]

No dont do it. Stop talking to him completely and go meet someone else who wants the same things as you. Would you be happy sleeping with him knowing that he is also sleeping with others? And what if you caught something off him or get pregnant? You are vulnerable and not emotionally ready for this type of relationship.

You already have feelings for him and you will get hurt. This whole FWB thing is a load of bollox. The only way I would agree to it is IF I just got out of a ltr and was emotionally unavailable. That is the only way you would not get attached to him.

Dont allow him to use you. If he doesnt see relationship potential in you now-he likely never will. He just wants regular sex. Dont be the one to give it to him.

[4 ratties]

You haven't had sex so you don't know the feelings that come along with it. You may get a huge feeling of connection with him after having sex and he's made it clear you guys are not going to get into a relationship so why play with your heart like that?

[sarahgl19]

Thank you guys!
I knew what the right answer was, but sometimes we need to hear it from someone else, and when 7 different people say exactly the same thing... well, it’s hard to argue, and I won’t.
In response to namemyname I don’t know why I do not date, I don’t know many guys, and the ones I know or are jerks, or are friends of mine… the truth is I don’t go out that much, and I’m very shy, I feel a little uncomfortable talking to guys, since always. It is just the way I am.
Thank you, again. =)

[michelle23]

join a few hobbies or do charity work to meet guys or try online dating. stay away from this friend though. good luck