Hey,
I'll try and summarise up my story of 13 months:
Guy I was friends with 5 years ago, we stopped talking for 3 years, we used to have a crush on each other but were too shy. And then 3 years later he randomly texts me, saying I was on his mind, and from then on we non-stop talk and we get together.
We fall deeply in love with each other, and it didn't take long to realize we were meant for each other.
We made plans for our future, neither of us had any commitment problems.
But I made a mistake. I took for granted what I had. He done everything for me, he wanted to spend time with me, he wanted to talk to me all the time, play games with me, watch movies with me, he was always up for going out and having adventures with me, he loved me until he couldn't take it anymore. I became distant, I was stressed from other stuff in life and I let it interfere with our relationship. I didn't fight enough because I didn't think things would end between us so easily.
When he ended things with me, it was a shock, and he still loved me a lot, he told me that all the time. I was so upset and scared, I made the bad mistake of sending him loads of texts, the only things he would reply with is "I still love you" and "I just need time apart"... I didn't give him time apart because I thought he secretly wanted me to show him I cared (something I picked up from him throughout our relationship).
We ended up going out a few times and having a great time, but I allowed my feelings to get in the way, when things would be going well I'd feel it was a good time to drop in my feelings of how much I miss him - this was always a bad idea.
He done so much for me, he never gave up on me when I was being cold and distant, and now he's gone I realized every bad mistake I made and how much I want to improve myself for him. I believe we can work through it, however I pushed him away during our break up, making all of the break up mistakes in the book.
I'm trying to give him NC now, hoping he will miss me, but also using the time to try and move on because whatever happens will be for the best.
But is there any way we can bounce back from this? In our relationship we never really had any serious arguments, we worked through a fair few problems and compromised, we were strong. But towards the end I guess I didn't show interest as much, and he said I became inconsiderate and that he "doesn't need that". Basically I screwed up big time, and we had so much love between us that I'm just so upset with myself for taking it for granted.
I manage to find silver linings all the time, I just want some advice, and anything positive. I don't need people telling me it's run it's course and to give up, because that I can figure out when I want to, but for now, all it takes is for one person to fight for a relationship for it to work one day, right? I'm so sure he'll realise some stuff when he finally has time to clear his head.
I'm going to go forward with NC, so far it's been 3 days, and I'm going to put myself out there, hang out with friends and try everything I can to improve myself, and just hope one day, we could reconcile. Our love was true.