Final Got First Kiss but inevitably fails in the end

[actualgoodguy]

So I finally got my first kiss at age 24. We went out on 10 dates. She told me she wanted to start having sex, but I'm saving myself for one woman so there's no way that was going to happen. I found out she has had sex before and doesn't feel the same about sex as me. I would like to have an emotional connection with the girl but she did not feel the same. I ended it with her....did I do the right thing? Thanks

[basilandthyme]

If you can't be happy with her, then yes you did the right thing by ending it. However, you are going to keep on finding the same problem each time you find a new girl

[actualgoodguy]

Do any girls my age have morals anymore?? It's just very frustrating, because all my life I've always tried to do the right thing, but it doesn't pay off when it comes to relationships.

And it's not even for myself. I choose not to have sex just for my future wife's sake. I want her to know that she is that special that I passed up other women earlier in my life for her. Plus she'd know I have the qualities of a faithful man and that I'm clean.

[actualgoodguy]

**And faithful meaning I'd never cheat on her, as opposed to being religious faithful, as I'm not religious**

[basilandthyme]

Do any girls my age have morals anymore?? It's just very frustrating, because all my life I've always tried to do the right thing, but it doesn't pay off when it comes to relationships.

Yes, they have morals - but different morals to you. I'm sure the majority of women don't lie, cheat or steal....but they simply don't see value in refraining from sex. And I suspect that the average girl is less judgemental than you are - which in my view is a higher quality trait than being a virgin.

And it's not even for myself. I choose not to have sex just for my future wife's sake. I want her to know that she is that special that I passed up other women earlier in my life for her. Plus she'd know I have the qualities of a faithful man and that I'm clean.

So, you not only want a girl who will wait, but one who will value the fact you waited for her. Tough call. Frankly, it wouldn't mean anything to me if a guy had kept himself pure and waiting for me. I hope you find a girl who values what you've gone without.

Thing is though, there's no point complaining about what girls do because you can't change it. The only person you can change is yourself. So, either continue as you are or rethink your attitude. The choice is yours.

[actualgoodguy]

I just think of it this way: Think of your current spouse or bf/gf. Would you have rather had them had sex with someone(s) before you or for you to be there only partner. In other words if you knew you were going to end up with your husband/wife, would you have waited for each other? That's the perspective I have at least.

[actualgoodguy]

Obviously it's tough to resist our sexual needs and desire for sex, but sometimes we just need to step back and look at the big picture...

[actualgoodguy]

Or maybe I'm just from a different universe lol

[surfhb2]

You keep coming back here with the same sad story. You need to accept the fact your morals are not what other consider to be theirs. Everyone is different.

I feel sorry for you...really I do. You need to see a therapist to get over this...you live in your own little world

[surfhb2]

I just think of it this way: Think of your current spouse or bf/gf. Would you have rather had them had sex with someone(s) before you or for you to be there only partner. In other words if you knew you were going to end up with your husband/wife, would you have waited for each other? That's the perspective I have at least.

Thats pretty warped logic....good luck finding a lady for yourself

[basilandthyme]

I just think of it this way: Think of your current spouse or bf/gf. Would you have rather had them had sex with someone(s) before you or for you to be there only partner. In other words if you knew you were going to end up with your husband/wife, would you have waited for each other? That's the perspective I have at least.

I lost my virginity to a virgin and we were clueless even after a couple of years together. Fun, but clueless and without mind blowing sex.

In comparison, I like the fact that my now husband had skills to bring with him. And I'd be lying if I said that I'd learned nothing from previous partners too.

[basilandthyme]

Obviously it's tough to resist our sexual needs and desire for sex, but sometimes we just need to step back and look at the big picture...

And who may the "we" be in this idea? I hope you're not suggesting how others should behave.

[smackie9]

I am glad my partner didn't wait for me to be his first because he would have that lingering feeling, what would be like to be with other women and I want a man that knows his way around in bed.

Sexual experience is what is expected, so saying that, you are dating women that have different expectations from yours, plain and simple.

You need to date women of like mind and are saving themselves too. Yes your "moral" values narrows your options, so you need to not waste ten dates on a girl that isn't doesn't feel the same way....you can figure that out in 2 dates by opening your mouth and discussing it. You just wasted her bloody time. You need to be more forward about your expectations......or are you that desperate to mislead a girl to get dates and hope something will stick in your favor?

Time to change your strategy and be honest with your exceptions....there ain't a sexually experienced girl going to wait for a guy to feel an emotional connection before having sex unless it takes about 2 weeks.

[smackie9]

Obviously it's tough to resist our sexual needs and desire for sex, but sometimes we just need to step back and look at the big picture...

You are an adult now not a child, you are allowed to follow your sexual desires. It's ok......really.

[actualgoodguy]

I wish I could have discussed sexual past and sexual expectations before we even met. I just don't think it's appropriate to talk about that stuff when you first meet someone though. Looking back I wish we hadn't met because it was wasted time, money, etc. And I really, really regret wasting my first kiss on someone like her.