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Thread: REALLY need advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    REALLY need advice

    I know this is going to be long but there is a lot involved so if you're going to reply please read it all. Ok, I met this girl about 10-11 months ago through her mom which was a good friend of my mom. We went on a couple of dates and started to hit it off. Then her mom died. We got through it and shortly after began going out. After we had been going out for about 3 months she decided to apply for grad school in Ohio (600 miles away from me). Well, we have been going out for 9 months now and she just left for grad school. It's not like we're new to the long distance thing (she was about 150 miles away before at college) but this is a lot further away. Before we used to see eachother at least once every two weeks and sometimes for a couple of days a week. Now we are only going to see eachother at best once every 3 weeks and she'll have to fly back to see me. I've still got a semester left of school to graduate here so I can't move in with her right now. She wants to tough it out and have me move in with her after I graduate. I told her I'm not sure. Also, if I do move out there I'll have to try to get a job and with a Computer Science degree (that's what I'm graduating with) it's hard to find jobs anywhere. Well, I've been having a lot of trouble dealing with her being away lately. It's hard to think that I'll only see her a handful of times before Christmas. She is the first girlfriend that I've ever had and the first person I've ever loved. It would be very hard for me to break up with her right now but it's also hard to go on. I'm only her second boyfriend (her first one was for 2.5 years) but she is much more "experienced" than me which has kind of always bothered me. Although we trust eachother very much and love eachother to death it's getting to be a really stressful relationship. I don't think that I could ask for a better girlfriend, she would do anything for me. It's really hard for me to think about breaking up because I don't know if I'll ever find someone like this again, I never had before and I'm almost 23 years old. Moving away would also mean moving away from all of my friends, although she said she would move back with me in 1.5 years when she graduates. It also makes me feel really bad to ask her or her father to buy her plane tickets that cost hundreds of dollars when I know she has no money. And when I go to see her (I'm driving) I'll have to take off of work and school. She's said that if I don't move in with her after I graduate that she really doesn't think it will work out. My friends like her very much but they think that I'm crazy to stay with her when she's this far away. Does anyone have any advice for me? Is it worth it to try to stay together?

  2. #2
    Illusional's Avatar
    Illusional is offline different state of mind
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    first of all..she ain't that much more experienced than you cuz she been in one more relationship. trust me, when you're at your first and she's at her second..it's like a split second in a marathon race.


    secondly, i think that you're worrying too much about the future. it's good that you're thinking about it but i think that you should worry about it when it actually gets here. you're 23 and how many more years of schooling does she have? you said atleast 1.5 right???? well for now, live up those 1.5 years because you never know when you're break up. maybe she'll get tired of waiting to see you or maybe you'll hate her for not wanting to move back. there are so many reason and so many things that can happen in that timeframe that i would suggest that you live it up now. raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
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    If you really love her, you need to do whatever you have to do, to keep her... You said you will graduate in one semester right? Thats not too far away.... just hold on, communication is key..... Long distance relationships are hard enough as it is! Trust me, I know!

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