I'm a 35 year old single woman. Five months ago, I began dating the man of my dreams. He is 36, divorced, and has an 11 year old daughter with whom I had met and had gotten along with swimmingly! Our relationship really seemed headed in the right direction - and it was driven my him. He would call to tell me he missed me, that he loved where our relationship was at and where it was going, he was talking about giving me a key to his place, and buying a king sized bed. He would call his daughter and I "his girls". He had dated 2 other women since his divorce - but he said it was nothing like the depth of our relationship and that it scared him. He told me, as well as his best friend, that I understood him more than anyone ever has.

Anyway - He is a very type A personality (He wears his clothes in a rotation, for the love of god) and really thrives on routine. About a month ago, he moved to another town - the move was supposed to be a good thing for both he and his daughter - he shares custody 50/50. But he would be closer to work, closer to his family, better school system, better neighborhood etc. The day of the move he had invited me to spend the night at the new place - with his daughter there. We had always agreed that I wouldn't stay over when she was there, and he had always told her that if someone stays over, it's a big deal...like, it means something. So, I took his invitation as a gesture - that we were moving forward. I stayed - and his daughter didn't take it well. She told her mom that she was uncomfortable that I had stayed.

Well, ever since then...he has steadily become withdrawn. Not hearing from him much, it seemed like he was avoiding plans with me. He had learned some additional information about his daughter's home life at her mom's that makes him really worried that things aren't very stable there, and his daughter has asked if she can move in with him full time.

I finally asked him if he needed space - so we ended up taking a 2 week break - no communication. When I finally talked to him after two weeks, he had told me that he feels completely overwhelmed with work, he feels like he is dropping the ball with his daughter (I think he feels very guilty about moving her), that school wasn't going well, and that he just doesn't want to do anything or be with anyone. He didn't think he could make me a priority. He said that "he gets like this" sometimes, but he was having a really hard time pulling himself out of this funk. He said he might need to see a doctor and talk to a therapist. He wasn't able to tell me what he wanted to do with our relationship. I made it clear that I didn't want to break up, but he said he didn't know how long it would take for him to "wake up out of his coma." I asked him if he would feel relieved if I said we should break-up and he said, "No, I wouldn't feel anything. I'm a total barren field right now." In the end, he decided that he couldn't dangle me along while he figured his shit out, so be broke it off.

I know that the break up is what is needed right now, but I'm so devastated that it came to this. I totally have been where he is and have felt (or NOT felt) the same emotions. I want to help him through it, but he is totally isoloating himself. His friends haven't heard from him in weeks.

I feel like I pushed him to make a decision he wasn't ready to make. I'm thinking of reaching out to him in an email to let him know that I understand, that I just want him to be able to feel like himself again, and that I don't want this to be the end for us.

What do you think, Depression? I know this is a very delicate time, and when the brain is not working right, things may be taken wrong. Should I reach out to him, or do I just stay silent and move on with my life?
I've never posted here before, but I've been reading a lot of posts - it helps so much to see descriptions of people's exeriences with depression. I suffer from depression and anxiety, but it's very well managed with meds. But I've been at rock bottom before.

Anyway - I'm a 35 year old single woman. Five months ago, I began dating the man of my dreams. He is 36, divorced, and has an 11 year old daughter with whom I had met and had gotten along with swimmingly! Our relationship really seemed headed in the right direction - and it was driven my him. He would call to tell me he missed me, that he loved where our relationship was at and where it was going, he was talking about giving me a key to his place, and buying a king sized bed. He would call his daughter and I "his girls". He had dated 2 other women since his divorce - but he said it was nothing like the depth of our relationship and that it scared him. He told me, as well as his best friend, that I understood him more than anyone ever has.

Anyway - He is a very type A personality (He wears his clothes in a rotation, for the love of god) and really thrives on routine. About a month ago, he moved to another town - the move was supposed to be a good thing for both he and his daughter - he shares custody 50/50. But he would be closer to work, closer to his family, better school system, better neighborhood etc. The day of the move he had invited me to spend the night at the new place - with his daughter there. We had always agreed that I wouldn't stay over when she was there, and he had always told her that if someone stays over, it's a big deal...like, it means something. So, I took his invitation as a gesture - that we were moving forward. I stayed - and his daughter didn't take it well. She told her mom that she was uncomfortable that I had stayed.

Well, ever since then...he has steadily become withdrawn. Not hearing from him much, it seemed like he was avoiding plans with me. He had learned some additional information about his daughter's home life at her mom's that makes him really worried that things aren't very stable there, and his daughter has asked if she can move in with him full time.

I finally asked him if he needed space - so we ended up taking a 2 week break - no communication. When I finally talked to him after two weeks, he had told me that he feels completely overwhelmed with work, he feels like he is dropping the ball with his daughter (I think he feels very guilty about moving her), that school wasn't going well, and that he just doesn't want to do anything or be with anyone. He didn't think he could make me a priority. He said that "he gets like this" sometimes, but he was having a really hard time pulling himself out of this funk. He said he might need to see a doctor and talk to a therapist. He wasn't able to tell me what he wanted to do with our relationship. I made it clear that I didn't want to break up, but he said he didn't know how long it would take for him to "wake up out of his coma." I asked him if he would feel relieved if I said we should break-up and he said, "No, I wouldn't feel anything. I'm a total barren field right now." In the end, he decided that he couldn't dangle me along while he figured his shit out, so be broke it off.

I know that the break up is what is needed right now, but I'm so devastated that it came to this. I totally have been where he is and have felt (or NOT felt) the same emotions. I want to help him through it, but he is totally isoloating himself. His friends haven't heard from him in weeks.

I feel like I pushed him to make a decision he wasn't ready to make. I'm thinking of reaching out to him in an email to let him know that I understand, that I just want him to be able to feel like himself again, and that I don't want this to be the end for us.

What do you think, Depression? I know this is a very delicate time, and when the brain is not working right, things may be taken wrong. Should I reach out to him, or do I just stay silent and move on with my life?