Unhappy I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

[Tabitha Violet]

Hey,
I'm in an awful situation.
I have been with my partner for about 18months and we have a beautiful 5 month old daughter.
we are really happy together, and he has brought me a ring and was about to propose in the coming months.
But on Saturday I stayed at one of my friends house who i have been friends with for life. I was completely drunk and was by myself and their eldest brother who i had not seen for 6years (we use to have a thing) come over without me even knowing. I had no feeling or attractions for him whatsoever. anyway i can't remember too much as i was really intoxicated, i then must have blacked out but when i came to my senses after 10 to 20 seconds i was giving him head. I stopped immediately and screamed WTF and then vomited all over him! I felt so ashamed and so angry at myself. The next day my partner come to pick me up and I had to tell him.
I never keep anything from him I tell him everything and i mean everything. I also spewed whilst i was telling him. He took it better then i expected but now were both a complete mess. I tried to kill myself the next day as knowing that I may lose him forever was too much for me to bare. I love him with my entire heart and soul, i have never loved another like this. He has been having sexual activities with me but i feel like he is using me now. I don't blame him though, but he said he just wants to feel intimacy but there isn't.
He has said to me that he wants this to work so bad, and what we had was amazing but he is finding it hard.
I am trying to show him that i had no intentions whatsoever and he said he knows that and he knows how horrible and extremely sorry i feel.
I just want to know how and what can we do to make things get better? I know everyone says time but I'm afraid time is not on my side in this situation.
This is the first mistake I have ever made in our entire relationship

[Starnique]

You threw up while sucking him off? That is nasty.

More likely he wont leave you because he is still there and if it was over he would have handled it differently. Just give him time to process all of this. Its not about you so its not solely on your time. You shouldn't have told him. You should have just move on and never did it again. But since you did, you need to respect his decisions. Make sure you are there for him and how much you love him. Other then that, that's all you can do right now. Once trust is broke, it has to be regained and its hard so you need to give him time.

[Tabitha Violet]

Yeah after I realized what the hell i was doing then i spewed cos i felt physically sick!
I have never done this in my entire life.

[lalalita]

He might stay with you, for now. It could be years down the road, but this will be the elephant in the room of your relationship...if not the reason why it eventually ends. He can try all he wants to forgive you, but he's never going to forget what you did and the pain you have caused. Once trust is gone, the entire relationship slowly unravels.

[HeartIsAching]

You're getting blackout drunk with a 5 month old baby? While out partying? This concerns me far more than the rest.

Get some couple's counseling. Don't go out partying without your SO. Don't get blackout drunk.

htth

[Millie]

Responsible parenting 101. Speak with Sad Bunny, she has experience of vomiting over guys while performing drunken oral sex.

In fact now I read your post over I'm even more irritated, you tried to kill yourself with a baby at home? Ugh. For once I have no words.

[VincenzoG91]

Tabitha Violet = next Casey Anthony?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How did you try to kill yourself? Pills or cutting your wrist, or some lame ass attempt like that?

Stop bullshitting around and get a gun or jump off of a building.

[Archie]

Sad thing is, some things are better left unsaid. Sure you can be absolutely honest with your partner, but you have to realize that not everything is worth telling. You hurt him with the truth and it's a scar that will always be there, that one incident is going to come up in many future arguments and there's nothing that can be done about it.

At this point, I think it's better if the two of you broke up.

On the bright side, you vomited on some guys dick! That's a great story.

[dem862]

You woke up and there was a cock in your mouth? That's a good one. I think most women can relate to that.

[Calvin]

sounds to me like he's upset but he partially understands so it may take a while for everything to be cool. also, don't even think about killing yourself again, don't forget you have a 5 month old..

[michelle23]

I dont buy it.... I think that is a lie that you woke up all of a sudden and was sucking him off... whatever.

Im glad you told the truth though. I disagree with the others that you should have kept it to yourself. He has a right to know-if it were me I would want to know

Now its up to him whether he forgives you or not and if he decides not to-do not play the suicide card again. It is wrong to guilt trip him into staying with you. You tell him if he wants to leave you he can and you promise you wont do anything stupid

I find this story hard to believe.. what kinda mother would attempt to take her own life with a 5 month old baby at home? That makes me sick.

I could say a lot harsher things here but I wont.

[searock]

You have a 5 months old daughter and you tried to kill yourself? You need help.

[Nightshade]

I kind of hope he leaves you and applies for primary guardianship of the child, until you seek some therapy . Have you heard of post-partum depression? I would go to a hospitable, explain that you just had a baby and find yourself engaging in high risk behaviour, including suicide attempts
They will get you the help and support you need to get on your feel and be the best momma you can be. Good luck and I am so sorry for your child, nobody should have to see their mommy suffer.


Now, child aside. Getting blackout drunk and sucking off some guy that you barely know (he's been gone for 6 years, yes?) is a dink move. Not cool, or classy. It's like...straight out of a Kesha song.....

[Nightshade]

Fricken auto-correct man!!