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Thread: I need to clean up my mess

  1. #1
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    I need to clean up my mess

    I have been dating a girl for about 6 months, and living with her for 2 months now. I know that in the grand scheme of things, 6 months isn't very long, but I have never been in a relationship that long. I've always ended them around a month or two. This is the only girl I've ever been able to picture myself having a future with. The way she would look at me with all of this love in her eyes made it seem like nothing else in the world matter.
    We've always fought a little, but its never been big, and we would make up within an hour. But recently I've started getting more and more jealous. She is a gorgeous girl, and gets a lot of attention from other guys. I know she would never cheat, but I would always get upset when she would go and dance or play around with anyone, and it would alway lead to a fight. I'm not proud, but some times in these fights I would threaten to leave, and she would cry and hurt and I would feel awful. Last Monday she left on a trip, and we had an argument on the phone. We decided to stay together later that night, but it just felt different for the next few days. Finally, on Wednesday she sent me a text that said that she loves me, but I hurt her too much and I'm too much for her to handle. She said she can't talk to me anymore. I respected that and haven't contacted her since. If I just had another chance, I would never act like that again, not after knowing how it feels to be without her.

    I've arranged to have a huge bouquet of her favorite flowers and a teddy bear delivered to her next week when she returns, and a card that says, "I miss you. I think about you everyday. I know I wasn't the man you deserve, but I will be. If you ever change your mind, I'm only a phonecall away. I love you." And if I don't hear from her, then a couple weeks later, on the 21st, our anniversary, I would show up at her door and ask her for one night out, and take her on her perfect date. If she says no, I'll accept it as over for good.

    Is this doing too much? And is there any way to save this relationship and get my baby back?

  2. #2
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    I know she would never cheat,
    How do you know that? You don't even know her but for 6 months.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #3
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    Because I trust her. I know the kind of person she is. She's had that happen to her, and she wouldn't do that to someone else.

  4. #4
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    Whatever, you don't know the type of person she is yet.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  5. #5
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    Does she attract much attention from guys naturally or is she looking for it?

  6. #6
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    you moved in together too fast. 6months is not enough time to figure out if you are compatable or not.

    you need to stopwith the paranoia. you will push her into another mans arms if you smother her. if you trust her like you say you do-then let her breath.

    if the worst does happen and she does cheat-break up with her. simple. its pointless driving yourself mad over something that hasnt happened
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  7. #7
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    you are going way to hard over a girl you've known for 6 months. u say ur going to change but ur really only saying that because u want her back. its not a good match, she's a free spirit and ur the opposite, an because this has been ur longest relationship ur getting the illusion that she's the one but if that 6 months had so many arguments.. is she really the one for u?
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
    - Jimi Hendrix

    http://inspiringlovequotes.net

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asecho View Post
    Because I trust her. I know the kind of person she is. She's had that happen to her, and she wouldn't do that to someone else.
    No, you don't. Else you wouldn't get jealous. And don't say "I trust her, but I don't trust the guys" because it amounts to the same thing - she makes choices for her, you don't, and they don't.

  9. #9
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    I agree that things did move a little fast, but sometimes, things just feel right. I would do everything you just said you were going to do, and if it brings you guys back together, you MUST control your jealousy. My boyfriend is the jealous type, or at least he used to be, but he has gotten VERY GOOD at keeping it at bay. It's important when those feelings of jealousy start to surface, to stop and let your rational take over. Stop and think to yourself "Why am I really angry?" "Is she really doing anything wrong?" "Does she deserve for me to react this way?" "Has she done something to make me not trust her?" The answers to these questions should help.

    On the other hand, if she turns you down, then it's best to move on, if you guys are meant to be together, then it'll happen when its meant to. Hang in there.

  10. #10
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    Im going to agree with the last post, when she gets back try giving her flowers and what not, but I would not take it any further

  11. #11
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    One of THE worse things you could do is send flowers to a girl who isn't wanting you. It comes across as manipulative and desperate to her and subconciously she will lose even more attraction for you.

    Keep flower giving for when you're in GOOD standing with her to show her how much you appreciate her.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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