Happily Married or in a Committed LTR? Share your story!

[4blossoms]

I think I am the oldest person here (38) and haven't had any luck dating at all. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but for my entire life I've always fallen for men who cheat on me. The situation with my first boyfriend from college was a total mess that involved a mutual friend. I won't go into the messy details but I just blame it on inexperience and never made those same mistakes again. After breaking up with him I was devastated and mostly hung out at bars and clubs with friends and looked for hookups throughout my 20s (also because I was busy with career). Dated a lot of guys online during that time but no one I really liked (online dating does not work). At 33 I started seeing a coworker. After a month we were in a relationship then one day I found strands of long curly hair in his bed. I confronted him and he said it belongs to his brother, who doesn't have an apt and crashes at his place to sleep during the day. I believed this crappy story until I saw a photo of his brother from a party a month earlier. He had very short hair curly hair, nowhere near the length of the long hair that I found in his bed. So, I broke up with him on the spot. Fast forward a year later and I'm taking some classes at a local university for work. I meet a foreign exchange student at some campus event. Basically fell head over heels in love with him. He told me he had a girlfriend and was faithful to her. That should have been my cue to beat a hasty retreat. But I thought being friends couldn't hurt, so we hung out for the year that he was here. I was flying on cloud 9. He was like the prince on a white horse--6'2", blond, handsome, studying economics, and planned to work for the EU. How can a woman resist? So, I fell for him in spite of just being friends. I think he sincerely liked me--he wanted to hang out every weekend, but after the year was up he had to go home. For 6 months afterwards we wrote and he said he was looking for work in the US. Then a month later when I hadn't heard back he said he'd moved in with his gf. So, that ended. Now it's been another year and I met another person. We went out a few times and I asked if this was leading to a serious relationship. He said no. So, ended it and it's back to square 1.

When I was young I had been sexually abused by my father. I had about 10 years of therapy and have resolved pretty much everything and even have a healthy and distant relationship with my father now. I've seen women who were abused be able to create healthy relationships. Can't figure out why it's not happening for me.

[catnip]

why is basilandthyme dead now?

BnT got deleted for spamming. But BnT didn't make any spam. Very confused.

[HeartIsAching]

I think I am the oldest person here (38) and haven't had any luck dating at all. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but for my entire life I've always fallen for men who cheat on me. The situation with my first boyfriend from college was a total mess that involved a mutual friend. I won't go into the messy details but I just blame it on inexperience and never made those same mistakes again. After breaking up with him I was devastated and mostly hung out at bars and clubs with friends and looked for hookups throughout my 20s (also because I was busy with career). Dated a lot of guys online during that time but no one I really liked (online dating does not work). At 33 I started seeing a coworker. After a month we were in a relationship then one day I found strands of long curly hair in his bed. I confronted him and he said it belongs to his brother, who doesn't have an apt and crashes at his place to sleep during the day. I believed this crappy story until I saw a photo of his brother from a party a month earlier. He had very short hair curly hair, nowhere near the length of the long hair that I found in his bed. So, I broke up with him on the spot. Fast forward a year later and I'm taking some classes at a local university for work. I meet a foreign exchange student at some campus event. Basically fell head over heels in love with him. He told me he had a girlfriend and was faithful to her. That should have been my cue to beat a hasty retreat. But I thought being friends couldn't hurt, so we hung out for the year that he was here. I was flying on cloud 9. He was like the prince on a white horse--6'2", blond, handsome, studying economics, and planned to work for the EU. How can a woman resist? So, I fell for him in spite of just being friends. I think he sincerely liked me--he wanted to hang out every weekend, but after the year was up he had to go home. For 6 months afterwards we wrote and he said he was looking for work in the US. Then a month later when I hadn't heard back he said he'd moved in with his gf. So, that ended. Now it's been another year and I met another person. We went out a few times and I asked if this was leading to a serious relationship. He said no. So, ended it and it's back to square 1.

When I was young I had been sexually abused by my father. I had about 10 years of therapy and have resolved pretty much everything and even have a healthy and distant relationship with my father now. I've seen women who were abused be able to create healthy relationships. Can't figure out why it's not happening for me.

False assumption. I'm older than you. So are a number of posters on the site.

I'm sorry to hear about the abuse, my sister was sexually abused by someone not in our family, and it has really screwed her up. Kudos to you for getting therapy.

[anonymous_a]

I met my boyfriend at a skate shop when I was 14 and had an instant crush on him. Unfortunately, I had a boyfriend at the time, and being that he was 17, he didn't even really notice me. Over the course of the next 3 years we would get to know each other, and party together a few times, due to mutual friends, and having things in common, such as skateboarding. When I was 17 and we both were single, we dated very briefly, like I'm talking a week or two, lol. After we broke up, we stayed in touch and were hook up buddies on and off for about a year. When I was 18, I met someone and we started dating seriously, so I cut my old friend lose. Me and the boyfriend moved away together, but broke up after 2 years. I lived in this new city, for 3 years. On the third year, I came home for Christmas break, saw old face at a bar, the night I got to town, and went home with him. We spent the two weeks that I was home, attached at the hip. I moved back home a month later, and we've happily together ever since!