Ok ladies 5 questions I need you to answer!!

[michelle23]

But having sex with a girl you love doesnt tarnish this image you have created. It really doesnt make sense.
How did you end up believing all this if your not religious and your parents never told you to save yourself for marrisge?

It sounds to me like you have deep rooted insecurity that makes you think you have to be her first coz you dont ever want her to look at or think of another man or you want to be the first to show her pleasure.. Does it bother you if she masturbates before she gets with you?

I think you need to let go of these beliefs. There are so many cons you havnt even considered.

You meet a girl who has no experiene, you wait two years before having sex.. What if you find out then after you have sex, that she doesnt like sex, she only wants to do it once every 3months? Or that she feels sex iis dirty and it is wrong to enjoy it and wont allow herself to orgasm? Or if you find out she wants to do things in bed that you dont to do and your not compatable? What if shes ashamed of her body and will only do it in the dark with the blankets covering her? What if she isnt enthusiastic, will only do one position and will just lay there and look bored throughout the whole thing? What if she refuses to ever give you oral and wont allow you to give her oral?

Sexual compatability is a key component in a lasting long term relationship. IMO it is better to know early whether you two are good together that way or not

the problem with your belief is if you do manage to find your virgin-you may overlook all sorts of issues and stay in an unhappy relationship just because she ticks that most important box. There are soo many important factors to a healthy relationship that you are overlooking.

I think you should meet an inexperienced girl-not necessarily a virgin, get to know her, give her a chance and if you fall for her-sleep with her. Go into it with the hope that you will be amazing together and you will one day get married but if it doesnt work out at least you have some experience and it will help you figure out what you want/dont want in the next girl.

It is always good to kiss a few frogs. Each one teaches you more about you and what you want and need in a future wife. We learn from all our experiences and it takes us one step closer to finding mrs/mr right

[surfhb2]

Well, I'll let me guard down a little....I'm not an idiot - I get what each one of you are saying and I agree with it. I just feel I have to maintain an image - it's the reason why I don't drink, why I set several school records in college in running, why I have the money I do at my age, etc....I have a really, really big ego and I want to always win, be the best, strive for perfection, etc. Only a few people really know this about me, but I'm sure the people that know me would be surprised if they found out, because I never show it in real life. It's almost like I feel like I'm going to be judged at the end of my life, even though I know it's not going to happen, and it's got nothing to do with religion, cause I'm not religious. That's why I decide to do all these things, sex included, cause I feel it's the right thing to do, I feel like waiting is the most admirable or perfect thing to do, that's why I do it.

But I also sometimes think about our purpose here on earth...how lucky we all are to just be alive. When you think of all the factors that created the universe, sun, earth and that my grandparents met, then my parents met and that I was even born, a healthy baby, with no defects is a miracle. And I think really, what's this big hangup I have about sex. In the first place it's the reason why I even exist. It's a fundamental part of life and it's natural to want it and experience it. Do I really want it to prevent me from having years of memories with my wife and kids, b-day parties, graduations, vacations, etc. Nevermind the feeling of being intimate and loving someone. I should do what makes me truly happy and I believe love is the ultimate way to experience happiness, so it should naturally be a stronger influence than the hangup I have.

So obviously my heart tells me one thing but my brain another, ultimately I'd prefer for my heart to win, but it's just hard to overcome, as I feel my image will be tarnished.

Anyway lol, that's my story.

Thats all fine and dandy but this is clearly getting in the way....not to mention the poor girl who liked you enough to go out on 10 dates. How do you think she feels right about now?

Its hurting you (you admit this since you are here) and its hurting others you manage to take on in your life. Go see a counselor....no big deal

[surfhb2]

I just feel I have to maintain an image .............I have a really, really big ego and I want to always win, be the best, strive for perfection, etc.

BTW....these are serious flaws a therapist can help you overcome