restrictions HELP!!!! :(

[ihatepd]

So me n my bf have been together for about 1 yr and 8 months. We love each other very much but the problem is he puts too many restrictions on me on everything he has to decide like for me. I cant speak to guys not even at work, i have to ignore or offend them if it doesnt have to do with work , i cant wear what i like, i have even limits to how much to speak to family members who are guys, i cant go swimming ex with my friends, its been a yr since i went out with a bestfriend, i used to like clubbing n discos like but i dont go never bcus of him [ i dont find this a prob], i cant look at guys i mean i dont have to watch out other guys wtf idc but i cant do eyecontact every guy that speaks to me exampple on work, everyone i speak to guys ( obviuosly it has to be rly urgent nd of work or something like tht bcus i cant speak to boys], i have to say yuck everytime i mention a guy ****en irritating and not only with him i have to say it, but with every1 wtf, he accuses me all time of looking at guys n keep fighting about it, obviously cant have guy friends, shouldnt have mentioned it!, sometimes i have to quote to ppl what he tells me to say and all other shit stuff like these, even for example onc ehe accused me of loving /liking his dad bcus i used to give them sweets or icecreams etc when i go to their house, n i would buy something that him and his dad would like n not only him, ofc i stopped bringing unless once in a time. this shit is making me UNSOCIABLE. i was never ****en like this, NEVER IN MY LIFE. the problem is i cant stand this bs anymore, its making me depressed all the time, i think about it n make me sad. even my hairstyle he has to pout his nose in for example, almost every1 prefers me iwth fringe bcus it suits me very well even he used to tell me at the begginign of this relationship, but now he wants me without fringe, even make up he has to control, for instance if we go to watch a football game i cant wear make up he would figth n force me to put it off there, ex we went to eat in new year with family etc n i was wearing a dress gold, and i wore gold eyeshadow, we fought a lot in car, he outs his hands to remove it n i would end up meessed up . this shit is making me too sad even just writing this makes me cry. i know i tried to tell him manyy times to stop it but we end up much worse. he would cry without an end -_- n his father tries to stop him but he wont. i mean i have to think about myself i cant help feeling like this anymore. even im going to physiotherapy, and the therapist kept all the time asking me if there is soemthing make me sad, if i have a depression, etc and ofc i would say NO. in addition, hes UTTERLY JEALOUS AS U CAN SEE. i cant stand this anymore. he changed me to a real different person , i feel not accepted my natural way, if i speak to guys i know the limits to as far i can speak, i never was anti-sociable, everywhere i go i feel trapped im all the time avoiding guys, even if some1 sits next to me in the bus i have to wake up even if im ****en hell tired after work. i mean i litteraly love him cant imagine myself without him, but hey i cant keep on seeing myself so depressed. even my doctor once asked me if there is something worrying me etc bcus i have some medical issues. and me family without telling them knows that he puts restrictions on me and they talk sarcasticlly about it. help!! I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS CAGE!! I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HIM, I WANT HIM TO ACCEPT ME NATURALLY, WITHOUT ANY FORM OF CONDITIONS. and the prob is that he totally changed me that sometimes i act like him stupid . I HATE MYSELF MORE THAN EVER i would prefer comiting a suicide than tleling him and seeing him getting worse i dont want to hurt him

[michelle23]

hun this is an abusive relationship. you have put up with his controlling behaviour for far too long and you need to get him out of your life asap.

have you told your family what has been going on? you need to ask them for help to make him stay away from you. its not gonna be easy-you may even need to go to the police and get one of those things against him (not sure what its called but if he comes within 100feet of you-he will get arrested)

you may also need counselling to help you heal from this

you just need to find the strenght and courage to break up with him. if your scared of how he will react-bring your dad or brother with you

best of luck

[ihatepd]

hun this is an abusive relationship. you have put up with his controlling behaviour for far too long and you need to get him out of your life asap.

have you told your family what has been going on? you need to ask them for help to make him stay away from you. its not gonna be easy-you may even need to go to the police and get one of those things against him (not sure what its called but if he comes within 100feet of you-he will get arrested)

you may also need counselling to help you heal from this

you just need to find the strenght and courage to break up with him. if your scared of how he will react-bring your dad or brother with you

best of luck

i dont want to go to police, im in hes applying for police this year for his carreer i dont want to ruin him.... n me n my family are not close, n i dont like speaking with them they dont undertsnad ;/,..... but i can tlive without him and i know he does also :'( i know he loves me far from what you may think bcus of restrictions but yes he does love me thru hard time he showed it .. n i dont want to go to counselling they would contact my parents -_-

[michelle23]

why did you come here asking for help if your willing to stay with this controlling, jealous, manipulate, possessive bully?

hes not gona change so prepare yourself for a life of misery if your gonna stay and put up with this shite.

btw the fact he is sooo paranoid likely means he is cheating on you. people dont become this crazy paranoid for no reason

[ihatepd]

he doesnt consider himself as bully, possesive etc. n im defintly sure he doesnt cheat

[4 ratties]

He's gonna start hitting u soon. Time to break up clearly. Can u imagine how he'd treat your kids if u guys had them?

[michelle23]

he is OTT possessive. this is not normal behaviour at all

[michelle23]

exactly my thoughts-fight back, stand up to him-he will hit you. maybe thatl be enough to make you walk. i doubt it though.

look up co-dependency and do your research. your a doormat and he will destroy you

[ihatepd]

he did hit me but i was kind and eventually helped hi get out of it and he did get out of it

[basilandthyme]

If you're not going to leave, then accept that it will continue as it is.

[Empty Road]

he did hit me but i was kind and eventually helped hi get out of it and he did get out of it

You really know how to look at the bright side of things. "He hits me but I help him stop, YAY" What's next? "He stabbed me with a kitchen knife, but I helped him missed a vital organ, YAY!"

Oh please don't let him be a cop. The citizens don't need anymore abusive-power-tripping cop.

[LoveCanHurt]

Get out before you are looking at bruises that don't seem to fade year after year emotionally and physically.
Stop worrying about him and worry about yourself...
Trust me if you finally get the courage to leave you will not regret it..

[namemyname]

"Yeah, he's a great guy. He only beats me the second Tuesday of months with a R in them, and really, when I think about it, I kind of deserve it. It keeps me in line, as I can get uppity and do things that upset him. It's my fault, actually. I'm lucky he puts up with MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

[HeartIsAching]

Holy shit. Why even try? She doesn't want help.

[namemyname]

I know. It's heartbreaking.

My housekeeper, 23 with 3 kids, was telling me how abusive her H is. Takes their kids when he goes to see his girlfriend. Every time she leaves, he finds her, brings her back. She was expecting a big tax refund one year, and was going to use that money to move far from him. Well, apparently during their marriage, he had another kid. So, since they filed jointly, the IRS turned the refund over to the baby mama for back child support.

These things slay me.