Suspicious of my husband and sister

[smackie9]

Yes it would be possible she changed in your room, because she is that type of self entitled girl.It makes sense. I think your husband could be stressing because he really doesn't like your house guest to begin with. And you have this sense of her being a trouble maker because she is being an attention whore. Well she could just be that, an attention whore and not someone who would induldge in adultry.

You should have a talk to HER about being in your room without your permission, and it is off limits to her. And see where that goes.

[Maple1714]

I still think they are sleeping together....

It's just my opinion, but I think the OP senses and knows what type of man her husband is. If you are a woman in tune with your intuition, then it's easy to sense the true nature of people. Men are especially easy. Some men just don't cheat...b/c they are faithful at heart in the way they look at and live their lives...other men are not this way.

OP - look at your husband in the eyes...you will be able to tell in your gut whats going on. Your mind wouldn't automatically go there if there wasn't some truth to it. It's easy to rationalize and believe lies. Just get a camera. I had a roommate for a while...this girl. She rented a room in the house I owned. I had a feeling one day that she was hiding something...I had no idea what, but just a feeling that made me not trust her. I snooped in her room and found a bag of my things...jewelry, prescription meds. She stole it all from me. I rationalized the situation and believed her lies. I felt sorry for her. It took her stealing my underwear, trying to manipulate my friends and steal my boyfriend until I finally kicked her ass out. My dog also took a huge shit on her bed to let me know she needed to go...lol. Do you have any pets? How are they treating your sister?? Animals know too!

[surfhb2]

I think I'm the only male to post in this thread....

Anyway, I roll my eyes to this estrogen fueled chicken coup of a conversation

Just confront your husband straight up for god sakes and get his reaction! You should be able to know.

Panties under the bed!? Funny! I guarantee once this thread is over the OP will realize she jumped to conclusions. Be willing to bet.

[rafterman]

Just confront your husband straight up for god sakes and get his reaction! You should be able to know.

Panties under the bed!? Funny! I guarantee once this thread is over the OP will realize she jumped to conclusions. Be willing to bet.

I would gain more evidence before confronting him about it, which is I why I suggested the camera. Confronting him without any circumstancial evidence could result in "relationship self destruction"

The op is in a better position to detirmine the plan of attack, from here. Insecurities develope for a reason. She'll be back with an update.... hopefully

[LifeInflux]

I would gain more evidence before confronting him about it, which is I why I suggested the camera. Confronting him without any circumstancial evidence could result in "relationship self destruction"

The op is in a better position to detirmine the plan of attack, from here. Insecurities develope for a reason. She'll be back with an update.... hopefully

If its gotten to the point of cameras, then there are more fundamental underlying trust issues brewing then just this one incident. Nobody deserves to feel like they could be cheated on, and while the sister played a small part, if it wasn't the sister it would be someone else.

If you can't trust your partner, does it matter whether or not they've actually cheated on you? Why would you want a relationship with someone you don't trust?

[Maple1714]

I guarantee once this thread is over the OP will realize she jumped to conclusions. Be willing to bet.

Maybe...maybe not? Hopefully she gets the camera and lets us know!

[smackie9]

There is no proof, and it's too late for a camera.

[VincenzoG91]

Quick question: is there a dog in this household? A dog might be responsible for the panties under the bed. If there isn't a dog, then I agree that this situation looks very shady.

[LifeInflux]

Quick question: is there a dog in this household? A dog might be responsible for the panties under the bed. If there isn't a dog, then I agree that this situation looks very shady.

Well, it could always be that her husband might be kind of pervy too and stole them and hid them there.... but dogs work too. and also elves.

[rafterman]

The camera is going in for " security reasons ".. Noone likes an insecure household, and you never know when you MIGHT just catch a Crook

[Maple1714]

There is no proof, and it's too late for a camera.

Why is it too late for a camera? Something else might happen...

Who leaves brand new thongs under someone's bed? You know who left underwear in/under my bed twice and forgot? My previous lover....(when I was single!)

[LifeInflux]

Who leaves brand new thongs under someone's bed?

Thong Fairy.


Its too late for a camera simply because if something already happened it won't catch what went on. Regardless it doesn't matter what happened, she thinks he already cheated in one way or another... and unless she can become confident with the fact that he didn't or wouldn't cheat, the trust is broken and its harder to repair trust then anything else.

[Maple1714]

Thong Fairy.


Its too late for a camera simply because if something already happened it won't catch what went on. Regardless it doesn't matter what happened, she thinks he already cheated in one way or another... and unless she can become confident with the fact that he didn't or wouldn't cheat, the trust is broken and its harder to repair trust then anything else.

Haha...yes, but wouldn't you still want to know for sure? I'm obsessive so I guess I'd have to get the hard evidence. But, you're right the trust is already broken regardless.

[michelle23]

the doubt is already there, trust is gone so this relationship is already over unless hubby can PROVE nothing happened.

OP ask your husband straight up "why is another womans underwear under our bed" if he reacts badly (angry, defensive, wont look you in the eye) then you no for sure he has cheated. ask very calmly and tell him you want an honest answer.

if you are still confused and unsure-get a lie detectr test done

if you want to go down the route of cameras-make sure you dont get caught and ensure they are not in a place where people undress etc coz im not sure whether that is legal or not. the hallway outside both bedrooms is prob the best place. make sure your out of the house a lot that week so if there is anything going on you will get the truth asap

best of luck and keep us updated

[Millie]

If its gotten to the point of cameras, then there are more fundamental underlying trust issues brewing then just this one incident. Nobody deserves to feel like they could be cheated on, and while the sister played a small part, if it wasn't the sister it would be someone else.

If you can't trust your partner, does it matter whether or not they've actually cheated on you? Why would you want a relationship with someone you don't trust?

I have to say I totally agree with LifeInFlux, installing a camera isn't the answer. In fact, the idea of installing cameras in my home so that I can 'spy' on my husband leaves me cold, and if it's got to the point where you would consider that as a serious option then I would suggest the relationship has fundamental trust/communication issues that stretch back far beyond your sister coming to stay. Rather than drive yourself crazy looking for supporting evidence how about just talking to him? I don't agree that you'll look like the bad guy if you're wrong, you'll look like a wife who is invested in her marriage, and that's no bad thing, surely. The longer you go on looking for clues that may or may not lead you to the truth the more paranoid you will become and that's not going to do anything good to your state of mind, regardless of what the truth turns out to be. Talk to him, if you know your husband at all you'll get the best clue of all to what's going on from how he responds and deals with it. At best you'll realise how wrong you were and at worst you'll know there really is something to be worried about - either way it has to be better than thinking things over in increasingly dark circles.