i do not what is in her mind. what should i do?

[loneranger163]

I knew this girl for 3 years since college. We were quite close at first. But we did not talk to each other for about a year because we were busy and were apart until the beginning of this year. We chat through phone and facebook. 2 months ago I ask her out for a date and she agreed. During that date, we managed to catch up with each other even after a year. Actually I have feeling towards this girl when we first met 3 years back but something happened and I did not approach her.

The day after our first date, she met her ex. She was crying and she told me everything about it. That time, I had the thought of "how can I make this girl happy again". And it so happens that her birthday was few weeks away. It seems like I was given a second chance to do what I didn't do 3 years ago. So I made her a gift myself and planned a surprise for her. I would say the gift and the surprise was a success. On her birthday and after that, we have dated each other a few times.

Few weeks ago, we chat over the phone. I purposely brought up a topic to test her feeling towards me. I hinted her about my feeling towards her and she also said something that made me feel like she too have the same feeling towards me. But i am not sure if i am wrong. She said that she was surprised and touched by my sincerity (the gift i made for her) and she would rather choose someone like me rather than those rich dude who drive luxury cars and buy her expensive gifts. And i guess she knew my feeling towards her because of a beautiful misunderstanding when we chat over the phone.

I am glad to hear that from her. But it seems like I care about her more than she cares about me. Everytime I am the one who make the first move, eg asking her out, start a conversation, etc. It's not that I care about who makes the first move but at least, she needs to give me a respond. It seems like what she did and what she said are totally different.

I am lost right now. I really like this girl and I do not want to lose her twice but I do not know whether I should continue going after her or should I give up? Hopefully can get advice from you girls out there, if you talk to a guy like that, what does it mean? is it a go or no go?

[michelle23]

she is rebounding. give her time-say 6months with no contact and then ask her out

[loneranger163]

i thought of doing so. i tried not to contact her but the most, 3 days. and every time she text me or talks to me, i cant resist. and i'm afraid 6 months is too long, what if i lose her within this 6 months?

[4 ratties]

Well u already tried.. You told her how u feel, u made her a present, etc...
Now you can either talk to her again about it, wait for her to come around, or move on.
I would say u are what they call "friend zoned" with this girl. She sees you as friend and that comfortable for her and doesn't want more. If she wanted to be with you, she would, because she knows u have feelings for her. I would find someone who has strong feelings for you so you can experience a more fulfilling relationship

[loneranger163]

4 ratties,

maybe u r right, we are in this 'friend zoned'. buy i really do not want to let her go so easily cuz i know she is the one i am looking for. i know i cant force her to fell in love with me but i lose her once. now it feels like i have been given a second chance to make things right. i just dont want to give up so easily.

maybe i should give her some time.

thanks

[smackie9]

How could she have feelings as the same as you? You are 3 years ahead of her for starters, secondly she is still emotionally attached to her ex which make her emotionally unavailable to you. Right now she is using you as her emotional tampon while she heals from her previous relationship. I suspect she is still wanting to get back with him so right now you are not in a good spot. Back off, and stop going out with her or you will lock yourself into the friends zone. Give her space.