Contacting my Ex after 21 months

[jonathan88]

My ex and I broke up amicably 28 months ago. The last time I saw him was 21 months ago.

We were Facebook friends for a year after we broke up. But then he got a new boyfriend and it made me hurt so I deleted my Facebook and disappeared completely. It didn't last long. Despite my best intentions even in London the online Gay community is small enough especially if you use the same websites to find men you cannot help but to see your ex's online cruising on occasion even if you do not speak to them.

Since then I changed my whole life. I am now studying Psychology and spent the last 6 months in South East Asia before that. But despite all this and having had flings with other men even after all this time I still love him. Despite my best efforts to the contrary. I think I am probably more like him now as I have aged. We were polar opposites when we dated.

I suppose we must both be different men now? I just created a new Facebook and added some people I used to know. I am seriously considering wishing him a happy 30th Birthday as it is a big milestone.

When I was in an 8 month relationship with him quite honestly I was neither mentally nor physically fit for purpose. For a relationship. I was a really screwed up 23 year old back then.

What do you think I should do? I know maybe in 21 months he perhaps may have never thought about me at all or very fleetingly. Still he may appreciate I even remember his age and his birthday all these years later and be curious about me as I am curious about him.

I don't know but if all these months later. Travelling for 6 months and studying an entirely different degree and I still think about him then perhaps a part of me is never going to be able to move on? Obviously I have moved on in other ways but there is evidently always going to be a part of me that feels this way?

What would you do if you felt the way I do?

[thompkevin]

If I were you, I'd contact him and try to give it another try. The worse that could happen is he said no, in which case you will know for sure that nothing will ever happen and you can finally move on.

[kimhotcake]

You won't lose anything by wishing him happy birthday. Make sure you also ask how he's been doing, so he has a chance to respond. If he doesn't write back, you know he doesn't want to talk to you and you can move on.